The other day, I talked with the nurse from ppvi and she mentioned I could do one more blood draw today but we decided against it, being at 37 weeks according to my calculations and at 36 w 3 days according to the edd the doctor gave me.
She (my local ob/gyn)mentioned at yesterday's appointment that the baby is still really high even though she was able to feel his head - still no dilation. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that my body is not already preparing for birth. I asked her if she thought the progesterone support was necessary and she said she thought I could stop at this point. I was thinking this is probably keeping him high, although I have no idea if this some stupid idea my crazy mind has come up with.
So the questions are this:
1. At what stage of pregnancy does PPVI or Napro minded doctors typically stop progesterone support?
2. I think that we would have had to stop the shots either tonight or with the Friday shot, does anyone know how this could cause a change for the baby or pregnancy?
Also, at the doctor's appointment, Joseph is growing well and the doctor would like to see me go no further than December 14, 2010 unless he comes sooner. It was a whirlwind of emotions and I am still trying to absorb all of the information presented to me. Prayer buddy, I am asking for prayers for a safe and healthy delivery and that I can have a delivery that I can remember and cherish. Also that the remainder of this pregnancy continues to be life-giving for him!!!
We kept waiting for the crib to be "gifted" to us and for unknown reasons the people who really wanted to get it for us never got it, so my husband suprised me with it last night! Best suprise ever!!!! He is already such a good daddy! Praise God, I know that we are not deserving of this precious blessing, but we are forever grateful!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Waiting - Advent - New Lessons
Advent seemed to knock me in the face this year. It seems that the lessons on waiting are not going to end anytime soon. I really thought I have become pretty good at waiting. I thought that I had realized that waiting on God and not forcing my own will and timing was worth the extra sacrifice. Well, I still know it, but I am still having a hard time accepting it with a grateful and generous heart.
For some reason, I have been extremely emotional. Irrational levels of emotion. My poor husband has been very kind about it, even my family seems to understand that that this type of mood seems to just be a timely part of the course for this stage in my life, but I get even more grumpier knowing that I am grouchy and not expressing the true joy and gratefulness that are deeply rooted in my heart right now! I was crying on Thanksgiving night simply because I was so upset with myself for being so emotional and not being able to keep everything in check. Really? This is a new level of crazy, even for me.
There was some really tough moments (hours, if I am being honest) on Thanksgiving that just made my day seem harder than most. It was not the typical family day of festivities and I was not used to that. We were blessed to have dinner with my father in law but he was not in a happy mood and there was no one else there. My mother in law was working, the rest of J's family was elsewhere and it was J and I at the table when we sat down to eat. No blessing as a family, etc. Not like my family thanksgivings at all and then we were off to visit my Mom at the hospital and while she is doing better, it is still extremely tough to see her dependent on a wheelchair and looking exactly like my grandmother in her last years. My mom is only 50 years old. That alone is enough to make someone sad.
The high point of the day was knowing that Joseph was loving the turkey and that next year would be so much different. I had so much to be grateful for everytime is would see my belly squirm or catch my pregnant shadow in a mirror. I really was thankful and my heart was filled with gratitude, just the reality of the situation with out families made it a hard day to not recognize how much we wish some things were different.
There are two other things that really upset me that day and caused me to argue with J and although he said he would be working on those particular issues - nothing has been done yet. This leads me to the reality of truly living out Advent this year. I so want to rush past these days, but know of their great worth. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice! I nearly chuckled at Mass at how God set my due date at the END of ADVENT!!!! This will be my biggest lesson of my life, waiting on God and not forcing my way! I cannot rush the birth of baby Joseph and I do not have any idea when God wills for him to arrive. All I can do is GET READY!
It is my job not to get drowsy - to stay awake and alert. My job is to simply wait.
Speaking of waiting, tomorrow is my last working day. I keep trying to remind myself that when I am caring for our long-awaited miracle, Joseph, I will be so grateful to be home caring for him. Yet, at this time when I am still having to exercise every bit of trust I can muster in my heart that all is going to be well, I am afraid to have too many quiet moments before that time. Not sure why all of this is coming to the surface now, except that maybe my emotions are having a grand time seeing me grow in faith.
I will see the doctor tomorrow for another biopysical and regular ob check-up. I want desperately to hear that there is some changes that my body is doing to prepare to Joseph's arrival and have some clue as to when he is coming, but I may have to just wait to see what the specialist says on December 6. My phyiscal discomfort has lessened in some areas. My biggest concern is over the bottom parts of my scar tissue/incision from my laparotomy. It is stretched out alot. I do have hip pains and sleep is good, when I can actually find a comfortable positon. I do offer it up - so these pains are still serving a huge purpose! Since last week, I started experiencing some swelling, but with rest and more fluids it seems to improve. If I do alot of running around town, it gets bad. Thankfully the 24 hour urine testing did not show any thing to indicate that I needed bedrest or early hospitalization, praise God.
I am mot meaning to complain, these really are some of the sweetest moments of my life. I still sit in awe that there is a baby growing inside of my belly, in my womb of all the wombs in the world. I still am stunned to silence at his movements and know that there is no other feeling in the world that could make me happier. It sounds so silly, but I think that when labor is upon me and I get to finally meet this little guy - I will truly know what these last months were all about . . . it has been such a mystery, joyfully, of course carrying this sweet baby, but I am still in awe that I will meet our son one day soon.
Blessings to you all this Advent! May this season of waiting renew your hope!
I am looking foward to praying for my prayer buddy! I feel so honoered to be her prayer buddy and can only imagine how wonderful God's plans are for her!!!
For some reason, I have been extremely emotional. Irrational levels of emotion. My poor husband has been very kind about it, even my family seems to understand that that this type of mood seems to just be a timely part of the course for this stage in my life, but I get even more grumpier knowing that I am grouchy and not expressing the true joy and gratefulness that are deeply rooted in my heart right now! I was crying on Thanksgiving night simply because I was so upset with myself for being so emotional and not being able to keep everything in check. Really? This is a new level of crazy, even for me.
