Well, last night I finally got some signs that my cycle was ending and a new one would be starting very soon. While I wanted to kick and scream, whine, and just feel sorry for myself. . . I resorted to just whining! My husband was so kind and allowed me to just fuss it out and when I went to bed, I was able to finally sleep. I slept for nearly 11 hours. I started on my housework last night, so there is not much to do today! I started my Pontsel. It really helps ease the pain of the cramps. I know, I am probably just being wimpy, but I like to be able to function when a new cycle starts.
The nurse was right, I checked the dates on my chart and I did have a double peak and my period started 12 days after my peak. I guess this is what it should do. I really want to learn more now that I am having more functional cycles. The only thing I could think of was that at least, we can start fresh. For a few days there, I was fearful that all of the work of the surgeries had failed and my body was reverting back to it's old ways. It took a great amount of willpower to force those thoughts away. It is at this time every month that I get a little frustrated that my husband is not more open about adoption. It is just so hard, but I keep believing that God must be leading him to follow this way for a particular reason. As long as he is being led by God, I am at peace. I just think your heart can be open and big enough for both. I will continue to let God minister to him, if I try to, it just comes across as nagging.
So anyway, I get to start a new line on my charts, I get to use some red stickers, and hopefully I will soon be using some white baby stickers soon and then be bombarded with only green stickers! Hoping for the best! I am really believing that God has so much fun seeing me get so excited to his gifts. I am so blessed with a great husband, family, church, neighbors, friends, home, and job! I am going to focus on the positive. I guess, I won't be having a Sept baby this year, but an Oct., Nov., or Dec. one would be just as great!
cd 1 is always hard! I'm so glad your body is being cooperative though! that is a great sign, here's to a 2009 baby!
ReplyDeleteI'm soooo sorry. I had such high hopes for you, too. But maybe you can have an October baby with me :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that your body is doing much better and being more cooperative for you now. Sometimes I think trying to figure out my cycle and days of "possible" ovulation are like trying to crack the code to the U.S. mint. Keep the hope and dream close to your heart. It will happen and everything will work out for you. Sometimes that is all I need to hear and wish someone would tell me that. Unfortuantely when I get all frustrated, no one seems to be on the same level of understanding. You and your husband are in our prayers always. Thanks for your support, it means so much to me. :) Have a great evening and hang in there. I too just need to release this to God and let him take the wheel and guide me where I need to go next. Starting this whole process has become overwhelming at times, something I am sure you know about.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings,
Stacey :)