My husband and I went to Tar.get last night and did our Registry for Joseph.
I have to admit, I started out with a good measure of anxiety but the joy was amazing. At one point (actually several times), I would just look at my husband in complete awe that we had somehow made it to this stage in our lives. There are no real words to describe the flutters in my heart and the huge smile on our faces.
It may have been a bit early to do it, but time seems to be flying in one sense and dragging on in another. After my first day of working, I knew that my energy level will never be the same once I am working more. I will just want to come home and rest at the end of the day. So we took a late nap and then headed to Tar.get! We are so excited.
There was only one thing that still baffles me. I do plan to nurse (praying that will work out for us) but still registered for some bottles and such in the event that it is needed. I do not exactly know what I will need to nurse. I know I will possibly need a pump and pads, but other than that, not sure. No one in either side of our families nursed their babies. Isn't that odd? I have nothing against bottle feeding, I am just praying that nursing will work for us. I am prepared to sacrifice and for it to be much harder than I can even imagine, but I do have some great friends who will offer support and my husband is on board 100% so that is extremely helpful. Do any of you have suggestions on essentials that I would need to possibly add to the registry in regard to nursing? This is really new to us.
You know, last night I was thinking about our trip to Disney World and how I would always get in the lines, no matter how long they were, with D & J and just wait it out to get to the show, ride, etc that we wanted to experience. I would hear others complain, grumble, whine. I would just wait. I knew that eventually I would get to the front of the time, all it would take was some time and sacrifice (my poor feet). Unfortunately, that is not the same with IF. We waited along time to get to close to "parenthood" We never, ever knew we would get there, we just kept waiting - trying to be patient. We were tested, beaten down, got sent to the back of line many times when we were on the verge of getting there. Sometimes we would even be able to get on the "ride" only to find there was a malfunction and we were escorted off of the "ride" - much to our sorrow - we waited, we got there, we were told to leave. This is such a different experience for us, we are forever grateful. Not taking it for granted, just humble.
This reflection reminds me of today's readings for mass. In all honesty, we will all be judged on how we loved - whether we are at the end of the line, standing, waiting, praying or if we just made it to the on-ramp for the ride and amazed that the new adventure is right before with nothing left in our way.
St. Joseph, pray for us.
St. Gerard, pray for us.
St. Gianna, pray for us.
St. Therese, pray for us.
Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us.
Sam & Nicky, pray for us!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Prayers Answered
Thank you all for your encouraging words about the situation with my Mom. I called her today to see how she was feeling and she admitted feeling "mean" these days and feeling "down". I told her I picked up on that a bit, but that I needed to talk to her about Jospeh's name. She apologized, but told me she does like his name and did not mean to come across that way. Praise God for answered prayers. This was bothering me. I kept thinking about it last night when I should have been sleeping. Thank you for your prayers, I needed them to have the courage to talk to her and for God to have room to move :)
In other news, my day was super busy with the new job. I missed having time to just feel Joseph kick and not be sidetracked ;) I also missed the kitties. The job is a good one and the ladies all seem to be kind. It is in the insurance field and it is a whole new world to me. I have the sense that I can be honest about my feelings there with the boss and she asked me today how long I would be willing to stay and I told her that as long as my health and the baby's health remains good, I would be able to work as long as needed before the Joseph is born.
We had a shrimp sandwich before coming home, so we are all filled up and I get to go to bed soon, can it get any better? hahaha Sleep . . . it is a luxury that I love!!!! It won't last long, I know! I have to take advantage of the time I have now! I honestly can't wait to lose sleep caring for Joseph. I know I will be worn ous and might mumble and grumble to my husband or others close to me when I am exhausted but I will still remember that getting up in the middle of the night - comforting my baby is a gift that I should never, ever take for granted.
In other news, my day was super busy with the new job. I missed having time to just feel Joseph kick and not be sidetracked ;) I also missed the kitties. The job is a good one and the ladies all seem to be kind. It is in the insurance field and it is a whole new world to me. I have the sense that I can be honest about my feelings there with the boss and she asked me today how long I would be willing to stay and I told her that as long as my health and the baby's health remains good, I would be able to work as long as needed before the Joseph is born.
We had a shrimp sandwich before coming home, so we are all filled up and I get to go to bed soon, can it get any better? hahaha Sleep . . . it is a luxury that I love!!!! It won't last long, I know! I have to take advantage of the time I have now! I honestly can't wait to lose sleep caring for Joseph. I know I will be worn ous and might mumble and grumble to my husband or others close to me when I am exhausted but I will still remember that getting up in the middle of the night - comforting my baby is a gift that I should never, ever take for granted.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Good Life
Today I got up early, made my sweet hubbie some lunch and sent him off with a kiss. Then I ate toast with peanut butter and went back to bed. Is that not the funniest thing ever? I almost cannot beleive it myself! I slept in, REALLY in!!! I woke bright eyed, cheerful and not a moment of dizziness or weakness. Last night I thought that I should wake up early, eat a bit of breakfast and then go back and lay down before facing the day because maybe I was putting too much time between supper and breakfast the next day. It seemed to do the trick. We tend to eat supper early and we are not nighttime snackers. I usually can barely get anything down for breakfast, but today it was worth it so that I could feel my best! Praise God, it seemed to help. I will try to do all of that blood work on Tuesday, since I will already be going in for the progesterone draw.
When I did finally drag my lazy rear out of the bed, I quickly got to doing the house work. I vacuumed, did a load of laundry, have supper all ready to pop in the oven this evening, made some lunch, and then cleaned the kitchen.