There was some really tough moments (hours, if I am being honest) on Thanksgiving that just made my day seem harder than most. It was not the typical family day of festivities and I was not used to that. We were blessed to have dinner with my father in law but he was not in a happy mood and there was no one else there. My mother in law was working, the rest of J's family was elsewhere and it was J and I at the table when we sat down to eat. No blessing as a family, etc. Not like my family thanksgivings at all and then we were off to visit my Mom at the hospital and while she is doing better, it is still extremely tough to see her dependent on a wheelchair and looking exactly like my grandmother in her last years. My mom is only 50 years old. That alone is enough to make someone sad.
The high point of the day was knowing that Joseph was loving the turkey and that next year would be so much different. I had so much to be grateful for everytime is would see my belly squirm or catch my pregnant shadow in a mirror. I really was thankful and my heart was filled with gratitude, just the reality of the situation with out families made it a hard day to not recognize how much we wish some things were different.
There are two other things that really upset me that day and caused me to argue with J and although he said he would be working on those particular issues - nothing has been done yet. This leads me to the reality of truly living out Advent this year. I so want to rush past these days, but know of their great worth. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice! I nearly chuckled at Mass at how God set my due date at the END of ADVENT!!!! This will be my biggest lesson of my life, waiting on God and not forcing my way! I cannot rush the birth of baby Joseph and I do not have any idea when God wills for him to arrive. All I can do is GET READY!
It is my job not to get drowsy - to stay awake and alert. My job is to simply wait.
Speaking of waiting, tomorrow is my last working day. I keep trying to remind myself that when I am caring for our long-awaited miracle, Joseph, I will be so grateful to be home caring for him. Yet, at this time when I am still having to exercise every bit of trust I can muster in my heart that all is going to be well, I am afraid to have too many quiet moments before that time. Not sure why all of this is coming to the surface now, except that maybe my emotions are having a grand time seeing me grow in faith.
I will see the doctor tomorrow for another biopysical and regular ob check-up. I want desperately to hear that there is some changes that my body is doing to prepare to Joseph's arrival and have some clue as to when he is coming, but I may have to just wait to see what the specialist says on December 6. My phyiscal discomfort has lessened in some areas. My biggest concern is over the bottom parts of my scar tissue/incision from my laparotomy. It is stretched out alot. I do have hip pains and sleep is good, when I can actually find a comfortable positon. I do offer it up - so these pains are still serving a huge purpose! Since last week, I started experiencing some swelling, but with rest and more fluids it seems to improve. If I do alot of running around town, it gets bad. Thankfully the 24 hour urine testing did not show any thing to indicate that I needed bedrest or early hospitalization, praise God.
I am mot meaning to complain, these really are some of the sweetest moments of my life. I still sit in awe that there is a baby growing inside of my belly, in my womb of all the wombs in the world. I still am stunned to silence at his movements and know that there is no other feeling in the world that could make me happier. It sounds so silly, but I think that when labor is upon me and I get to finally meet this little guy - I will truly know what these last months were all about . . . it has been such a mystery, joyfully, of course carrying this sweet baby, but I am still in awe that I will meet our son one day soon.
Blessings to you all this Advent! May this season of waiting renew your hope!
I am looking foward to praying for my prayer buddy! I feel so honoered to be her prayer buddy and can only imagine how wonderful God's plans are for her!!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Showered in love ~ sneak peek! Happy Thanksgiving!
We have so much to be thankful for this year - wishing you all the very best and may your hearts all be filled to the brim with gratefulness~Sidenote: I have been trying to update my blog to include the gorgeous pictures from the shower this past weekend, but I am having significant computer issues. This is what I was able to post so far!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Growth Spurt!
Joseph & I have both had huge growth spurts in the last two weeks!
I have gained 4 lbs in the last two weeks and he is now measuring in at around 7 lbs 4 oz.
He is measuring like a full term baby and I am still not dilated. I think there is a connection to taking the progesterone as recommended from Dr. H and then dilating later in pregnancy. Not sure, but that is my theory. My cervix is still high and closed.
I know that last time I talked about how all of the sudden, pain and discomfort entered the picture for me as I am trying to gracefully let this baby grow, but the pain I discussed before shifted to a new series of issues. Primarly is one of tremendous sensitivity around my belly button and all of the tenderness there. The feelings for that were strong for about 3 days and then it has become more tolerable. Something I have never experienced before when getting out of bed was feeling like gravity was pulling my belly down - like a parachute. It hurts to walk for a few minutes, but if I take it slow, it gets better with time.
There have been so many ups and downs this past week! Let me try to remember them all!
Monday - find out that J is measuring around 6 lbs 13 oz. The peri says not to travel out of town for Thanksgiving. Asks me if I have everything ready for J, not really! He told me to enjoy my shower and get things ready because J may be here as early as the next two weeks, but he is hoping for 3-4 weeks. I knew he was coming, so why am I so shocked? Could it be because I am not ready, oh well! If he is - I will be ready to be his mom! By the way, felt perfectly fine all day! My bp was perfect that day, even though J's hb was only 120 when it is normal 150 or so! I have to admit the lower end of the hb had me concerned.
Tuesday - when the pain from the scar tissue made it difficult to sleep, walk, or get up and down (mainly that night even though there was some pain that presented itself at Hobby Lobby. High point was visiting with some great friends and my mom that day!
Wednesday - really bad pain, worked the whole day though. At times it would ease up and make me think that it was completely gone, for which I would sing praises.
