30th day!!!!

I have to honestly say that I am pretty thankful this series is going to be done tonight! It was fun counting my blessings, but somedays I just was too tired to blog! Plus I know whatever readers were left, I pretty much wore them out with my sentiments thankfulness!

All of that aside, after tidying up the living room and kitchen for the 10th time today, I remind myself that I wanted this, begged God for this, and would not want my old life back! I have moments when I completely desire the ability to go potty alone, but one day that opportunity will come again but until then, I choose thankful!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A winter hat!

 

Joseph received a gift from his great-aunt Melodie (Matthew & Mitchell’s Mom) last weekend and while it is extremely adorable, he cannot stand to wear anything on his head!  Silly kid!  So glad I was able to sneak in two pictures before he knew just how much he really disliked having it on his head It did come with some fine mittens and he was quite smitten with them!

Day 29: 30 days of thanksgiving

Tonight I am grateful for tragedy being defeated! Last
night Joseph, Jessy, and I were in the living room before bedtime (Joseph was up later than usual because he took a random late afternoon nap) when we began to smell something burning, it almost smelled like an electrical fire of the toaster. I always unplug the toaster when it is not in use, so that wasn't it. I was busy keeping Joseph away while Jessy checked out our bedroom and bathroom, upon opening the bedroom door we could definitely smell something burning. It turned out to be our fan and it was very scary! Jessy unplugged it and we removed it right away! No damage to the rest of the house surfaced, but it took a good while to clear the air so we could go to bed. O, thank you God!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 28: 30 days of thankfulness

Tonight I am thankful that sweet Henry will always know that he was loved! Please pray with me for Henry's family as they mourn the loss of their son and brother.
No words can explain how this boy and his purpose has changed the souls of many.
Learn more about their beautiful family at bringinghenryhome.blogspot.com


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 27: 30 days of thanksgiving

It's the simple things, like cooking a healthy supper, washing a few loads of dishes, and vacuuming while trying to entertain a toddler, that make me thankful that I have someone to laugh with or cry with when the rest of the family is away at work or school. I am also super grateful for my new flannel sheets :).

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 26: 30 days of thankfulness

I am thankful that it is the little things that make my family happy! Most of our Christmas decorations are in a storage building so I keep finding some of the things we still have around here to use to brighten up our home. Yesterday it was some simple window clings for the storm door. Joseph loved helping to put the snowmen, reindeer, and stockings on the glass and it was enough to keep him entertained for a bit! Today I pulled out some of our garland (made of mini mittens & sweaters) and put them around the door frames in the kitchen! He was so excited and kept calling them his "mitts"! I am happy tonight and for that I am extremely grateful!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 25: 30 days of thanksgiving

I am thankful for Joseph's growing vocabulary! He chatters a lot but only a small amount is understood by one of us! Today we were visiting his uncle DJ and as I was telling him to bring me something he should've been playing with he brought it to me quickly and as I said "thank you" he nonchalantly said "you welcome". It was a first for but Jessy said he did that the other day!
He is now beginning to ask for his favorite foods by name, pizza (pizza-pizza, pizza-pie) and cookie (which he clearly learned from Copkie Monster from the song "c is for cookie".
He started a few days ago putting to signs together and saying a few two word utterances, primarily "more please". I think he is going through a big transition/ growth development because he is somewhat irritable at times and completing falling apart at other times. I think that "2" is going to be a very dramatic year! Good thing he is cute!

Day 24: 30 days of thanksgiving

Today I am grateful for free family activities! We took the family to a free trip at our local airport (Chennault air base) to see rare old fighter planes, special helicopters, and antique cars! Really sounds strange but everyone loved it! Since we did not have to pay for admission and they provided free drinks, we were able to splurge on getting the big boys ice cream, boudin, and gumbo! Jessy and I shared an awesome funnel cake with Joseph! Great day spent outside in beautiful weather, so thankful!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 23: 30 days of thanksgiving

I am thankful for happy boys! Jessy took the big boys to the woods to deer hunt today! Joseph and I hung out and then looked at Christmas lights! Fun times for us all and the best part was seeing the joy in each of their faces as they shared their stories from their day! These are the boys I remember! Joseph looked liked he was given big box of chocolates when they all walked in the door, lots of love shared here today!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 23: 30 days of thanksgiving

 

I am thankful for a heart that is filled with peace tonight.  I looked at this picture and reminded that the strong waters just soften my edges,  praise God!