When I was in the middle of making the meatloaf (I am not a big meatloaf fan, but the lea & perrins recipe is great and EASY!), I got a phone call from a number I did not know. I ended up answering the phone and it turned out to be the lady from the job I interviewed for back in February (they offered it, but I did not take it b/c no benefits) and she offered me a temp position for a month at a really decent salary for just do some answering of phones, filing, and receiving payments. I immediately accepted and thought, that is why I got to have such a big nap this morning - it won't be happening again for awhile.
So I start tomorrow. It helped that a friend of mine works there and let them know I was not working and could use the work. I am so excited. It will help us pad our savings a bit and pay a few of the medical bills that keep flowing in our mailbox.
My husband was so excited when I called and told him. There is nothing physically demanding in this job, so we think it will work.
I could tell you that last night as I was going to bed, I prayed "God, please help me find a job, one that I can do even with the baby coming." I knew that it is so hard to find a job for only 3-4 months, so this was really exactly what I was hoping for right now. I pray that I stay healthy enough to handle it all and be able to pace myself so that Joseph stays safe.
In regard to prayer requests, can I please ask for prayers for my Mom. She is having a difficult time right now for many reasons and I think her depression is coming back. She stays in constant pain and has limited medical resources and they are d/c her pain meds because she is on Medicaid for some reason and they said she has taken them long enough. They have not weaned her off or anything, but she is scared. When she is scared, her attitude can be hard to accept. She has been making ugly comments about the name we chose for Joseph and it is really wearing thin. I don't know how to handle her ugliness anymore and today when I called to tell her my good news, she went on again about Joseph's name and was just so ugly about it. I did not even tell her my news and until her attitude gets better, I am not going to visit her. This is not the first time she had made ugly comments to me about this pregnancy, she just doesn't know how to talk to people well and has always hurt my feelings. This just beats all. She has made a bit of a stink over how my friend wants to plan my shower, timing, etc and I just had to tell her that I am so very grateful that my friends offered to do this for us and I love what they are doing. I told her if she is unhappy about it, she and my family could host their own. She is really not well and that alone helps me to try to be understanding, but my feelings are still hurt. I will get over it, with time.
When I did finally drag my lazy rear out of the bed, I quickly got to doing the house work. I vacuumed, did a load of laundry, have supper all ready to pop in the oven this evening, made some lunch, and then cleaned the kitchen.
When I was in the middle of making the meatloaf (I am not a big meatloaf fan, but the lea & perrins recipe is great and EASY!), I got a phone call from a number I did not know. I ended up answering the phone and it turned out to be the lady from the job I interviewed for back in February (they offered it, but I did not take it b/c no benefits) and she offered me a temp position for a month at a really decent salary for just do some answering of phones, filing, and receiving payments. I immediately accepted and thought, that is why I got to have such a big nap this morning - it won't be happening again for awhile.
So I start tomorrow. It helped that a friend of mine works there and let them know I was not working and could use the work. I am so excited. It will help us pad our savings a bit and pay a few of the medical bills that keep flowing in our mailbox.
My husband was so excited when I called and told him. There is nothing physically demanding in this job, so we think it will work.
I could tell you that last night as I was going to bed, I prayed "God, please help me find a job, one that I can do even with the baby coming." I knew that it is so hard to find a job for only 3-4 months, so this was really exactly what I was hoping for right now. I pray that I stay healthy enough to handle it all and be able to pace myself so that Joseph stays safe.
In regard to prayer requests, can I please ask for prayers for my Mom. She is having a difficult time right now for many reasons and I think her depression is coming back. She stays in constant pain and has limited medical resources and they are d/c her pain meds because she is on Medicaid for some reason and they said she has taken them long enough. They have not weaned her off or anything, but she is scared. When she is scared, her attitude can be hard to accept. She has been making ugly comments about the name we chose for Joseph and it is really wearing thin. I don't know how to handle her ugliness anymore and today when I called to tell her my good news, she went on again about Joseph's name and was just so ugly about it. I did not even tell her my news and until her attitude gets better, I am not going to visit her. This is not the first time she had made ugly comments to me about this pregnancy, she just doesn't know how to talk to people well and has always hurt my feelings. This just beats all. She has made a bit of a stink over how my friend wants to plan my shower, timing, etc and I just had to tell her that I am so very grateful that my friends offered to do this for us and I love what they are doing. I told her if she is unhappy about it, she and my family could host their own. She is really not well and that alone helps me to try to be understanding, but my feelings are still hurt. I will get over it, with time.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Too Much
I have had too much on my mind lately. All kinds of things. Great things and some things to make me wonder.
My last appointment with my local ob was good. I told her some of my symptoms about being more tired and weak, requiring more sleep, and she gave me a list of blood work to do. I was trying to put it off until I went back for my next progesterone draw, but I am not thinking that will be wise. She wanted to check my iron levels, t4 levels, and do the first glucose testing for monitoring for gestational diabetes.
My husband thinks that I am definitely dealing with low iron issues. I almost could not go to the grocery store yesterday like I planned. Instead, I took a little nap, woke up completely refreshed and then headed to town to do the errands. I did well, no weakness in the store. Yet, today, I found myself facing the weakness, dizzy feeling again and it is more pronounced in the mornings so I think I will just go in tomorrow for the blood tests, the doctor recommended that I fast for them, so I will do that first thing tomorrow.
I dealt with really low iron after my emergency surgery last May and had to stay in the hospital longer because my levels just would not rise. With good food at home (all iron-rich foods) I got better after while. I just looked up some information on low iron in pregnancy which I knew was common, but it told me to stay away from liver. I am just tired of thinking about food all the time. It takes a great deal of energy to do all the meal planning now, which I stink at. I did get soem great deals at the grocery store yesterday on meats, so at least now we have some more variety.