Thursday - had the day off, planned to stay home all day. The house was clean and I just wanted to see if very little activity would reduce the pain. What, is that spots on the kitchen floor and we have people coming over tonight? I clean the floor, fold a load of baby clothes and put them away. Uh-oh the pain returned, although it eased up after sitting for awhile. I call the doctor just so they can tell me it is scar tissue and that all is well. They are likely to return my call after 5 pm. I call at 1:00 pm. The nurse calls me back at 1:40 to tell me that they would be more comfortable sending me to the hospital for monitoring to make sure that all is well and that no contrations have started. I am thinking to myself that I am fine, I would know what contrations feel like, etc. I so want to be disobedient, but good sense kicks in and I make my way to the hospital all by myself. The drive is about 4o min. I tell myself the whole time, I can't be that bad if I am driving myself to the hospital. By the time I make it to the hospital, I can barely walk in the doors. The pain returned from the bumpy, stowed up ride. I get admitted to the hospital and they monitored Joseph for a few hours for fetal hb and movements. They monitor my bp and oxygen levels in blood. As much as I did not want to go to the hospital or seem to acquire more drama - I am so glad I did. Listening to his perfect hb was the best gift! For several hours, I just felt so peaceful KNOWING he was thriving!
Same day - get released from the hospital because all looks good. No dilation or contrations yet, which is supposed to be good but I would like to see this show get on the road. Once I get home, my mil is using our home to host game night for the ladies we meet with once a month. To my great suprise, they bring gifts for J! Lots and lots of amazing, generous gifts! So much gratitude was swimming around in my heart! It turned out to be a fun night, the pain still continued but I knew J was ok, so I was more peaceful.
Friday - crazy, long day at work. The pain was milder and easier to tolerate even with lots of movement. Praise God! We got to go eat dinner with some special friends and their daughter then stopped off at Target to get's J's first Christmas stocking! Jessy had already bought J's first Christmas present a few months ago and it is waiting in his bassinet for him. By the way, when Jessy first came up with that idea, I was smitten all over again :)
Saturday - the baby shower for baby J! Unbeleivable perfect! My friends and family were all so generous, not with just the baby items, but with their time, talent, and treasure! I was overcome with emotion before, during, and even after the celebration! I will be doing a picture post of the day soon! I can't wait to share those with you all! On my way there, I was overcome with emotion. I was early so I had time to pray two rosaries and go to the adoration chapel where I spent so many hours praying for a family! It was a thrill to go to Jesus in such a state of joy and thanksgiving on that day! I kept thinking to myself, I used to cry at others baby showers (before, sometimes during, and after, too) and I am still doing it for my own!!! Now that is grace in action!
We go to visit my mom at the hospital after the shower and have a great visit! Then we head home, completely exhausted. Jessy tells me he is not feeling well. Turns out he is really sick. A elevated fever and showing signs of a 24 hr bug. Yet, he is determined to put together the baby items we received and bring in all the gifts and look at them for the first time! Falling in love with your husband still everyday because of the joy you see in his eyes even when he is sick has to be one of the greatest gifts from God I have ever received! I rejoiced in seeing him be blown away at the generousity of others and feeling so showered in love by their willingness to help us prepare for baby J! By the way, it was today that the pain on the left side eased enough for me to enjoy the day, thank God!
Sunday - stay home, did not even get to go to mass as I was trying to tend to Jessy. Around 3 he begins to feel better and we make a quick trip to visit his brother's family for an early Thanksgiving dinner.
Monday - barely slept the night before because of terrible headache. Fight headache despite busy morning at work and u/s at 11:30. The biophysical u/s went well. There is still a good amount of fluid, the placenta is functioning well, J's movements are good with breathing movements, his hb is at 145 bpm. They tell me he is measuring about 7 lbs 4 oz, which is about a 2 lb gain in the last two weeks. Holey Moley! They are saying I am at 35 weeks and I just know that I am at 36 weeks. I have to go back at 4 pm for the appt with the doctor.
The 4 pm appt does not go so good. When I got there I was miserable. Felt like I was having a cold sweat. I kept praying I did not get what Jessy had over the weekend. Turns out that my bp is not good. My urine from earlier in the day was not good, so I now have to do the 24 urine test and bring it to the lab at 630 am on Wednesday so they can know how to treat me and J before the Thanksgiving holidays kick in! Great. Feeling completely out of sorts, being scared of the possible outcomes of pre-eclampsia, etc. The doctor shows great concern over these issues which she is disturbing because she is normally extremely laid back. She kept trying to exemplify being laid back, but that plan just did not work. I knew that she doesn't want to take any chances with J and I and she clearly told me that she will do all she can to keep us both healthy because she knows just what I have gone through to get to this point! First of all pregnant at all and second of all - a successful, nearly full term pregnancy! I was blown away at her sincerity because she is not normally so direct in a concerned way. She is normally very easy going and this was almost sending up a red flag for me a few weeks ago. So glad the switch happened, even though I don't like the real reason for the extensive concern. I noticed on the day of the shower, it looked like I had no ankles and I have had a decrease in bathroom runs so I can feel so fluid retention, even though I am still trying to drink lots of water to flush out my system. Finally got to come home and rest. I soon felt better, but headed to bed really early, next thing I know, Jessy is tucking me in the covers, grabbing my prayer book out of my hands because I fell asleep during my prayers and turning out the light. I could barely talk clearly, I was so tired.
Today - feeling better. Just recently felt the need to clean the master bathroom. I am going to wrap the christmas presents soon, Jessy just has a few gift cards to pick up for some others and then we are done with the Christmas shopping. I am going to pack my hospital bag today, too. My doctor said yesterday, that if the urine test has a certain outcome, I could possibly be put in the hospital until delivery. If it has a different (less threatening result, I could be put on bedrest. I was still planning to work Wednesday and Monday. Oh welll. J does come before work. I am trying to do as much as I can today. I feel like I am running out of time to get everyting ready. I don't want my sweet husband to have to do everything on his own although I know he willingly would.
I have gained 4 lbs in the last two weeks and he is now measuring in at around 7 lbs 4 oz.
He is measuring like a full term baby and I am still not dilated. I think there is a connection to taking the progesterone as recommended from Dr. H and then dilating later in pregnancy. Not sure, but that is my theory. My cervix is still high and closed.