Day 21: 30 day of thanksgiving

I am so grateful for amazing friends, old memories that make us laugh like crazy, and just knowing that when they make it all the way from Idaho back to Louisiana it is like nothing has ever changed! We sure do love the Courville family! We are truly blessed to be able to call you friends!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 20: 30 days of thankfulness

I am very grateful for my ability to hold my tongue (sometimes I fail miserably). I am so thankful that I have learned that nothing good comes from being sarcastic, pompous, or plain rude in my conversations and responses to people who choose to be unkind! There are times when I mess up, but today it occurred to me that many hurt feelings have been avoided by me trying to imitate St Therese and her little way. I am grateful that I know when to just let the other person stew in their ugliness and be able to avoid falling into their stirring pot! Sometimes, I jump right on in - what a waste! I just really believe that kind words find a welcoming ear and mean words come from a troubled heart.

I have been finding myself wanting to lash out at others about some things that mean a lot to me, but hopefully by letting God tend to it, all will work its way out in His time.

God, bless my hurting family, I am thankful you are there for us! Amen.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 19: 30 days of thanksgiving

Today I am so thankful to have a warm, soft bed to sleep in and a freezer and pantry filled with food to keep my family fed! Running water and electricity are very popular on my thankful list too!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 18: 30 days of thanksgiving

I was really shocked after I woke up from a 2 hour nap today! Not only was it the best nap I can remember in so long, but was a deep and restful snooze and Joseph slept right beside me!
I was telling Jessy that this was the best Sunday I have had nearly 2 years! Last night Joseph slept 13 hours straight which gave me plenty if time to visit my husband, blog, and sleep for more than 5 hours! We woke up to a super happy boy with just a just a few minutes to get everyone ready for mass! We all made to church, we all stayed for the duration of mass (Joseph is showing good progress in regard to behavior in mass), went grocery shopping, got gas, filled our bellies and still had plenty of time to rest and nap before going to visit family. A perfect Sunday, I am so thankful!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 17: 30 Days of Thanksgiving

 

Today as I was trying to discipline myself to write this post, I came across this picture.  Those of you who know about how to chart using the Creighton Model, you can clearly see how sick I was back in 2007/2008!  I started charting in 2007 when God decided to put in on a special lady’s heart to make the time to teach me the method.  I had really only known her for professional reasons but she did know a bit about how much I wanted to have children and she told me that when she was in prayer, God asked her to make the time to teach me the method even when her life was a whirlwind!  She was obedient and even though it took time, my heart will forever be thankful!

With her help and the help from PPVI along with Dr. Hilgers, my cycles improved, I began to have periods of fertility (HOORAY) and we were able to conceive two miracles with their assistance.  So thankful for restored health and babies that we can love forever, one here on earth with us and one more in heaven enjoy the presence of God with their older brother/sister!

Day 16: 30 days of thanksgiving

Today I was beyond thankful for naptime!
I love my little boy but sometimes his ability to rest and recharge is the only this momma can rest!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 15: 30 days of thankfulness

I am thankful today that I have a husband who listens to my worries! I was near tears this morning feeling like the whole world was against me and one conversation with him and one good cleaning if the fridge later, I found my coping skills again!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 14: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

I am thankful for cousins!  Joseph has two awesome boy cousins and one sweet girl cousin!  He is just getting to the fun age of being able to play a big with them and he sure does adore it!!!

Being an only child I love having two awesome nephews and a super sweet niece!  They have always brightened up our days and are the icing on the cake for family celebrations!!

