Dishwasher Drama

Joseph has learned to open the dishwasher. He then pulls out the top rack and uses it to pull himself up so he can climb on the door and act like the true monkey he is . . . that is when I am not pulling him off while he cries out heartbroken to me. It seems that he doesn't understand why I want to stop him when he is working so hard to terrorize my kitchen. He learned this new trick yesterday and about 30 times, I was able to keep him out of it. Today, however, he got away with a bit more as I was making tonight's supper. Whew! Good think we learned along time ago to keep the knives and forks out of there - they are hand-washed only these days!

Where I am . . .

I have been having some pretty great days lately, even though they are still so full of 'doing' that I just can't seem to have two free hands to write a blog post. Yet the last 36 hours a bad attitude has taken residence in my heart and I am just plain disappointed in some things. I sometimes wonder why I am making something out of nothing. Then I realize it is not nothing, not to me at least. I am living in a home of a very typical male as my husband who can be very caring, but not always aware of the consequences of his decisions on the every day routine of my normal life, two very typical teenage boys (no other adjectives would do this justice), and a very needy, trying to get two new teeth cranky little guy who gets weary of just me for all of his waking hours. Seriously, I need to get over myself! Yet, after doing 5 loads of laundry, shuffling teens to tutoring, baseball, and other places, making sure the house is tidy (clead, who am I kidding) and that all the mouths are fed . . . and putting a very sweet, not feeling so great little boy to bed - I am blogging because it is my only escape these days. After resuming my journal writing the other day, I felt great, whole, and blessed. I will continue to do that, and know that God is in all of this - the crumbs, the dirty toilet, the rolling wheels of my van. Oh and it is cd 6. Maybe there is a connection there, lol.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today was just beautiful. There were no roses or cards, but many people that I love! It was one of my best Valentine's Days ever and I feel so honored to share love with so many amazing people! I remember being lonely for so long, I don't take this time for granted at all! I was able to wake Joseph up with a great big smile and he smiled so much today. I really love this boy, and his Daddy, and his two big cousins that round out our family in very interesting ways!

Way of wounds

“You either transform your wounds, or you transmit your wounds,” Father Ubald

I am still alive . . .

Just after I wrote the post "Still 34!" I rolled over and went to sleep. For the next two hours, I tossed and then fell into a deep sleep only to wake up shortly after that to a very unhappy baby who was running a 102 fever. Poor babe! I got the fever down, but really never slept much after that. I whispered to him that I would love for him not to follow after me in getting sick on MY birthday, but even if he was going to be sick, it was the best birthday still being able to be his Mommy caring for HIM. So we spent the morning at the doctors and was told that he had a bad viral infection (thank you Chuck E. Cheese birthday party) and that we would just have to wait it out. He was not really coughing, having difficulty breathing, and there were no appetite changes except for his new thing of not wanting to accept the spoon from me too often so I did not stress myself out about it. I was the one really getting sick. Two days later, I could not stop coughing and sneezing, had a sore throat, etc. So my husband in his I can't have my wife sick woke me up early on Saturday morning and took me to the doctor (an Urgent Care place) and I got two very painful shots in my hips and two strong prescriptions. I think that it would have passed on its own, but with the baby, I can't expose him to too much junk! After the long wait and shots, I find my way back to the car, where Joseph, Jessy, Matthew, and Mitchell are so very desperate to see me! Turns out my husband said those two hours (I was only in there for 1 1/2 hours - haha - only) were the worst two hours of his life because Joseph was not consoled by any of them for a very long time and they drove in circles until I got out. So needless to say, my birthday week was not the most ideal. I will always remember it though. I did not get a cake, but at my own insistance, made my own sugar cookies to go along with our homemade hamburgers my husband made the day of my birthday and I got a really cool birthday gift - a toaster oven. I have been wanting one and I love it!!! I am trying so hard to phase out the darn microwave - ugh!!! I keep thinking that each small step I take in caring for our health will be one step closer to a healthy family! Now to only get rid of my coca-cola addiction!! I am still moaning the fact that I did not get a birthday cake. I keep thinking my husband will suprise me, but it has not happened. I know if I would have been well and got to go to lunch with my mom like we hoped to do, then there would have been a cake or something to celebrate, I need candles people! I did put a candle on my sugar cookie and it was a baby bottle candle, can anyone guess what I wished for as I blew it out? I know that I don't have a lot of readers anymore, but when do you give up the 'birthday cake'? Am I just being whiny? It is not so much about the cake, as the celebration, the love it takes to plan it, etc. I always make Jessy a birthday cake, always!! As well as for the boys and the truth of the matter is that no matter what age any of them are, they will always have a cake, either homemade or specially created by some other fabulous cook ;)

Never forgotten, always loved.

Never forgotten . . . Sam & Nicky - we still love you everyday, in every way! I just found this song and wanted to save and honor the lyrics! They just speak so softly to the heart who misses their babies. For all of you who have babies in heaven, I hope you know of their great treasure there! ________ Watermark \ Glory Baby Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby.. You were growing, what happened dear? You disappeared on us baby…baby.. Heaven will hold you before we do Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you… Until we’re home with you… Miss you everyday Miss you in every way But we know there’s a day when we will hold you We will hold you You’ll kiss our tears away When we’re home to stay Can’t wait for the day when we will see you We will see you But baby let sweet Jesus hold you ‘till mom and dad can hold you… You’ll just have heaven before we do You’ll just have heaven before we do Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting We are hurting But there is healing And we know we’re stronger people through the growing And in knowing- That all things work together for our good And God works His purposes just like He said He would… Just like He said He would… BRIDGE: I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know… ___________ Peace always!