I have also been dealing with a crazy headach but it finally eased up. I get the headache at the weirdest times, primarly when laying down. Does anyone know what could be causing this?
I have been finding that I am not so neurotic about worrying about this pregnancy since my last appointment and then getting the call from PPVI that my P4 numbers were rising and showing improvement. See, at first, I thought the fatigue had to do with the increase in progesterone and pregnancy. Everything crosses over, but I have felt weaker the last two days. At least my appetite is steady these days. I had my first experience with true morning sickness the other day with a great deal of time spent around the toilet. It was horrible. I have not had a banana since!!! I do have to say that I felt 100% better after that and was able to eat a hearty lunch that my wonderful friend treated me too!
It has been fun feeling the baby move and while the feelings are not as strong from the inside, they are now visible (clearly) on the outside of my belly. I can see my belly move alot these days and even feel the clothes or covers move in relation to how the baby is kicking. Absolutely amazing. This has helped in lessing my anxiety about whether the baby is doing fine, praise God.
In regard to being pregnant with a squirmy little boy after trying for nearly 10 years, I am brought to tears in boundless joy. I can't say that I really knew this day was going to come, I only prayed that God would allow us to make it to this stage in our life. We did our part, we acted in fatih, but by grace, God has allowed us to experience this miracle.
I hate to say that, knowing so many of my friends are still waiting, still grieving. I feel as though sometimes I am neglectful of their feelings when I share my wonder and excitment about baby Joseph. Yet, I know that I would get so much hope while I was waiting and grieving by reading about others' miracles.
I am about to head to take a nap. What a tough life, right?
My last appointment with my local ob was good. I told her some of my symptoms about being more tired and weak, requiring more sleep, and she gave me a list of blood work to do. I was trying to put it off until I went back for my next progesterone draw, but I am not thinking that will be wise. She wanted to check my iron levels, t4 levels, and do the first glucose testing for monitoring for gestational diabetes.
My husband thinks that I am definitely dealing with low iron issues. I almost could not go to the grocery store yesterday like I planned. Instead, I took a little nap, woke up completely refreshed and then headed to town to do the errands. I did well, no weakness in the store. Yet, today, I found myself facing the weakness, dizzy feeling again and it is more pronounced in the mornings so I think I will just go in tomorrow for the blood tests, the doctor recommended that I fast for them, so I will do that first thing tomorrow.
I dealt with really low iron after my emergency surgery last May and had to stay in the hospital longer because my levels just would not rise. With good food at home (all iron-rich foods) I got better after while. I just looked up some information on low iron in pregnancy which I knew was common, but it told me to stay away from liver. I am just tired of thinking about food all the time. It takes a great deal of energy to do all the meal planning now, which I stink at. I did get soem great deals at the grocery store yesterday on meats, so at least now we have some more variety.
I have also been dealing with a crazy headach but it finally eased up. I get the headache at the weirdest times, primarly when laying down. Does anyone know what could be causing this?
I have been finding that I am not so neurotic about worrying about this pregnancy since my last appointment and then getting the call from PPVI that my P4 numbers were rising and showing improvement. See, at first, I thought the fatigue had to do with the increase in progesterone and pregnancy. Everything crosses over, but I have felt weaker the last two days. At least my appetite is steady these days. I had my first experience with true morning sickness the other day with a great deal of time spent around the toilet. It was horrible. I have not had a banana since!!! I do have to say that I felt 100% better after that and was able to eat a hearty lunch that my wonderful friend treated me too!
It has been fun feeling the baby move and while the feelings are not as strong from the inside, they are now visible (clearly) on the outside of my belly. I can see my belly move alot these days and even feel the clothes or covers move in relation to how the baby is kicking. Absolutely amazing. This has helped in lessing my anxiety about whether the baby is doing fine, praise God.
In regard to being pregnant with a squirmy little boy after trying for nearly 10 years, I am brought to tears in boundless joy. I can't say that I really knew this day was going to come, I only prayed that God would allow us to make it to this stage in our life. We did our part, we acted in fatih, but by grace, God has allowed us to experience this miracle.
I hate to say that, knowing so many of my friends are still waiting, still grieving. I feel as though sometimes I am neglectful of their feelings when I share my wonder and excitment about baby Joseph. Yet, I know that I would get so much hope while I was waiting and grieving by reading about others' miracles.
I am about to head to take a nap. What a tough life, right?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Special Delivery
Today I was able to get this special gift from my very sweet prayer buddy, Thankful (Always Giving Thanks)!
I am so thankful :) You made my day!!! It was especially special since it is my first gift that I received that I put on our Registry! I had a distinct feeling today that a baby is on their way, praise God!!!
I am thrilled about the vitamins, too! Beautiful picture on the card, you thought of everything!!!
Thank you so much!
Friday, August 20, 2010
More good news . . .
My progesterone levels are finally rising again. Praise God!!!!
Grow baby Joseph, grow!
Grow baby Joseph, grow!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
TICKLED.............
BLUE
That's right, we are having a beautiful baby boy!!!!
His name will be Joseph Lee and we are both grinning from ear to ear!!!
In the months after my first miscarriage, nearly 10 years ago, my husband did a 30 day Novena to Saint Joseph in the hopes that he would intercede for us and ask God to heal my body and once again let life reside in my womb! We have always known from that moment on if God allowed us to have a son, his name would be Joseph!
Praise God - you are amazing in your blessings!
St. Joseph, pray for us!
That's right, we are having a beautiful baby boy!!!!
His name will be Joseph Lee and we are both grinning from ear to ear!!!
