Results

I got a chance to call the nurse at PPVI to see what my progesterone results were from the draw on Tuesday.  I did it at 7:30 am before work and before all the drama of having to rush to care for my Mom and get her to a hospital as soon as possible.  The results were good, progesterone is at 24.1 (high zone 2) and I am between 6-7 weeks.  If I told you that we are really unsure of the conception date you would think that with charting we could tell, but I had the longest cycle of CM and we tried to use almost everyday that we could unless we were passed out.  The nurses are always telling me we have to use everyday of opportunity, no joke!    I am hoping I am a little further along, but at the least, I am right at 6 weeks.  I can't believe that and I am so very excited.  I stay so tried and yesterday had a big bout with indigestion, stomach upset, grouchiness.  I stay hungry and keep wanting Mexican food which is not like me at all!!  I don't usually crave Mexican.  I cannot wait for the u/s and ob appointment on Monday.  The nurse asked me today if it had been pure torture and it really has been a little overwhelming to not know what is going on, but I keep reminding myself that hundreds of years ago, women had no u/s machines to calm their fears.  They had to just trust God's will.  I wanted to do another hcg beta test on Tuesday, but could not get the chance to call the nurses to write the order . .  . I was almost afraid to get bad news too.  All right, I said it.  There is still a huge part of me that is nervous and having to call on God, our Holy Mother, and the saints for help in finding peace and trust in God's will.     Only God knows the plans that He has in mind for this child, I have only been given a small opportunity of providing shelter for them until their arrival in our outside world.  All the things that I thought I knew about pregnancy or childbirth, even breastfeeding is going out the window.  I find myself wondering how I will learn how to do everything as I should, but I think that is God allowing me to experience true humility in this circumstance,   like our Blessed Mother's humility when she visited with the Angel Gabriel and learned of God's great plan for her life.   Dearest Abba,  Help me to walk in your path, to trust where you are leading me, and to always, always sing your praises.  Amen.  "I set before you life & death, blessings and curses; CHOOSE LIFE, so that you and your children will live!"  Deuteronomy 30:19