Mystery, Darkness, & God

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am so grateful for this opportunity to be pregnant, I just can't seem to wrap my mind around all of it. I used to think that I would be a confidient pregnant woman, a woman on a mission to getting things done. That hasn't been the case so much. I am finding that I am counting down the days until the next u/s. I really need to know that this baby is growing and in the right place. I don't know if I can wait until May 3rd.

I have been having the weirdest dreams. One was that I started spotting, when I woke up I went to check. Thank God there was not evidence of the dream being true. The other dreams are not meant to be remembered ;)

I finally realized today that pregnancy, just like IF and pregnancy loss, are complete mysteries just meant to be lived out. You will never know the answers to all of the questions you are asking, but the questions remain in your heart and you just have to live by faith.

I am learning that I am just going to have to trust God that he is doing good in the darkness. Just trusting God in all of the mystery of it all. I know that God will walk with me in all the directions he calls me to go.

As always, I am praying for all of you! Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers, they are a lifesource for me right now!