In the months after my first miscarriage, nearly 10 years ago, my husband did a 30 day Novena to Saint Joseph in the hopes that he would intercede for us and ask God to heal my body and once again let life reside in my womb! We have always known from that moment on if God allowed us to have a son, his name would be Joseph!
Joseph Lee is also a family name. My husband's grandfather, whom we deeply miss to this day, was named Calvin Lee Joseph S. He was such a kind man and we are so thrilled that we can share the stories of him with our son who shares his name.
Praise God - you are amazing in your blessings!
St. Joseph, pray for us!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Overwhelmed
Lately, my days are just spent fully in prayer.
Prayer that God wills for our baby to live, to thrive, to join us in this world.
I have a tendency to get very nervous over serious things and it is draining my joy and my energy.
I am barely able to maintain relationships and tend to the needs of our home because I just want to lay still and keep this baby safe.
I stayed so freaked about my P4 levels that it is completely making me a crazed woman about to drive my sweet husband NUTS!
Ever since last friday, when I learned my levels dropped and we went (currently still exeriencing) through so much trauma trying to get the medications that the doctor wished for me to get - I have been hyper aware of every single symptom my body experiences.
This is not natural and this worry is an unwelcome visitor.
I did not even call the doctor's office when I realized the second type of medicine was not being absorbed or so it seemed. I ended up trying a different method of preparing it before use and thought it was working, not really sure. I did my progesterone draw yesterday. I had knots in my stomach the whole way there because I just can't handle finding out more worrisome news. We have got to fix this issue and do it quick. I think that I just need to get the doctor's office to call it out from Kubat's and not the local compounding pharmacy and I am angry at myself for not doing this on Monday. I did get a shot last night and I am staying faithful to the oral meds, but who knows if those are working since the v.s. from the same pharmacy are not seeming to be absorbed like they should. The cost of progesterone monitoring and support is outrageous and it is not even about the monetary cost anymore, it is taking a toll of me emotionally.
I just wish I had no previous experience with low progestersone or pregnancy loss, but then again, this is who God has created me to be. Praise God, the baby is moving as I type this.
I could not sleep tonight, so I am up. I probably ate too much food that is not good for my belly, so I had some discomfort (ok, really disheartening discomfort) so I got up at 4 am, took two Gas.x chewables and it has calmed down alot. I was laying in bed - begging God that it was just gas. My bowels are just a stranger to me these days and it takes special attention to treat them right. I can't just eat convience foods when I feel lazy and don't want to cook a healthy meal. I had one piece of fried chicken last night and this is what I get. Definitely, not worth it.
As I laid in bed, praying over our growing baby - I dreamed about what it will be like when we are finally face to face and I am able to see them in all their glory :) I imagined them with their pink, rosy skin, sweet little arms and legs, precious toes and fingers and that precious little rear end. Isn't that so funny? I love those precious newborn photos of the baby on their belly!! It takes every ounce of faith and trust in God to wait for his appointed time for us to meet this sweet baby he is nurturing in my womb.
It still amazes me that I am pregnant. I think I knew that pregnancy would be hard, but in my mind I made it a path of rose petals. Not that pregnancy is extremely tough, it is the trusting that is hard. I am growing in faith to my God and learning new ways to teach our child how to grow in faith. Maybe that is what it is all about.
God does get all of the glory! I stand in utter amazement at the gift He has entrusted to us. I am just a vessel. I have no claims to deserve this pregnancy or this child, this child is God's child. I pray that he allows me to be the vessel that continues to nurture this precious life.
If you all have time, please pray for the spiritual welfare of my husband and I. The loss of employment (primarily the who, why, and how) is taking a toll on us. We are managing financially but spiritually it is hard to reconcile with our faith. As children of God, we are called to be treated justly and to justly treat others. It is really hard accepting the faults of the holiest of people when you still recognize them as holy, but their actions did not reflect holiness at all. I am aware that we all make mistakes and that life is not fair, I just have to get used to the fact that sometimes these people do not seem to reflect the justice I know that my God would wish to bestow. Because of the nature of my previous employment, it makes it hard to go to mass, I try to focus on Jesus only, but I do feel isolated. Rejected. Some people have suggested I go to the next diocese, but I am just not ready for that. I am not treated unkindly (except for the questions our priest tries to ask), I just feel betrayed, thrown out, discarded.
I know I am experiencing a transformation in my vocation and that is never comfortable. I will just cling to God and Jesus and beg our Blessed Mother to comfort me.
Prayer that God wills for our baby to live, to thrive, to join us in this world.
I have a tendency to get very nervous over serious things and it is draining my joy and my energy.
I am barely able to maintain relationships and tend to the needs of our home because I just want to lay still and keep this baby safe.
I stayed so freaked about my P4 levels that it is completely making me a crazed woman about to drive my sweet husband NUTS!
Ever since last friday, when I learned my levels dropped and we went (currently still exeriencing) through so much trauma trying to get the medications that the doctor wished for me to get - I have been hyper aware of every single symptom my body experiences.
This is not natural and this worry is an unwelcome visitor.
I did not even call the doctor's office when I realized the second type of medicine was not being absorbed or so it seemed. I ended up trying a different method of preparing it before use and thought it was working, not really sure. I did my progesterone draw yesterday. I had knots in my stomach the whole way there because I just can't handle finding out more worrisome news. We have got to fix this issue and do it quick. I think that I just need to get the doctor's office to call it out from Kubat's and not the local compounding pharmacy and I am angry at myself for not doing this on Monday. I did get a shot last night and I am staying faithful to the oral meds, but who knows if those are working since the v.s. from the same pharmacy are not seeming to be absorbed like they should. The cost of progesterone monitoring and support is outrageous and it is not even about the monetary cost anymore, it is taking a toll of me emotionally.