Day 13: 30 Days of Thankfulness

Today (and everyday) I am grateful for that glorious moment when I see the headlights coming up the driveway and I can tell Joseph "lets go to the door and see who us home!" Definitely the highlight of our day! Even the big boys get cranky when daddy works late!
By the way, what is it about that last hour before your husband comes home and the kids look like they are falling apart at the seams?? Tonight we changed 5 poopy diapers in about 30 minutes! So glad that after the 5th one he was good and so much happier! After that he ate half of my bowl of chicken & sausage gumbo! Love this family and how they eat up all my meals! Must be starving boys or something, not all my cooking is awesome!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 12: 30 days of thankfulness

Today I am grateful that my job is at home. I sometimes forget about the sacredness of the call to be a stay at home momma, it feels very isolating at times and your sacrifices very forgetful to the ones you love the most. Yet today when I woke up to a coughing,congested baby I was so grateful that I would be the one to be there for him when he looked confused about why he felt so out of sorts!
I am grateful that I did not have to call a disgruntled boss and ask for the day off to take care of my child. I am very grateful for my husband who works hard to allow for me robe there for our boys.
No stage or role in life is easy but this one has the most rewards!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 11: 30 days of thankfulness

I am utterly exhausted, but I am here to write that I am thankful for kind neighbors and the four new tires on my van.
Last night, Jessy, Joseph, and I were going to run to town for a few errands and return home quickly but we only made a short distance before we found ourselves trying to figure out all the new warning signal lights that were coming on! We pulled our and consulted the Manuel only to discover it said we were low in our tire pressure, we checked the time and thought we had enough to get to a station to air it up some because I also needed gas. We make it 1/4 of a mile and we have a full flat on the right side in the front. Thankfully there was a old abandoned driveway on the country highway but it was pitch black - absolutely no street lights. We got out our tools that come with the van to get the spare out and the tool from the dealership is the wrong size so were stuck! No roadside assistance that I could future out, we were supposed to have one with the dealership but I did not have the number. Way to be prepared, right! Thankfully, Joseph was super calm and there was a good breeze in the air and so the Mosquitos were not out. We ended up having to call our neighbors and friends and we were so grateful for them coming I bring Joseph and I home and to let Jessy get the rift tools and then stay there with him while he changed the tire. It wasn't so much the quick way they accepted our plea for help, but their cheerfulness in helping us! It really reminded me of how God desires all of us to be cheerful I give of ourselves to others and to him! This encounter really inspired me and challenged me to be more generous with my time, talent, and treasure!
Well, now we have four awesome new tires and for that I am super grateful too!!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 10: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

Today I am thankful for my sweet godson, G! 

He is a truly funny boy and were so honored to be asked to be his godparents!  He always melts my heart and has some fabulous way to make you laugh out loud every single time you see him!

His blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes are endearing, but is his personality that will make you feel like you have met the coolest kid in the world when you are in his presence!  I love how he is all boy and nothing can change that!  I wish we got to spend more time with him and that he and his family did not live so far away, but that just makes our time together so much more special.

I remember seeing his Momma and Daddy at the hospital before he was born.  I remember it was the most calm I had ever been in a delivery room as and IF girl for 8 whole years.  I just could see myself there one day, ready to meet my own child one day soon.  I had my surgery with Dr. Hilgers less than one month after G’s birth and we were so filled with hope that one day little G would be playing with our own child! 

On the day he was born, Jessy and I were at the hospital, praying in the waiting room.  By far, this was the most difficult pregnancy my friend had and it took awhile but we knew our role was to pray this child to a healthy, safe birth!  I will never forget holding him for the first time in moments after his birth!  A truly unforgettable moment for us!  Sweet G, you will be forever loved by us!  We are so grateful to be able to be a part of your life and to love you!

