One Year Ago

I was rushed to the hospital and had my family completely freaked out. We had no idea what was happening, but it turns out I was suffering from a ruptured tube due to my ectopic pregnancy.

All of those moments of fear, trembling, begging God to save the life of our child are still so vivid.

My husband is reminding me that this year we have a new baby to celebrate and while that is truly miraculous, my heart still hurts for the loss of our precious Nicky.

I was in the hospital for 4 days and on a breathing machine for two of those days because my body just couldn't remember to breathe. Looking back, it seems unbelievable that I am sitting at home, in no pain, with a new pregnancy and new hope. I constantly ask Nicky and Sam to pray for their new little brother or sister. I beleive they are praying ;)

During the e/r evaluation that day, when I was crying and could not stop my mom showed up and gave me a little something she already bought for her new grandbaby. I held onto that little bunny thoughout my hospital stay. I would cry the whole time I was there and when our parents would come I would cry even more, just pure weeping. I still keep this little bunny by my bed and I still find comfort in holding him during prayer time. Just a tangible reminder of where I have been, where I will be going one day and those two precious souls who are willing to wait to meet us one day in Heaven.

We love you, Nicky! We thank you for your intercession and we can't wait to meet your new sister or brother! Love, Mommy & Daddy