I am feeling so great today! Physically, that is. Emotionally, it has been a difficult day.
I finally have some needed energy and was able to make it a great day at work. I was able to get some big projects done and that was really empowering. I spent some time in adoration today for a few minutes in between my walks around the buildings at work. Time spent there always makes me more transparent to myself. The hard truths seem to unravel themselves. It is not always comfortable, but it is definitely necessary. After I finished my big projects, I took some time to just walk around the grounds and spent some time in front of the image of the "Dancing Jesus". I just looked deeply into his eyes and knew that I can't wait to really be able to dance with him in heaven one day. The weather was beautiful and sunny with just a slight chill in the air. While walking, a beautifully created spider web caught my attention. It was so small, but absolutely beautiful. I just admired it and all of the work that itsy, bitsy spider did to create it. I kept thinking that anything could wipe it out. A bird flying through the branches, a strong wind, a broken branch, or even someone who just did not want it there anymore. I made me think that we are all just as vulnerable. Anything can come along and change our surroundings, those things we have that make us feel safe. As humans, though, we have the ability to have a personal relationship with God and therefore the ability to not be shaken by the wind, the falling branches, or even something that flies straight at us and has the potential to destroy us and our hope. Because I have faith in God, all of this and more can happen and my joy should not be shaken. I don't need anything more in my life than the assurance that I am in God's favor. I am loved by God. I am His girl. I am really in need of a retreat. Because I work at a retreat center that I usually use as my retreat getaway, I haven't been on retreat for a very long time. I was told that I could get a free retreat, but I just feel really akward going on one where I work. I am not sure how restful it could be, but today I was assured that it could be just what I need right now.
I am just so excited to be feeling well and energized!
I had some times today that I really struggled with why I am having to wait so long to have a baby! I have never doubted that God could move mountains and knit a child in my womb (with J and I helping, of course). I just really struggle as to why he hasn't done it yet! Even as I write these words, I know I am being premature in feeling this way. My reproductive system has just been given total transformation, so I am basically just beginning this journey.
I realized that there was a great fear just below the surface and I needed to face it honestly.
When I honestly revealed it to God in spoken word and not just in my thoughts, the worries and fears seem so out of place in my vision of the Good God that I know, love and serve.
I hope that this momentum continues and that I allow God to continue to lead me on this journey of freedom in surrendering to his will.
Wow! What a powerful post today. So many times I found myself saying Amen as I was reading it. Thank for helping me to remember what truly matters and how you were able to give your fear to God. Praise God for your strength and energy today in completing what needed to be done. I like to feel good and I am glad that you were able to be in that emotion today. :)
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Yes, I do agree, a retreat sounds really good. Maybe you should consider it, because like you said, it may be just what you needed.
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Thank you so much for your continued support and beautiful words of comfort. :)
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Our thoughts and prayers travel with you daily. :)
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Hugs and blessings,
Stacey :)
Keep up the wonderful spirits! I love days when I feel good and energized. I think retreats are wonderful.....that is where I met my husband. We met on a young adult retreat through the Archdiocese of Chicago. We've since done a few retreat like events. Fr. Corapi came to the Chicagoland area so we rented a nice hotel room for the weekend and participated in going to his event. That was awesome. We also went on a marriage encounter weekend. That was okay but not what we expected. The retreat center was beautiful! We enjoyed the scenery. Anyway, we are looking to "retreat" again sometime soon. What do you do for the retreat center where you work? Just curious. God Bless.
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