Day 9: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

You know, I have been thinking about the older boys so much and what it is that I carry in my heart for them.  No matter what, I am thankful for them.  But it takes a picture like this one to make me realize that what my heart is learning is so much bigger than myself.  I could not believe how far they have come.  I was looking for one of my earliest digital photographs of the boys to capture the love I remember that overflowed immensely and was struck by their expressions, their clothing, to sadness in their faces.  I think there is more to this picture than just not wanting to take a picture. 

This week it hit me like a ton of brick, these boys have always been mine.  I remember when my aunt was pregnant with Matthew, I was thrilled.  His parents experienced infertility and one loss before he arrived and he was a long-awaited gift.  I was just in my second year at the university, but I would stop by just to be in my Aunt’s presence as she was pregnant with him, similar to Mother Mary’s visit to Elizabeth.  My aunt was excited but never really understood my connection to this child I have never met.  I loved him for the moment he was just a little whisper of God’s promise.  He came amid shouts of joy and was the center of his parents world.  Our whole family adored him. 

Just barely six months later, my Aunt found herself pregnant again and there was quite the little baby boom in October of that year that was due to the big blessing of a IceStorm that January.  Even with Mitchell, I felt the same kind of connection with him, I loved him from the moment we knew of his existence.  Their family was very busy for awhile while they learned to have a newborn and 15 month old at the same time.  I saw less of them for awhile.  Yet, in 1999, we were given a significant role in caring for both both boys when their father became very ill.  Jessy I started dating in Jauary of that year, my Uncle Greg got sick that August and died a few weeks later.  Jessy helped me a lot with them when they were toddlers and my friends in college always laughed at me because I always had two carseats in my car from that time on.

Mitchell was barely two and Matthew just turned three when we held them tight at Our Lady Queen of Heaven for their Daddy’s funeral.  I still never thought we would be the ones to raise this boys.  In the years that followed, the boys were sometimes with us, with their grandparents, and their aunts and uncles while their Mom tried to learn to handle the grief of becoming a widow in her early 30’s and learning to be a single parent.  I really think that she tried her best but her body was weak, her spirit tired, and her choices reflected that she was just worn-out and exhausted.  Raising boys is hard, raising boys with ADHD and other behavior concerns can wipe someone’s spirit quick.  My aunt was never in the best of health and she quickly declined when she battled breast cancer, severe heart conditions that led to strokes, and mental health issues.

So as I have been battling to choose to love these children because these days it just doesn’t come automatically I needed to be able to pull up those deep feelings of love that I have always had for them.  We find ourselves able to get along well with Matthew, the older one, but the younger one is deeply resentful and as I spoke with the counselor yesterday this is just going to be the best that he can give us right now.  I am trying so hard to build relationship with them and thankfully one is responding to that.  We are just going to have to still love Mitchell, just like we always have but we have to not let him know that his ways of shutting us out are bothering us.  The counselor seems to think that since he knows it bothers us, that is the only way he is feeling he has some power in the situation of not living with his Momma anymore.  We did not take them away, we took them in.  There is a HUGE difference there.  This realization is helpful for me when I am going crazy with an extremely moody toddler, a moody teenager, and my own emotions feel wacky because of my hormones. 

So today I am thankful we can see the incredible difference from these boys (above) to these boys (below)!

Is it just me or do these boys seem as difference as night and day from before?

You know some people tell me we must be doing a good job with these boys and I know that they mean well, but I truly can think of a million ways I can better show them love, show them a servant's heart, exemplify Christ.

Day 8: 30 Days of Thankfulness

I am thankful for many things today, but my top two are the fact that Joseph has a father, one who loves him enough to make the choice to be there for him. I am also extremely grateful that I can whisper to my husband please say a prayer for me and I can trust that he does that!
When the days are hard and long, it helps to know that someone is bringing you to the throne of God!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Kind advice requested

I am asking for kind advice on ways to help Joseph effectively learn not to use his limbs to kick or slap when he doesn't get what he wants and when he wants it. We have done the removing him from the situation, room, holding his hands, telling him we don't hit, etc. I need fool proof ways to help improve his behavior, he will listen when I tell him to go to his time away area, but he is not getting the lesson yet. Is this a stage? It multiplies after getting in and out of carseat a few times too.