I know that last time I talked about how all of the sudden, pain and discomfort entered the picture for me as I am trying to gracefully let this baby grow, but the pain I discussed before shifted to a new series of issues. Primarly is one of tremendous sensitivity around my belly button and all of the tenderness there. The feelings for that were strong for about 3 days and then it has become more tolerable. Something I have never experienced before when getting out of bed was feeling like gravity was pulling my belly down - like a parachute. It hurts to walk for a few minutes, but if I take it slow, it gets better with time.
There have been so many ups and downs this past week! Let me try to remember them all!
Monday - find out that J is measuring around 6 lbs 13 oz. The peri says not to travel out of town for Thanksgiving. Asks me if I have everything ready for J, not really! He told me to enjoy my shower and get things ready because J may be here as early as the next two weeks, but he is hoping for 3-4 weeks. I knew he was coming, so why am I so shocked? Could it be because I am not ready, oh well! If he is - I will be ready to be his mom! By the way, felt perfectly fine all day! My bp was perfect that day, even though J's hb was only 120 when it is normal 150 or so! I have to admit the lower end of the hb had me concerned.
Tuesday - when the pain from the scar tissue made it difficult to sleep, walk, or get up and down (mainly that night even though there was some pain that presented itself at Hobby Lobby. High point was visiting with some great friends and my mom that day!
Wednesday - really bad pain, worked the whole day though. At times it would ease up and make me think that it was completely gone, for which I would sing praises.
Thursday - had the day off, planned to stay home all day. The house was clean and I just wanted to see if very little activity would reduce the pain. What, is that spots on the kitchen floor and we have people coming over tonight? I clean the floor, fold a load of baby clothes and put them away. Uh-oh the pain returned, although it eased up after sitting for awhile. I call the doctor just so they can tell me it is scar tissue and that all is well. They are likely to return my call after 5 pm. I call at 1:00 pm. The nurse calls me back at 1:40 to tell me that they would be more comfortable sending me to the hospital for monitoring to make sure that all is well and that no contrations have started. I am thinking to myself that I am fine, I would know what contrations feel like, etc. I so want to be disobedient, but good sense kicks in and I make my way to the hospital all by myself. The drive is about 4o min. I tell myself the whole time, I can't be that bad if I am driving myself to the hospital. By the time I make it to the hospital, I can barely walk in the doors. The pain returned from the bumpy, stowed up ride. I get admitted to the hospital and they monitored Joseph for a few hours for fetal hb and movements. They monitor my bp and oxygen levels in blood. As much as I did not want to go to the hospital or seem to acquire more drama - I am so glad I did. Listening to his perfect hb was the best gift! For several hours, I just felt so peaceful KNOWING he was thriving!
Same day - get released from the hospital because all looks good. No dilation or contrations yet, which is supposed to be good but I would like to see this show get on the road. Once I get home, my mil is using our home to host game night for the ladies we meet with once a month. To my great suprise, they bring gifts for J! Lots and lots of amazing, generous gifts! So much gratitude was swimming around in my heart! It turned out to be a fun night, the pain still continued but I knew J was ok, so I was more peaceful.
Friday - crazy, long day at work. The pain was milder and easier to tolerate even with lots of movement. Praise God! We got to go eat dinner with some special friends and their daughter then stopped off at Target to get's J's first Christmas stocking! Jessy had already bought J's first Christmas present a few months ago and it is waiting in his bassinet for him. By the way, when Jessy first came up with that idea, I was smitten all over again :)
Saturday - the baby shower for baby J! Unbeleivable perfect! My friends and family were all so generous, not with just the baby items, but with their time, talent, and treasure! I was overcome with emotion before, during, and even after the celebration! I will be doing a picture post of the day soon! I can't wait to share those with you all! On my way there, I was overcome with emotion. I was early so I had time to pray two rosaries and go to the adoration chapel where I spent so many hours praying for a family! It was a thrill to go to Jesus in such a state of joy and thanksgiving on that day! I kept thinking to myself, I used to cry at others baby showers (before, sometimes during, and after, too) and I am still doing it for my own!!! Now that is grace in action!
We go to visit my mom at the hospital after the shower and have a great visit! Then we head home, completely exhausted. Jessy tells me he is not feeling well. Turns out he is really sick. A elevated fever and showing signs of a 24 hr bug. Yet, he is determined to put together the baby items we received and bring in all the gifts and look at them for the first time! Falling in love with your husband still everyday because of the joy you see in his eyes even when he is sick has to be one of the greatest gifts from God I have ever received! I rejoiced in seeing him be blown away at the generousity of others and feeling so showered in love by their willingness to help us prepare for baby J! By the way, it was today that the pain on the left side eased enough for me to enjoy the day, thank God!
Sunday - stay home, did not even get to go to mass as I was trying to tend to Jessy. Around 3 he begins to feel better and we make a quick trip to visit his brother's family for an early Thanksgiving dinner.
Monday - barely slept the night before because of terrible headache. Fight headache despite busy morning at work and u/s at 11:30. The biophysical u/s went well. There is still a good amount of fluid, the placenta is functioning well, J's movements are good with breathing movements, his hb is at 145 bpm. They tell me he is measuring about 7 lbs 4 oz, which is about a 2 lb gain in the last two weeks. Holey Moley! They are saying I am at 35 weeks and I just know that I am at 36 weeks. I have to go back at 4 pm for the appt with the doctor.