I just wish I had no previous experience with low progestersone or pregnancy loss, but then again, this is who God has created me to be. Praise God, the baby is moving as I type this.
I could not sleep tonight, so I am up. I probably ate too much food that is not good for my belly, so I had some discomfort (ok, really disheartening discomfort) so I got up at 4 am, took two Gas.x chewables and it has calmed down alot. I was laying in bed - begging God that it was just gas. My bowels are just a stranger to me these days and it takes special attention to treat them right. I can't just eat convience foods when I feel lazy and don't want to cook a healthy meal. I had one piece of fried chicken last night and this is what I get. Definitely, not worth it.
As I laid in bed, praying over our growing baby - I dreamed about what it will be like when we are finally face to face and I am able to see them in all their glory :) I imagined them with their pink, rosy skin, sweet little arms and legs, precious toes and fingers and that precious little rear end. Isn't that so funny? I love those precious newborn photos of the baby on their belly!! It takes every ounce of faith and trust in God to wait for his appointed time for us to meet this sweet baby he is nurturing in my womb.
It still amazes me that I am pregnant. I think I knew that pregnancy would be hard, but in my mind I made it a path of rose petals. Not that pregnancy is extremely tough, it is the trusting that is hard. I am growing in faith to my God and learning new ways to teach our child how to grow in faith. Maybe that is what it is all about.
God does get all of the glory! I stand in utter amazement at the gift He has entrusted to us. I am just a vessel. I have no claims to deserve this pregnancy or this child, this child is God's child. I pray that he allows me to be the vessel that continues to nurture this precious life.
If you all have time, please pray for the spiritual welfare of my husband and I. The loss of employment (primarily the who, why, and how) is taking a toll on us. We are managing financially but spiritually it is hard to reconcile with our faith. As children of God, we are called to be treated justly and to justly treat others. It is really hard accepting the faults of the holiest of people when you still recognize them as holy, but their actions did not reflect holiness at all. I am aware that we all make mistakes and that life is not fair, I just have to get used to the fact that sometimes these people do not seem to reflect the justice I know that my God would wish to bestow. Because of the nature of my previous employment, it makes it hard to go to mass, I try to focus on Jesus only, but I do feel isolated. Rejected. Some people have suggested I go to the next diocese, but I am just not ready for that. I am not treated unkindly (except for the questions our priest tries to ask), I just feel betrayed, thrown out, discarded.
I know I am experiencing a transformation in my vocation and that is never comfortable. I will just cling to God and Jesus and beg our Blessed Mother to comfort me.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Revealing my prayer buddy
Wow, when I was given my prayer buddy I immediately felt pressure to pray without ceasing!
Just days before we began the PB, summer edition, my prayer buddy revealed that she miraculously got her first BFP!!! I was thrilled, but it has not been an easy journey for her - no path strewn with roses! Instead, she faced an incredible bout of nausea and still cared for her precious daughter with grace all while remaining a holy wife!
I rejoiced when I read about her first ultrasound and they saw their newest baby's heartbeat!!!
I cringed every time I read that the nausea was just not letting up and really making every day challenging!
I prayed for her everytime she came to mind and I made a point to pray every morning and evening and ask St. Gerard to protect her and her growing baby. I prayed and asked St. Gianna to be her companion throughout this jouney!!!
She has always been such an encouraging, faithful inspiration to me that I was determined to not be a slacker in prayers for her and her beautiful family! In facing many fears, pains, and questions about my own pregnancy - I offered them up for her and her special intentions.
I am so glad that God has allowed us to be connected through our blogs, but most importantly how we are connected by our faith, our desire to be faithful and loving wives and holy mothers.
My PB was Lifehopes - you are an amazing Mom and I can't wait for your newest baby to join your fun times with your precious daughter!!! It is exciting to be following all of the amazing ways God is enriching your family's lives!!!
Just days before we began the PB, summer edition, my prayer buddy revealed that she miraculously got her first BFP!!! I was thrilled, but it has not been an easy journey for her - no path strewn with roses! Instead, she faced an incredible bout of nausea and still cared for her precious daughter with grace all while remaining a holy wife!
I rejoiced when I read about her first ultrasound and they saw their newest baby's heartbeat!!!
I cringed every time I read that the nausea was just not letting up and really making every day challenging!
I prayed for her everytime she came to mind and I made a point to pray every morning and evening and ask St. Gerard to protect her and her growing baby. I prayed and asked St. Gianna to be her companion throughout this jouney!!!
She has always been such an encouraging, faithful inspiration to me that I was determined to not be a slacker in prayers for her and her beautiful family! In facing many fears, pains, and questions about my own pregnancy - I offered them up for her and her special intentions.
I am so glad that God has allowed us to be connected through our blogs, but most importantly how we are connected by our faith, our desire to be faithful and loving wives and holy mothers.
