Today

Today at work was incredibly hard.

I am having more difficulty at work and it came completely out of left field.

Not a good combination with all of my wild hormones!!

I will most likely be without a job or maternity care insurance.

I know that God will provide, He always has and he will continue to do so.

I prayed all day long that little bit's heart would just keep beating despite the unimaginable moments I kept encountering.

I ended up breaking down and telling the priest I work with that I was expecting and that was the reason I did not carry a table on friday to the room by myself and why I asked the maintenance guy to do it for me. Yes, that was one of the major complaints he had about me job performance - that I should have not asked for help in getting that table to the dining hall. I clearly told him the reason I did not carry the table was because I am taking all precautions to keep this baby alive!!!!!!!

The other complaint they had about me is that they think I am "tipping" staff off by text message or cell phone calls when their supervisor is planning to do random supervision on the other staff. The priest told me that the associate director thinks that I have been doing this for a long time. This is completely not true and never have I done that. Why would I? I told them it is ridiculous for me to have to defend myself on this. This lady is sick. Something is clearly wrong and the priest told me that she is not recommending that my contract be renewed for the next fiscal year.

I am planning to use as much of my accumulated time off (sick and vacation) to look for a new job.

I got to have spiritual direction today and she challenged me to look at this as a blessing. That God is in this too, not in the evil, but to just trust God.
She and my husband told me that they are just grasping for straws to find something wrong.
I will be trusting God.