The 4 pm appt does not go so good. When I got there I was miserable. Felt like I was having a cold sweat. I kept praying I did not get what Jessy had over the weekend. Turns out that my bp is not good. My urine from earlier in the day was not good, so I now have to do the 24 urine test and bring it to the lab at 630 am on Wednesday so they can know how to treat me and J before the Thanksgiving holidays kick in! Great. Feeling completely out of sorts, being scared of the possible outcomes of pre-eclampsia, etc. The doctor shows great concern over these issues which she is disturbing because she is normally extremely laid back. She kept trying to exemplify being laid back, but that plan just did not work. I knew that she doesn't want to take any chances with J and I and she clearly told me that she will do all she can to keep us both healthy because she knows just what I have gone through to get to this point! First of all pregnant at all and second of all - a successful, nearly full term pregnancy! I was blown away at her sincerity because she is not normally so direct in a concerned way. She is normally very easy going and this was almost sending up a red flag for me a few weeks ago. So glad the switch happened, even though I don't like the real reason for the extensive concern. I noticed on the day of the shower, it looked like I had no ankles and I have had a decrease in bathroom runs so I can feel so fluid retention, even though I am still trying to drink lots of water to flush out my system. Finally got to come home and rest. I soon felt better, but headed to bed really early, next thing I know, Jessy is tucking me in the covers, grabbing my prayer book out of my hands because I fell asleep during my prayers and turning out the light. I could barely talk clearly, I was so tired.
Today - feeling better. Just recently felt the need to clean the master bathroom. I am going to wrap the christmas presents soon, Jessy just has a few gift cards to pick up for some others and then we are done with the Christmas shopping. I am going to pack my hospital bag today, too. My doctor said yesterday, that if the urine test has a certain outcome, I could possibly be put in the hospital until delivery. If it has a different (less threatening result, I could be put on bedrest. I was still planning to work Wednesday and Monday. Oh welll. J does come before work. I am trying to do as much as I can today. I feel like I am running out of time to get everyting ready. I don't want my sweet husband to have to do everything on his own although I know he willingly would.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Body Changes
I have to admit, I was not ready for pain.
At least not yet.
Yesterday, I ran into a craft store near the lab to pick up some drawer pulls for Joseph's dresses when I realized I could barely walk upright. When I got to the store, I had to run all the way to the back of the store for the restroom. Immediately after that, I was walking to the section with the drawer pulls and realized the area that was operated on last year where my left tube was removed was feeling very sore and like really taut muscles that did not want to stretch. I made it to drawer pulls - very slowly and even slower to the checkout and then just sat in my car for awhile trying to relax. I drank a bottle of water and then ran back to the labe to pick up the serum and ship it. I was feeling much better at this time.
Good thing because I was looking foward to visiting a dear friend and her precious daughter for lunch. Well, there was no problem with that side for the duration of the visit. Praise the Lord.
Next, I went to make a visit to my Mom at the hospital in the afternoon after her day of therapy and since I parked nearly a whole block away and then made my way around the hospital, the pain returned once I arrived to her room. I was useless, I collapsed in her new wheelchair because she wanted me to check out its comfort. I finally managed to help her with some things while there but she could tell of my discomfort because I kept touching my left side.
The pain subsided. I made my way home and it continued to come and go. It was really uncomfortable at bedtime, but with extra pillows, I fell asleep. I woke up ok, started moving around and the pain returned. GREAT!!! I could barely get dressed for work. I kept thinking it must be worse because of bloating, etc. The GAS.x. was a temp fix, but apparently that is not the issue. I did make it to work - but the pain continued to come and go throughout the day and made me ponder what contrations will feel like? I would be lying if I said that the pain was easy to endure. I tried to not complain.
I made it home - completely wiped out. I worked the full day like that, the pain did ease up at times. My husband was so wonderful. He helped me get a ton of things done around the house and I ended up doing three loads of laudry with his help and he cleaned the kitchen and living room. His mom wanted to use our home to host a party tomorrow evening and at the rate I was going, I could not gurantee that I would be feeling better tomorrow to do it. I have the full day off tomorrow and I plan to STAY HOME ALL DAY!! Even my mom understands I need a day of no driving, but rest.
One of the reasons I did not call the doctor today to alert them of the pain was because I just want to have a day of no appts, driving, poking, or prodding. I also really think the pain is stretching pains. This boy is getting bigger and probably running out of room. He is still moving and grooving and even then the pain can increase on that left side where I imagine the scar tissue, etc to be localized.
Speaking of his movements, they are so much stronger these days that it startles me. I am not used to such strong kicks and punching. Is this common toward the end? I still love all of his movments, they bring me so much comfort knowing he is thriving. I have to work diligently, minute by minute, to trust in God's great plan for Joseph, J, and I. It is terribly difficult to try to cast off fear and offer up willingness to surrender to God's will and not your own. You would think that I have this lesson mastered by now, but God is still giving me plenty of opportunities to learn and to grow.
At least not yet.
Yesterday, I ran into a craft store near the lab to pick up some drawer pulls for Joseph's dresses when I realized I could barely walk upright. When I got to the store, I had to run all the way to the back of the store for the restroom. Immediately after that, I was walking to the section with the drawer pulls and realized the area that was operated on last year where my left tube was removed was feeling very sore and like really taut muscles that did not want to stretch. I made it to drawer pulls - very slowly and even slower to the checkout and then just sat in my car for awhile trying to relax. I drank a bottle of water and then ran back to the labe to pick up the serum and ship it. I was feeling much better at this time.
Good thing because I was looking foward to visiting a dear friend and her precious daughter for lunch. Well, there was no problem with that side for the duration of the visit. Praise the Lord.
Next, I went to make a visit to my Mom at the hospital in the afternoon after her day of therapy and since I parked nearly a whole block away and then made my way around the hospital, the pain returned once I arrived to her room. I was useless, I collapsed in her new wheelchair because she wanted me to check out its comfort. I finally managed to help her with some things while there but she could tell of my discomfort because I kept touching my left side.
The pain subsided. I made my way home and it continued to come and go. It was really uncomfortable at bedtime, but with extra pillows, I fell asleep. I woke up ok, started moving around and the pain returned. GREAT!!! I could barely get dressed for work. I kept thinking it must be worse because of bloating, etc. The GAS.x. was a temp fix, but apparently that is not the issue. I did make it to work - but the pain continued to come and go throughout the day and made me ponder what contrations will feel like? I would be lying if I said that the pain was easy to endure. I tried to not complain.