My PB was Lifehopes - you are an amazing Mom and I can't wait for your newest baby to join your fun times with your precious daughter!!! It is exciting to be following all of the amazing ways God is enriching your family's lives!!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Update PLUS MORE UPDATES
hahaha
the joke is on me :)
No, seriously, I had a u/s today because the doctor wanted to make sure all was well based on my feelings from Friday evening. So I woke up early, went to the appointment and there was a new U/S tech there and so she gets down to business quickly. I wasn't really nervous because I have been feeling the baby move. I am just feeling extra crabby, gross, and tired from that extra progesterone (vaginal suppository)! Anyway, we see the baby moving, great heartbeat (143), praise God, and that my cervix looks just the way it should at this stage in my pregnancy. At least that is what she said. By the way, the baby is getting so big ;) Everytime I see the baby, I am stunned into silence - just adoring this miracle. I tell anyone who will listen how miraculous this baby is to us and for the world! I never tire of celebrating this life! So anyway, as she is trying to do measurements, I mention that the baby did not cooperate last time in reveaing their gender, she looked and looked, and looked but was just blown away that the amount of scar tissue that shadowed much of picture. So no news on the gender of our baby and I am not even sure we will find out before the birth of this child, but you know - that is not important although my husband is excited to know!! I really think that the guy we usually see for the u/s (the one we will see next time we go on 8/19) will be able to see, at least I am hoping so! I really think that it would be fun to be suprised and wait for the big reveal and it would be great to know now!!! Either way, just as long as our baby keeps growing and arrives safely - my dreams will come true!!In other news, I am doing better. Really not liking taking the extra progesterone. It is really giving me hot flashes and I am not able to hold my tongue - I try to express myself with kindness (not always working, ask my husband and mom).
____________
UPDATE:
The progesterone (V.S.) is miserable. I am apparently having a somewhat allergic reaction to the formula they used (the one I used for the past two nights is waxy) and when I talked to the nurse at PPVI she said she will fix it with the pharmacy. It is awful and the only reason I am sharing this is because I don't want someone to ever have to experience this. Last year I took some (Progesterone v.s.) from k.ubats and they were cap formula and yucky but a dream compared to this one I am taking now. Over the weekend, I took cap forms, just a lower dose and was fine. I was literally miserable yesterday and so far today. I will spare you all the details, but thankfully the nurse is right on it. I don't want to do anything to harm my baby, but this IS NOT WORKING for the Mama!!! Please pray that I will heal quickly from this and that the new formula is free or exchanged for the new meds and that they WORK perfectly for Mama and baby!
the joke is on me :)
No, seriously, I had a u/s today because the doctor wanted to make sure all was well based on my feelings from Friday evening. So I woke up early, went to the appointment and there was a new U/S tech there and so she gets down to business quickly. I wasn't really nervous because I have been feeling the baby move. I am just feeling extra crabby, gross, and tired from that extra progesterone (vaginal suppository)! Anyway, we see the baby moving, great heartbeat (143), praise God, and that my cervix looks just the way it should at this stage in my pregnancy. At least that is what she said. By the way, the baby is getting so big ;) Everytime I see the baby, I am stunned into silence - just adoring this miracle. I tell anyone who will listen how miraculous this baby is to us and for the world! I never tire of celebrating this life! So anyway, as she is trying to do measurements, I mention that the baby did not cooperate last time in reveaing their gender, she looked and looked, and looked but was just blown away that the amount of scar tissue that shadowed much of picture. So no news on the gender of our baby and I am not even sure we will find out before the birth of this child, but you know - that is not important although my husband is excited to know!! I really think that the guy we usually see for the u/s (the one we will see next time we go on 8/19) will be able to see, at least I am hoping so! I really think that it would be fun to be suprised and wait for the big reveal and it would be great to know now!!! Either way, just as long as our baby keeps growing and arrives safely - my dreams will come true!!In other news, I am doing better. Really not liking taking the extra progesterone. It is really giving me hot flashes and I am not able to hold my tongue - I try to express myself with kindness (not always working, ask my husband and mom).
____________
UPDATE:
The progesterone (V.S.) is miserable. I am apparently having a somewhat allergic reaction to the formula they used (the one I used for the past two nights is waxy) and when I talked to the nurse at PPVI she said she will fix it with the pharmacy. It is awful and the only reason I am sharing this is because I don't want someone to ever have to experience this. Last year I took some (Progesterone v.s.) from k.ubats and they were cap formula and yucky but a dream compared to this one I am taking now. Over the weekend, I took cap forms, just a lower dose and was fine. I was literally miserable yesterday and so far today. I will spare you all the details, but thankfully the nurse is right on it. I don't want to do anything to harm my baby, but this IS NOT WORKING for the Mama!!! Please pray that I will heal quickly from this and that the new formula is free or exchanged for the new meds and that they WORK perfectly for Mama and baby!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
What is going on??
Last night I was just a bundle of nerves. That is probably a huge understatement.
I ended up doing one more chore of changing the sheets on our bed and making it before my husband got home and I only did it to show productivity! Earlier in the day I had done all the grocery shopping at Wal.mart and Sa.ms put away all the groceries and repacked the meat in portion sized to put in the freezer - so I wonder if I overdid it in a short period of time. By the way, God is totally providing right now - we got an unexpected insurance check in the mail that paid for all the groceries and I was able to stockpile a bit with essentials like bread, milk, meat, etc. Also, Mac 'n cheese. I am not a fan of this at all, but the other day I made some because we had it in the pantry and I about fell in love! hahaha, totally not my typical self.
So anyway, my husband wanted to treat me out to a dinner last night. I could barely muster up the energy to leave the house. I had been looking foward to this all week, so I kept going despite my anxiety about my hormone levels. We headed to a favorite restaurant and it was too busy s0 we went to my favorite (mexican) and shared a meal. What a bargain and we were both stuffed. So after we leave, we have about a 35 minute car ride home. Once again, I was just so irritable about the long, bumpy ride. I kept feeling pulsations near my bottom and it was making me terrified. My husband already thinks I worry too much, but he could completely see the fear and worry on my face. We made it home and I immediately laid down and it slowed down, then he gave me a shot. I felt better and laid on the heating pad. I do wonder what is going on with shot on the right side, though. They just hurt! I then took all my nightly meds, and waiting as long as I could to do the suppository. My sleep was so disturbed. I woke up after two hours with some uncomfortable feelings in my belly really on the left side. It ended up relaxing and this morning I slept as long as I could to just remain laying flat!
