Expecting a Miracle - The Movie

Last night I watched a beautiful Hallmark movie called "Expecting a Miracle". In the beginning my husband was waiting for the bomb to drop in the movie . . . but I went into it not knowing what to expect. I did know however that it would have a good ending. All Hallmark movies have good endings. During the commercials, we had some very intense and eye-opening discussions. My husband LOVES tv and sometimes this is a way to bring new ideas around to him. One of our conversations led me to tell him he needed to read my post from earlier in the day, which he did. It allowed him to understand how I was feeling a little sad about why my body needs so much meds. To him, this a means to an end. I am trying to believe that too.
Anyway, if you can watch this movie, make a point to see it. It is still coming on the hallmark channel. There was so much truth to the movie and the full-fronted honesty of what it is like to not have great fertility.
I shared with J that I finally came to conclusion yesterday that if we have only one baby, I could honestly feel like that is enough (sorta a gift from my reading yesterday, since I have been adament about wanting at least 2 children) then I realized that I have been coming around to the realization that God wants me to find satisfaction in the way my life is at the moment. I need to be completely thankful that I am blessed with a holy man as my husband and a strong, sacramental marriage. That is blessing enough. I am having a very difficult time writing these words bc they are still so new to my heart. I just know that not having a baby is not going to kill me, my life can go on. On the side note, though dealing with insensitive people and seeing beautiful babies that go unloved might be the end of me. For me, I think that is where the battle lies. I don't know how to handle my emotions in these circumstances. I believe that God is going to bless me and Jessy with a pregnancy one day (hopefully soon) but I need to be at peace that I am getting better every day and rejoice in the life God has given me this day. No matter where God leads me, He will be right there with me, unless I walk away. I don't want to walk away from him. I believe that God will open my womb one day. It may be once. It may be many. I will choose to wait on the Lord and follow my doctor's orders.
J and I spoke last night about how God has allowed us to find and meet Dr. Hilgers for a reason and that all of these steps are ordained by God. Our path is not random, God has many blessings and a big purpose he is fulfilling.
I hope you all get to see the movie. If you already have, let me know what you think!