I made it home - completely wiped out. I worked the full day like that, the pain did ease up at times. My husband was so wonderful. He helped me get a ton of things done around the house and I ended up doing three loads of laudry with his help and he cleaned the kitchen and living room. His mom wanted to use our home to host a party tomorrow evening and at the rate I was going, I could not gurantee that I would be feeling better tomorrow to do it. I have the full day off tomorrow and I plan to STAY HOME ALL DAY!! Even my mom understands I need a day of no driving, but rest.
One of the reasons I did not call the doctor today to alert them of the pain was because I just want to have a day of no appts, driving, poking, or prodding. I also really think the pain is stretching pains. This boy is getting bigger and probably running out of room. He is still moving and grooving and even then the pain can increase on that left side where I imagine the scar tissue, etc to be localized.
Speaking of his movements, they are so much stronger these days that it startles me. I am not used to such strong kicks and punching. Is this common toward the end? I still love all of his movments, they bring me so much comfort knowing he is thriving. I have to work diligently, minute by minute, to trust in God's great plan for Joseph, J, and I. It is terribly difficult to try to cast off fear and offer up willingness to surrender to God's will and not your own. You would think that I have this lesson mastered by now, but God is still giving me plenty of opportunities to learn and to grow.
Prayer Petitions - updated
I am ready to compile the list of prayer intentions to offer up during the labor and delivery of Joseph.
I just feel my body getting closer to that day. I want to be ready and I trust that God will answer many prayers that are offered whole-heartedly during that time.
Please email me at crystalgayle3719 at yahoo dot com
____
I corrected my email address, I wrote this in the middle of the night, even as I was offering up my pain for some ladies waiting for their miracles!!!!
I just feel my body getting closer to that day. I want to be ready and I trust that God will answer many prayers that are offered whole-heartedly during that time.
Please email me at crystalgayle3719 at yahoo dot com
____
I corrected my email address, I wrote this in the middle of the night, even as I was offering up my pain for some ladies waiting for their miracles!!!!
Monday, November 15, 2010
shocked
Today I had an appointment with the perinatologist.
I nearly forgot about it. Thank goodness I remembered because I needed to see the doctor today.
I am feeling great, besides some timely backaches, gas, and sassines :) Joseph has been moving and grooving so much that my heart has just been enjoying all of these precious moments and the worry seemed to lessen.
Until today . . . nothing big to worry about except at how fast he is growing. I was not prepared to hear at the appointment that they are measuring him to be around 6 lbs. 13 oz. TODAY!!! Unbelievable. I told him about the guess of weight from my thursday appointment and he told me that the regular doctor should not be giving me ideas of weight because they are only supposed to do the biophysical profiles. He and his team are to give me weights and all the important stuff. He wasn't ugly about it, but did say that this baby is not a 5 lb baby anymore.
Then he asked me if we have everything ready for the nursery and I said we are having the shower this weekend. He said, get everything ready and done. He could come as early as the next TWO weeks. He wants to see me again in three weeks (12/6/10) to see how much more Joseph has grown and then he will tell me a date to expect his arrival. He said we are probably looking at four more weeks at the most. We will see. Will update more later.
Another update:
I am doing great on my sugar levels and the doctor is pleased. The doctor said that it is probably genetics making J so big - not the gd because his belly is the thing measuring the best right now!!!
I nearly forgot about it. Thank goodness I remembered because I needed to see the doctor today.
I am feeling great, besides some timely backaches, gas, and sassines :) Joseph has been moving and grooving so much that my heart has just been enjoying all of these precious moments and the worry seemed to lessen.
Until today . . . nothing big to worry about except at how fast he is growing. I was not prepared to hear at the appointment that they are measuring him to be around 6 lbs. 13 oz. TODAY!!! Unbelievable. I told him about the guess of weight from my thursday appointment and he told me that the regular doctor should not be giving me ideas of weight because they are only supposed to do the biophysical profiles. He and his team are to give me weights and all the important stuff. He wasn't ugly about it, but did say that this baby is not a 5 lb baby anymore.
Then he asked me if we have everything ready for the nursery and I said we are having the shower this weekend. He said, get everything ready and done. He could come as early as the next TWO weeks. He wants to see me again in three weeks (12/6/10) to see how much more Joseph has grown and then he will tell me a date to expect his arrival. He said we are probably looking at four more weeks at the most. We will see. Will update more later.
Another update:
I am doing great on my sugar levels and the doctor is pleased. The doctor said that it is probably genetics making J so big - not the gd because his belly is the thing measuring the best right now!!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
My life these days
has been a whirlwind. My house is being neglected and I will be spending the weekend trying to catch up.
Everyday is busy from dawn to dusk, not exactly what I envisioned to be facing right now.
There is just too much going on and I really have to pace myself so that my emotions don't get the best of me - stress will not be my friend at this time in my life and the extra effort to remain calm will pay off.
My little part time job has been nuts for the last month or so. Not terrible, but we have been desperately understaffed because the one who did the same kind of work I do for the company quit/got let go all of the sudden. The other ladies there are so pleasant and helpful, but they are overworked a bit too so I try really hard to not be too needy. I could be more tired simply because of this growing miracle, too. They try really hard not to let the filing back up because they can see bending down to all the bottom file cabinets are tough for me at this stage. I only have a few work days left since I only work three days a week and am planning to stop working around the first week of Decemeber.
I actually think that I will miss my job because I am just now really understanding the hardest parts. Plus the ladies are very kind. It has to be the most pleasant staff I have ever worked around. Praise God for a good work environment. It was exactly what I needed to build up my self-confidience again after that very bad experience with my previous employer.
