I must say that today was a pretty good day. I am on cd 4 and the symptoms are slacking off a little. I am used to having about 54 red stickers in a row, I would literally run out of red stickers and have to order more or get creative and make my own red stickers. I had terribly irregular cycles and for the last 2 cycles, I have only had to use about seven red stickers and my charts are actually resembling that of a somewhat normal person. I think when Dr. Hilgers looked at my chart, he had such pity for me. I have not ever found another person who shared my particular problems with my cycles, but I have found others who did have the same diagnosis as I was given. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and I am ever grateful that God allowed me to find someone who was willing to help me. I remember that my Creighton Instructor was so shocked, although she did try to hide her reaction, that she was even more determined to help me.
On a sidenote, I have really severe cramps, so Dr. Hilgers prescribed Pontsel (steroid) to help relieve these symptoms. The great thing is that it really helps me function and feel well enough to go to work at the beginning of my cycle, it makes me stay hungry and I am not so great at deflecting hunger, so I gain weight at this time. It tends to always disappear, but it just makes me feel like such a yo-yo. I have lost nearly 30 lbs. since March and I want to lose alot more, so I hope that happens soon.
By the way, I found out today that the little girl we were praying for to have a new adoptive family was adopted (or in the beginning stages of adoption). I am so HAPPY! I realized that it was a breakthrough for me that I even thought to fully surrender this little girl into God's hands and prayed for her well being and not my own. I reflected on this on my way home this afternoon and wondered why this seemed to be a natural thing for me to do and it was because I realized that she was never mine. Not mine to keep. I then realized that the child I miscarried and the one I really wanted to adopt in 2007 were never mine to keep either. I like to believe that when I am blessed with children, I will remember that they are GOD'S CHILDREN. He has just given DH and I the great responsiblity of loving them as He would love them and teach them and form them in the ways of God. Our greatest responsiblity will be to help them love and serve God and find all of their hope in HIM. This was a great revelation for me. God is so good to me!
wow, i finally understand what happened and i am an IDIOT apparently.
ReplyDeleteso glad you are feeling better about things. trying to conceive and waiting for children in general is so not fun and can be so stressful. i pray your blessing comes sooner than later.
Thanks for the reminder about all children being God's children. I was just talking to Lifehopes about that the other day actually, about how one way to feel better about adoption (since I am still having some issues with that) is to realize that even our biological children are not ours, so to speak. Adopted, biological, whatever..they are in our care for a temporary time but ultimately they belong to God.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank God for Dr. Hilgers, Creighton and NaPro, right? What a God-send they are, and we are all so blessed to have found them. I hope and pray that all your issues are ironed out soon, and the yo-yo'ing either stops, or that you get pregnant! Then all the craziness will be worth it!