Be kind to my worn out heart, I don't need to hear I screwed up being his Momma!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 7: 30 Days of Thankfulness

I have been thinking a lot about the unborn and find myself thanking God for his deep, abiding love for me and my family.  He cares for not only the ones I see everyday, but for the ones I miss the most, Sam & Nicky.

Sam would be 11 years old this year (due date would have been in May of 2000).  I had a sweet encounter with a little girl named Malorie who is very special to my heart and she likes to talk about the babies we have in heaven.  She remembers, she loves them, and she fervently believes that our two babies in heaven were little girls.  She believes that Sam’s name is Angel.  No amount of telling her we did not get to know if she was a boy or girl changed her mind, Angel Sam was a little girl.  This comforts my maternal heart, especially as I am surrounded by boys!  Nicky is our little one we lost in a very tragic way in May of 2009.  Malorie also thinks this little one is a girl.  Either way, I cannot wait to meet these two precious children in heaven one day. 

A picture of me & my Ancy Barbara in 2009, celebrating Mother’s Day at our home – these and the following three pictures are the only ones I have of me when I was pregnant with Nicky.

My Mom & I.

Celebrating new life!

Our Lady of Guadalupe & St. Gerard, helping me celebrate the new growing baby! 

When I look at Joseph (especially in those early weeks following his miraculous birth) I was very sorrowful because I finally had a face to imagine what the other two children would have looked like.  Thankfully, the sorrow lessened at I embraced being thankful for all three of my children.  No matter what comes my way, I have to always teach the children in my home to love the unborn, to protect them, and to never forget them. 

Dragonflies are my reminders of my Nicky and they will always be a reminder of hope for me!

I am a simple woman who desires to transmit the  legacy of life-giving love to others.  No child is deserved, each child is a gift.  Even the ones we long to still meet.  So grateful God has allowed me to nurture nurture new life with my body three times.

Abba Father, thank you for making me female, I am thankful to be your daughter.  Amen.

In a very special way, both Sam & Nicky prepared a way for Joseph!  Thanks be to God!

A voice of one calling: "In the desert prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God.

  Is 40:3

Day 6: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

Today I am thankful for my best friend, Michelle.  We met in 1996 at the Catholic Student Center and MSU and have been best friends ever since!  She and I have been the ones we vent to, cry to, and celebrate with when life throws us some of the wackiest things and the most sorrowful moments.

I am so thankful she is Joseph’s ‘Nanny Chelle’ and we just are thankful for her presence in our lives.  She is a no nonsense, gonna be there for you when no one else will be there for you kind of friend.  She has committed her life to her family and she is an amazing daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.  She is in deep sadness right now and we are lifting her and her family in our prayers tonight as they grieve the loss of a wonderful mother and friend.  She was very much like her mother, Mary Maxine, committed, honorable, caring, and generous. 

God really smiled on me when he allowed our friendship to grow! 

Here we are at my much anticipated baby shower that she and my other friends planned for us.  Pictured here is Michelle, Carrie, and Kim.  My friend, Maria, is the one who captured this great picture!

My goodness, we were so young here!!!!

Fun times with the girls at LCCS.  Michelle, Kim, Wendy, and I .

At a slumber party for my 20th birthday!!!  Who has a slumber party at 20th, this girl does!  It was fun and these are the best friends a girl could have asked for in all the world.

We hopped a train What were we thinking??

Pictures in the cottonfield when we pulled off the side of the road during a road trip!  “Marge, those cotton-pickin’ kids are back!!!”  We love that line, Michelle.

Please join me prayer as we keep her and her family close in our heart following the death of her wonderful Mom!  She will need those extra prayers in the days, months, and years ahead.