My mom is in a bad state. Really, bad. She is unable to do much for herself other than feed herself at this time. She has been in the hospital since last Monday and will likely be there for another two weeks minimum. She is receiving amazing care from a wonderful team during the day, but she says the night staff leave alot to be desired. I only saw the night staff in action once and she is not really being too hard on them. Most of the people on that unit are not needing the level of care she is needing so I think they are just overwhelmed. We need lots of prayers for her healing and for the staff. When I went to the team meeting with on Tuesday I kept wondering why the doctor looked so familiar and the two days later I realized because his way and personality reminded me of Dr. H. My mom is unable to think clearly and is clearly deflated in spirit. They are keeping her super busy during the day, but she is wanting me to spend a great deal of time there when she is not in session and I just don't have the energy and I feel like a terrible daughter. There is a lot of work to do get her home wheelchair ready, it is all very overwhelming. She is very disappointed about missing the baby shower. What can I do? I have to roll with the punches and do the best that I can to make things work. One really great high point this week was when she was asking Joseph to give her a high five and he KICKED her!!! Praise God, he does not usually move that much when I am around there.
I have not been able to keep up with the blogs, trying to read a bit, but very little commenting if any at all. If I am not at work, I am usually at a doctor's appt, the lab, or the hospital with my mom.
Time to switch gears and get to some really great news!!!!
Joseph is growing and in a great position. Everything with the biophysical profiles are going well and Joseph is measuring to be around 5 lbs 8 oz! I can barely believe that we are getting so close to meeting our little boy. I am so humbled that I am his mom! The fluid was good and his breathing movements and overall movements are what they wanted to see. I am so very thankful. Someone looked at me yesterday - actually the three ladies that I am working with and they said "well, at least you have had an easy pregnancy!" I was blown away by that comment. I guess I must do a good job of keeping my worries to myself, my husband, and you all, my blogger buddies ;)
I got to see his beautiful ribs and strong thighs :) Seriously, I think the ultrasound guy is amazing and he gets so excited to see me because I am just thrilled with everything he teaches me at each visit and loves sharing the new growth of baby Joseph with me!
I do have to say that I am loving all of his movements - he completely lights up my days already and I am so thankful to have him in our lives. My heart is so full of gratitude.
After the last blood draw for progesterone, I was in high zone 1. So they instructed me to start either the v.s. or the oral progesterone in addition to the pio. I am only going to have to have one more blood draw at 35 weeks and then continue the meds to 37 weeks. It is really nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the shots and progesterone meds. Is the only thing to be concerned about at this stage with less than optimal progesterone levels is going into early labor or is there even more serious things to be worried about?
It is a funny place to be emotionally - watching my mom suffer so much and realize that there is very little I can do for her and then being full of utter joy that so many prayers are being answered in this precious baby boy. He is such a motivation for her right now, that I am so grateful that he can inspire his Granny in such a powerful way.
Everyday is busy from dawn to dusk, not exactly what I envisioned to be facing right now.
There is just too much going on and I really have to pace myself so that my emotions don't get the best of me - stress will not be my friend at this time in my life and the extra effort to remain calm will pay off.
My little part time job has been nuts for the last month or so. Not terrible, but we have been desperately understaffed because the one who did the same kind of work I do for the company quit/got let go all of the sudden. The other ladies there are so pleasant and helpful, but they are overworked a bit too so I try really hard to not be too needy. I could be more tired simply because of this growing miracle, too. They try really hard not to let the filing back up because they can see bending down to all the bottom file cabinets are tough for me at this stage. I only have a few work days left since I only work three days a week and am planning to stop working around the first week of Decemeber.
I actually think that I will miss my job because I am just now really understanding the hardest parts. Plus the ladies are very kind. It has to be the most pleasant staff I have ever worked around. Praise God for a good work environment. It was exactly what I needed to build up my self-confidience again after that very bad experience with my previous employer.
My mom is in a bad state. Really, bad. She is unable to do much for herself other than feed herself at this time. She has been in the hospital since last Monday and will likely be there for another two weeks minimum. She is receiving amazing care from a wonderful team during the day, but she says the night staff leave alot to be desired. I only saw the night staff in action once and she is not really being too hard on them. Most of the people on that unit are not needing the level of care she is needing so I think they are just overwhelmed. We need lots of prayers for her healing and for the staff. When I went to the team meeting with on Tuesday I kept wondering why the doctor looked so familiar and the two days later I realized because his way and personality reminded me of Dr. H. My mom is unable to think clearly and is clearly deflated in spirit. They are keeping her super busy during the day, but she is wanting me to spend a great deal of time there when she is not in session and I just don't have the energy and I feel like a terrible daughter. There is a lot of work to do get her home wheelchair ready, it is all very overwhelming. She is very disappointed about missing the baby shower. What can I do? I have to roll with the punches and do the best that I can to make things work. One really great high point this week was when she was asking Joseph to give her a high five and he KICKED her!!! Praise God, he does not usually move that much when I am around there.
I have not been able to keep up with the blogs, trying to read a bit, but very little commenting if any at all. If I am not at work, I am usually at a doctor's appt, the lab, or the hospital with my mom.
Time to switch gears and get to some really great news!!!!
Joseph is growing and in a great position. Everything with the biophysical profiles are going well and Joseph is measuring to be around 5 lbs 8 oz! I can barely believe that we are getting so close to meeting our little boy. I am so humbled that I am his mom! The fluid was good and his breathing movements and overall movements are what they wanted to see. I am so very thankful. Someone looked at me yesterday - actually the three ladies that I am working with and they said "well, at least you have had an easy pregnancy!" I was blown away by that comment. I guess I must do a good job of keeping my worries to myself, my husband, and you all, my blogger buddies ;)
I got to see his beautiful ribs and strong thighs :) Seriously, I think the ultrasound guy is amazing and he gets so excited to see me because I am just thrilled with everything he teaches me at each visit and loves sharing the new growth of baby Joseph with me!
I do have to say that I am loving all of his movements - he completely lights up my days already and I am so thankful to have him in our lives. My heart is so full of gratitude.