I got on the computer last night before the shot to see what could have been causing those symptoms, I was determined that I would know what contractions (BH or otherwise) would feel like. It turns out that was not what I was feeling, according to Dr. Google, but I just don't know what is going on. If any of you have some ideas, please share. I can't keep living in fear. I have to embrace what God is doing in my life! Somehow it will all work out, even if I have to be on bedrest - this miracle will remain to be our biggest blessing!!!
I ended up doing one more chore of changing the sheets on our bed and making it before my husband got home and I only did it to show productivity! Earlier in the day I had done all the grocery shopping at Wal.mart and Sa.ms put away all the groceries and repacked the meat in portion sized to put in the freezer - so I wonder if I overdid it in a short period of time. By the way, God is totally providing right now - we got an unexpected insurance check in the mail that paid for all the groceries and I was able to stockpile a bit with essentials like bread, milk, meat, etc. Also, Mac 'n cheese. I am not a fan of this at all, but the other day I made some because we had it in the pantry and I about fell in love! hahaha, totally not my typical self.
So anyway, my husband wanted to treat me out to a dinner last night. I could barely muster up the energy to leave the house. I had been looking foward to this all week, so I kept going despite my anxiety about my hormone levels. We headed to a favorite restaurant and it was too busy s0 we went to my favorite (mexican) and shared a meal. What a bargain and we were both stuffed. So after we leave, we have about a 35 minute car ride home. Once again, I was just so irritable about the long, bumpy ride. I kept feeling pulsations near my bottom and it was making me terrified. My husband already thinks I worry too much, but he could completely see the fear and worry on my face. We made it home and I immediately laid down and it slowed down, then he gave me a shot. I felt better and laid on the heating pad. I do wonder what is going on with shot on the right side, though. They just hurt! I then took all my nightly meds, and waiting as long as I could to do the suppository. My sleep was so disturbed. I woke up after two hours with some uncomfortable feelings in my belly really on the left side. It ended up relaxing and this morning I slept as long as I could to just remain laying flat!
I got on the computer last night before the shot to see what could have been causing those symptoms, I was determined that I would know what contractions (BH or otherwise) would feel like. It turns out that was not what I was feeling, according to Dr. Google, but I just don't know what is going on. If any of you have some ideas, please share. I can't keep living in fear. I have to embrace what God is doing in my life! Somehow it will all work out, even if I have to be on bedrest - this miracle will remain to be our biggest blessing!!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Progesterone Worries
Over the weekend and all of this week I have just been feeling so drained. Drained to the point that I really do wonder if I will be able to care for our baby well. Maybe I am being a bit too hard on myself, but I am used to working full-time and doing all that I am doing now (most likely more). I went to bed last night with the laundry still in the dryer because I just couldn't do one more thing. Really sad.
That all being said, I really felt that my progesterone was dropping. The shot from last friday night did not go well, made a big lump and hurt alot. I don't usually have that kind of pain anymore with the shots, we have a great system that works! Every once in awhile, something seems to not be ideal for whatever reason. I tried to blame my fatigue on caring for a young teen all week and cooking up a storm to keep his belly full :) It just really did not go away. I pushed myself monday and then on tuesday and was just "DONE" by the time I got home . . . while I was driving I literally wanted to have a magic carpet that would drop me off at my door. Really fatigued. I slept so much the last two days, really sleeping in and/or taking naps. So I was really worried about my progesterone levels. I was supposed to start doing the draws every three weeks to save some money (per Dr. H's approval) but I really did not feel like waiting another week to see what was going on with my progesterone levels. Well, praise God, I went in and shipped out the blood on Tuesday and today I got the results. My level was 32.something! I was immediately filled with anxiety. Dr.'s recommended I add more progesterone, a vaginal suppository - 300 mg at bedtime. I am not opposed to taking the extra progesterone, Iwill do WHATEVER it takes to make sure this baby is thriving and arrives at the best possible time for their survival. See, you can see just how much anxiety is whirling around in my heart right now. The nurse asked me if I had been having cramps, etc. I did not think that I had, but looking back on it, I did but I thought it was bowel problems. Honestly, I did start to feel a bit better after the shot on Tuesday night. That shot went well and thank goodness I have been feeling the baby more, so that eases my heart.
I really just need to stay relaxed and trust that God is in control here and in control of the life of my precious baby.
So, I will add the extra progesterone this evening, continue the PIO, and keep taking the oral progesterone 2xdaily. I am so thankful that I have a team of specialists helping me keep an eye on this critical concern during this miracle pregnancy. I do wonder if it takes more progesterone support for women of my size. Is this a factor? I had gained about seven pounds and then now it is all gone. My weight is up and done all the time. I don't care - I just want my baby to be born healthy - I want to meet my baby and hold them close to my heart! Please God, keep your eyes on this baby of ours!
That all being said, I really felt that my progesterone was dropping. The shot from last friday night did not go well, made a big lump and hurt alot. I don't usually have that kind of pain anymore with the shots, we have a great system that works! Every once in awhile, something seems to not be ideal for whatever reason. I tried to blame my fatigue on caring for a young teen all week and cooking up a storm to keep his belly full :) It just really did not go away. I pushed myself monday and then on tuesday and was just "DONE" by the time I got home . . . while I was driving I literally wanted to have a magic carpet that would drop me off at my door. Really fatigued. I slept so much the last two days, really sleeping in and/or taking naps. So I was really worried about my progesterone levels. I was supposed to start doing the draws every three weeks to save some money (per Dr. H's approval) but I really did not feel like waiting another week to see what was going on with my progesterone levels. Well, praise God, I went in and shipped out the blood on Tuesday and today I got the results. My level was 32.something! I was immediately filled with anxiety. Dr.'s recommended I add more progesterone, a vaginal suppository - 300 mg at bedtime. I am not opposed to taking the extra progesterone, Iwill do WHATEVER it takes to make sure this baby is thriving and arrives at the best possible time for their survival. See, you can see just how much anxiety is whirling around in my heart right now. The nurse asked me if I had been having cramps, etc. I did not think that I had, but looking back on it, I did but I thought it was bowel problems. Honestly, I did start to feel a bit better after the shot on Tuesday night. That shot went well and thank goodness I have been feeling the baby more, so that eases my heart.