Day 5: 30 Days of Thankfulness

Tonight I am extremely thankful for my bed, Ad.vil, and quiet.
Just returned from an event at the school called 'fall fest'! I have a few other names rolling around in my head that would better deceiving the insanity of the so-called fest! Jessy and I were beyond speechless and the boys (older ones) thought it was awesome. Joseph was a good sport until the last 15 minutes, a miracle! See, case in point I am getting to be too old, but gosh this quiet room and soft bed really are an answer to this tired momma's prayers!!!
Election Day tomorrow and that has me anxious!!
God be with us all, tonight and tomorrow.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 4: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

Today I am thankful for our church, our faithful community, and the Catholic faith.

I have been a bit determined to get Joseph to Holy Mass as much as I can lately and I think it is beginning to pay off in such eternal ways.  He is still a very busy boy with seemingly ants in his pants, I still am grateful to hear one nugget of truth in the mass to encourage me for the days ahead, and we are slowly making our presence known – in hopefully a good way.

Jessy takes the older boys to the early mass because they are all early risers and so it is just Joseph and I for the second mass and this somehow helps him be less busy and more content to sit quietly in church. 

He astonishes me with how well he is picking up on the faith, I swear it is those baptismal graces coming in to play.  He knows how to show reverence before the cross and the altar, acknowledges the images of St. Joseph, Mother Mary, and our Patron Saint, St. John Vianney. 

Today, in all of this distractedness, he instinctively knew to look at the altar when the consecration was unfolding, it took my breath away that he reminded me of the real sacrifice happening at that exact moment.

And more than anything, I am thankful that he waited all through mass for “Peace” time.  He just learned the joy of that this week at the All Saints Feast day mass.   So he has been giving peace to others with great joy!  He got rather upset when we finished the Our Father though, because he kept signing “MORE” and was mad when we did not continue it as he wished.

He also decided to kiss each pane of the stained glass we were sitting next too.  He did it reverently, too!  So funny!

Day 3: 30 days of Thanksgiving

 

Today, in a much lighter note, I am thankful for Sesame Street and the wonderful family time we spent enjoying the show today with our wonderful friends Laurie, Lonnie & Zaleigh.

Joseph would have been content just to adore the big truck with his favorite monsters on it!

Here he is adoring the truck!

Grouch!!!

Besides Elmo, Grover can always make Joseph smile!  There was this Play.z0ne area where the kids could play before the show, yeah, pure craziness!!!!!!

Daddy & Big Bird!  Big Bird is a HIT with Joseph!!

 

I am not sure who loves Bert & Ernie more, Joseph or I?  It was so much fun to watch Joseph see his favorite monster friends come to life right before his eyes!  He likes the characters for our for seats on the floor (we had amazing seats, thanks to Daddy-o in row G!) but when Bert came to try to meet him Joseph was scared and cried for awhile.  He did fine throughout the show, as long as he did not notice the characters that came down the aisle next to him! 

Bert & Ernie told us about the letter of the day and it just happened to be Joseph’s favorite letter!!

Yeah for J!!!!!  Go Joseph!!!!

This crew really knows how to party!  So grateful we could spend the morning with them!  Jessy & I jokingly to each other that this trip to Lafayette to see the furry monsters was Joseph’s Disney trip!!!

Utter amazement!

Joseph’s god-sister   Sweet Zaleigh and his Godfather, Uncle Lonnie!  We love this little girl in a big way!!

At the end Joseph was dancing in the aisles!!!  Sweet, wholesome fun!

JOY!!!!!!!!!!!

Fun times with Aunt Laurie & Uncle Lonnie & Sweet Zaleigh!

Our one and only family shot!!  I love Joseph’s happy smile!!!

Love, love, love these two!  I am also so very thankful that I was able to hold the little one on my lap for awhile and got to hold Jessy’s hand!  I miss holding my husband’s hand.  Writing that down reminded me how the priest that officiated our wedding proclaimed our wedding day as the “Feast of Holy Hands” because he always noticed and remembered how we always held hands and honored that!  Somehow, I sometimes forget to just hold his hand and I love the feel of my hand in his, it really is the simple things, folks.