After the last blood draw for progesterone, I was in high zone 1. So they instructed me to start either the v.s. or the oral progesterone in addition to the pio. I am only going to have to have one more blood draw at 35 weeks and then continue the meds to 37 weeks. It is really nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the shots and progesterone meds. Is the only thing to be concerned about at this stage with less than optimal progesterone levels is going into early labor or is there even more serious things to be worried about?
It is a funny place to be emotionally - watching my mom suffer so much and realize that there is very little I can do for her and then being full of utter joy that so many prayers are being answered in this precious baby boy. He is such a motivation for her right now, that I am so grateful that he can inspire his Granny in such a powerful way.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Nursing
Just curious, what is your opinion on breastfeeding classes? I was thinking that I would be able to figure it out with the stuff I am learning from friends and some books. I don't want to be naive, though! I want to successfully nurse our baby. I know it won't be easy, I am already dealing with uncomfortable stages of progress in this area.
I will have excellant support once Joseph is here from my doctor and the lactation specialist at her clinic, but I am really wondering if just going to this class will fill me with more support, knowledge, and hope that all will be well.
I will have excellant support once Joseph is here from my doctor and the lactation specialist at her clinic, but I am really wondering if just going to this class will fill me with more support, knowledge, and hope that all will be well.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Attitude
I have been so impatient lately! Really bad . . . really!
I even fussed at Se.ars today because I had to walk around the whole ground level of the store because no one was at a working register. When I did find a worker near a register, she told me she would take me at a register further away in a different section. I was really pathetic! To top it all off, the sweet lady gave me an additional 15% off to make up for making me hunt down someone to check me out. I guess she felt sorry for me with my big waddle, but I was able to buy a cute maternity top for $9.25! I think I was just overdoing it today and my body and mind were just worn down. Yet, even if I am worn down, I need to keep it to myself.
There has been a high amount of stress in my life lately and I am probably even more stressed simply trying hard to not let the stress worry me like crazy.
My mom is in the hospital again. Poor thing, this is the third time this year that she has had to be in the hospital. Her health has really diminished a great deal over the last few years and she has been having a great difficulty walking and starting to fall and two sundays ago, she fell and broke/crushed an area behind her knee and had to be rushed to the hospital. She is on disablity and did not receive great medical care right away and was very limited in getting transportation, so they finally admitted her yesterday to the hospital, once she was able to see a doctor who could possibly help her in the way she needs. The really sad part is that she needs to keep her leg immoblilized for the next six weeks and will likely be put in a rehab facility because she needs a higher level of medical attention than what she could get at home, yet they may end up having to get home health if insurance doesn't approve the rehab facitlity.
She was in tears knowing that she would almost surely miss the baby shower and who knows if she will be able to go to the hospital when the baby is born. I keep telling her that we need her to take care of herself first and that there will be time for her to spoil and love on Joseph. Yet, I am sad about the times she won't be there to celebrate with us.
In my defense, before the Se.ars episode, I had did my blood draw, spent a few hours with my mom at the hospital, watched a deplorable hospital staff not want to help my mom with her bathroom needs and then after I leave I call her to see how the situation worked out after I left and could barely hear the words she was saying because she was crying so hard because they did not treat her well and I had to call the head nurse to report the issue and then FINALLY she got the medical equiment she needed and pain meds. No matter what . . . the situation is terrible.
The past 10 days have just been hard to see my Mom look like my grandma in her last stages. Thankfully, I got to really talk to my spiritual director about all of this last week and Joseph is the only reason I so determined to take it easy and make my biggest priority all about keeping him safe and sound!
I pray I keep my attitude in check, it can happen, right???
I even fussed at Se.ars today because I had to walk around the whole ground level of the store because no one was at a working register. When I did find a worker near a register, she told me she would take me at a register further away in a different section. I was really pathetic! To top it all off, the sweet lady gave me an additional 15% off to make up for making me hunt down someone to check me out. I guess she felt sorry for me with my big waddle, but I was able to buy a cute maternity top for $9.25! I think I was just overdoing it today and my body and mind were just worn down. Yet, even if I am worn down, I need to keep it to myself.
There has been a high amount of stress in my life lately and I am probably even more stressed simply trying hard to not let the stress worry me like crazy.
My mom is in the hospital again. Poor thing, this is the third time this year that she has had to be in the hospital. Her health has really diminished a great deal over the last few years and she has been having a great difficulty walking and starting to fall and two sundays ago, she fell and broke/crushed an area behind her knee and had to be rushed to the hospital. She is on disablity and did not receive great medical care right away and was very limited in getting transportation, so they finally admitted her yesterday to the hospital, once she was able to see a doctor who could possibly help her in the way she needs. The really sad part is that she needs to keep her leg immoblilized for the next six weeks and will likely be put in a rehab facility because she needs a higher level of medical attention than what she could get at home, yet they may end up having to get home health if insurance doesn't approve the rehab facitlity.
She was in tears knowing that she would almost surely miss the baby shower and who knows if she will be able to go to the hospital when the baby is born. I keep telling her that we need her to take care of herself first and that there will be time for her to spoil and love on Joseph. Yet, I am sad about the times she won't be there to celebrate with us.
In my defense, before the Se.ars episode, I had did my blood draw, spent a few hours with my mom at the hospital, watched a deplorable hospital staff not want to help my mom with her bathroom needs and then after I leave I call her to see how the situation worked out after I left and could barely hear the words she was saying because she was crying so hard because they did not treat her well and I had to call the head nurse to report the issue and then FINALLY she got the medical equiment she needed and pain meds. No matter what . . . the situation is terrible.
The past 10 days have just been hard to see my Mom look like my grandma in her last stages. Thankfully, I got to really talk to my spiritual director about all of this last week and Joseph is the only reason I so determined to take it easy and make my biggest priority all about keeping him safe and sound!
I pray I keep my attitude in check, it can happen, right???
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