Monday, September 21, 2009

I've been shopping . . .

Baby showers. Two words that can break the IF girls’ heart into a million little pieces and for the girl who has no babies on earth shatter every bit of gumption they have managed to muster. But . . .. .this baby shower is different. Our parish is hosting a baby shower for our local crisis pregnancy center. I found out about it a month ago and I just knew this was a baby shower I would not be trying to find some excuse for in not attending. I have to admit, I went to a local store and knew that I could find some bargains on clearance. The center has mainly asked for summer outfits, so that made it easier to find things on clearance. I could have bought the whole 50% rack, if only money grew on trees. I called J when I got off work and learned that he was working on a job and would be a few hours late getting home, so I decided then that this was the time to shop. I made up my mind that this was my grand opportunity to buy sweet girl outfits. I am always dreaming in the baby section, especially smitten to all the infant girls things, so this was my chance. They will need boy and girl things, so since I am forever buying for little boys this trip would be for girly things!!! I am the only girl on my whole side of the family under 32! All boys were born after me, so we have only really known little boys. Nothing against little boys, I promise. Their things are cute, but little flowers and sweet butterflies really are fun and so endearing. So, Life in Mazes got out of her comfort zone and had some fun picking out little sweet, girly things. Add in a few diapers and a toy and the work was done. I did add a few things that I got from my SIL which cleaned months ago when I was expecting. All the things we bought for our baby, J and I agreed that we are going to act in faith and keep those things so that we may be able to use them for the one that we will nurture in our own home.

On a more realistic note, the moment I walked into the store to shop, the song “Held” by Natalie Grant came on and I nearly walked out of the store . . . those words of the song are so true to my heart. I do feel like my cycle is ending. I was feeling crampy today and I am only at p+10. Only time will tell. I did mess up my hcg injection last night and was so sore. Instead of getting better at all of these things, I feel like I am losing my way. This was supposed to be a happy post and I want it to stay that way, so I am getting off of the subject of me!!! Hope yall enjoy the pictures. Sweet J listened to all of my stories of how adoption presented itself to me this weekend and he tried to get me to see it from the perspective of maybe I am getting better and will be able to carry our baby myself in my womb. Who knows, only God does, but here is the sweet part . . . the lady who will be receiving the gifts for the shower is the director of the crisis pregnancy center and they sometimes help women they minister to to place their babies with couples who are prepared for adoption placement. J said maybe you will make some connections at the meeting. I did not have the heart to tell him that we have to do a homestudy first bud. I think he is really holding out on the next few cycles working for us and I got a strong feeling today that maybe my baby is snugly in the womb of some woman right now. Where these thoughts come from, I don’t know, but I have to trust that maybe God is sending them to me to keep me hopeful!
Enjoy the pictures!



2 comments:

  1. That's great that you are doing that for the crisis pregnancy center and the mothers who come in. I really hope that your time comes soon. Praying for you as always.

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  2. Those outfits are darling!!!!! So very beautiful! I wish I could have gone with you!

    I really understand your DH perspective...But I really connect with wanting to get the show on the road. :) hahaha Hence the gift of my IF, I'm so impatient. :)

    Without the cross, there is no resurrection.....Dang, it's hard.

    xxoo love you!

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