I really just need to stay relaxed and trust that God is in control here and in control of the life of my precious baby.
So, I will add the extra progesterone this evening, continue the PIO, and keep taking the oral progesterone 2xdaily. I am so thankful that I have a team of specialists helping me keep an eye on this critical concern during this miracle pregnancy. I do wonder if it takes more progesterone support for women of my size. Is this a factor? I had gained about seven pounds and then now it is all gone. My weight is up and done all the time. I don't care - I just want my baby to be born healthy - I want to meet my baby and hold them close to my heart! Please God, keep your eyes on this baby of ours!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Life these days
Life these days have been really relaxing.
I hate to say it, but I haven't gotten out of the house today and I spent quite a bit of time just laying around. I managed to do all the laundry, vaccuum the whole house, and cook dinner/cleaned the kitchen, but other than that - very little else.
I have been spending a great deal of time praying for my PB, reading, and just resting. I have been having a pretty good amount of back pain, but after laying down for awhile I feel better. I do have to admit that it makes the alarms go off in my head. Thankfully, it eases up after awhile.
On a fun note, yesterday my husband came in the door carrying the largest watermelon I have seen! It was too big to even fit in the fridge, so we cut and cubed it all up and it was the most delicious thing I have eaten in the last two days! He went out on a job and the gentleman gave it from his farm. Woo-hoo!!! I love watermelon and it is awesome, so sweet!
I am so glad that this baby is growing and thriving! I am praying everyday that this baby keeps doing so good! I am amazed that there is a baby in MY womb - after all of these years of desiring this miracle. I am still so thankful for this pregnancy, but I will admit that I want this for all of my friends who have traveled with me on this journey. I am still praying and offering up sacrifice for all couples dealing with the pain of IF or loss of a child in any way.
My energy level just plummets lately and just today I was wondering what the days ahead will look like. One day at a time - one step at a time, with God by my side.
I hate to say it, but I haven't gotten out of the house today and I spent quite a bit of time just laying around. I managed to do all the laundry, vaccuum the whole house, and cook dinner/cleaned the kitchen, but other than that - very little else.
I have been spending a great deal of time praying for my PB, reading, and just resting. I have been having a pretty good amount of back pain, but after laying down for awhile I feel better. I do have to admit that it makes the alarms go off in my head. Thankfully, it eases up after awhile.
On a fun note, yesterday my husband came in the door carrying the largest watermelon I have seen! It was too big to even fit in the fridge, so we cut and cubed it all up and it was the most delicious thing I have eaten in the last two days! He went out on a job and the gentleman gave it from his farm. Woo-hoo!!! I love watermelon and it is awesome, so sweet!
I am so glad that this baby is growing and thriving! I am praying everyday that this baby keeps doing so good! I am amazed that there is a baby in MY womb - after all of these years of desiring this miracle. I am still so thankful for this pregnancy, but I will admit that I want this for all of my friends who have traveled with me on this journey. I am still praying and offering up sacrifice for all couples dealing with the pain of IF or loss of a child in any way.
My energy level just plummets lately and just today I was wondering what the days ahead will look like. One day at a time - one step at a time, with God by my side.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Busy Bee
I have been away lately. I haven't been feeling so great, just stay worried about making sure my body is supporting this baby's life like it should.
We also had my 14 year old cousin over last week and weekend :) It is true what they say about having a teen boy in the house!!! He is awesome and we love him so much!!! Here are a few pictures from our time together! The last one is one with him in with the smallest catfish we have ever seen!! How's that for a great fishing story!!!
I am also so distraught in trying to find employment!! I have found some awesome part-time jobs and they are just not respoonding because I am either overqualified or they really sort of rule me out when I mention my pregnancy. I try to avoid mentioning it, but the other day a possible employer was so adament about why I was looking for p/t work, that I eventually mentioned it and I have not heard back from them AT ALL!! This was a huge blow to my fighting spirit to make all of this work. I did a happy dance when I was able to write out all the bills and realized that all of the ones that were due are now paid!!! We have been cutting corners, praise God!! It really isn't that bad, but I really feel so different in my vocation.
My vocation is evolving and while I am thrilled about that, it is an adjustment. I am not working outside of the home and this is the first time in my life that I am not out making a living. I always dreamed of this lifestyle, but I just desired it come in a different way. I am still utterly amazed that soon there will be a newborn to care for and my days are about to get even busier ;) I love it!!
Speaking of our miracle baby, I am so ready to meet this new baby!!! I will be able to see them again on the u/s on Aug 19!!!! I think that my husband is taking the whole day off so we can enjoy the day together!! I have been feeling the baby tumble all around and it does my heart so much good! I had a few days of wondering if my progesterone was dropping and I have been having a lot of back pain and stretching/round ligament pain. Last week I got a terrible headache that lasted about 24 hrs and today these is another one. I think it is all related to sinuses. I always feel so much better after laying down in the afternoon.
The last few days have been spent with family and while it is nice, it DRAINS all of my energy.
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