Thankful

Oh how I love this boy!!!



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Dear Joseph

Dear Joseph,
Today was a big day for us, we had a fantastic day being together and while we shared love and laughter I watched you closely, wanting to remember everything about these wonderful days I share with you! Just last night we talked about having to wait for our prayers to be answered and you are the biggest answered prayer we have ever experienced and we love the miracle that you are in our lives!
When I watch you running and playing I sit in wonder as to how God could create so much goodness in one little body! You are kind, generous, gentle, and loving! You love to make others laugh and you love to dance in the most fantastic side to side jiggle motion! You are also a little head banger as you listen to fun songs with awesome beats! Speaking of music, you have a discerning ear for good music and once you find one you love, we listen to it for hours! A new favorite for you is "I am new" by Jason Gray and "c is for cookie!" You are such a funny eater but the last few days you have been eating more and eating healthy foods and this makes me so happy! I loved watching you eat your blueberries, enjoying every bite and asking for "more"!
Your vocabulary is explosive these days and I love to listen to you sweet little voice! Your favorite new word is "up"! You are starting I put together a few short phrases and I am secretly thrilled to learn more about your wants, needs, and likes! You are such a gift!
You love to go bye-bye! You are very modest and love to be dressed and very seldom walk around in just your diaper and t-shirt when it is just the two of us at home during the day! Other times I am having to wrestle you after your bath and lotion into a diaper and pj's! It is quite a challenge to dress you these days, you are very particular about fabrics and throw impressive dramatic tantrums when I try to put a long sleeved shirt or hoodie on you! It is sad that your are so discontent. In winter clothing!
You are just getting over a yucky cold and you are learning to potty in the toilet, whew you are a busy boy!
As you get close to celebrating your second birthday in a few hours, know that you don't even look lik a 2 year old, you are the size of a 4 year old! You are measuring in at 36.5 inches and 33.8 pounds!
One last thing, you have given up your pipe (the pacifier) and have started to like more books and you want me to sing to you every night until your eyes shut! Current fave: "Jesus, Jesus" and "Santa Claus is coming to town!"
Tomorrow when you wake up you will be 2! You are the best answered prayer - all-ways!
I will love you for ever!
Love, mommy
P.S. Daddy loved you more than words can even describe too! You are his favorite little man and you bring him joy all-ways!
P.P.S.- please stop mistreating Daisy, she is to nice to bite or scratch you and she really is not fond of wrestling with you! She likes it when you give her kisses and pet her gently!! Xoxoxo

Other plans . . .

Today started off in the right way, AMTTBAM offered to pray for our intentions in Mexico City before the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. I asked her to pray for the conversion of MG's heart, Jessy, Joseph, and our family's special intention along with the intentions of my prayer buddy. I was so thankful for this all day. Joseph was still coughing and feeling rotten but we got out to get his medicine, get a few Christmas gifts, and grab him is favorite chicken strips from chic fil a. We also did a bit of grocery shopping for his birthday party and by the time this was all done, it was time to head head home for the bigger boys. Joseph and I got home, unloaded, did a few things and headed back to town because I forgot to go to the church to see the cassock of Blessed John Paul. I was determined to not let anything get in my way of doing something spiritually enriching for myself! Stubborn old me!!
Well, I loaded all the boys in the van and we drove all the way back to town to go visit the church were the cassock was being venerated. Well after wrestling Joseph into a hoodie, we walk in as calmly as possible and see a life size image of Our Lady of Guadalupe and probably a thousand red roses everywhere! It was astonishing! The church was empty except for two other souls, so we just sat at her feet and prayed (to the best of my ability while desperately trying to keep Joseph at a respectable level of quiet). We could not figure out where the cassock of Blessed John Paul was at, I tried to discreetly look, but I told myself it is here in this building and despite the fact that we are here at the right time, we will surely receive the graces of being in its presence! After we said our prayers and I realized there was no keeping Joseph quiet, we made our way to the back of the church where I looked in the bulletin to see where the cassock was supposed to be located but there was mention of it! I was really beside myself at this point! The bishop was celebrating mass at that church in one hour but I couldn't keep Joseph awake that long, I knew so I surrendered and drove all the way home!
Upon getting I the car I realized God had a tremendous purpose for bringing there and He wanted us right where we were, at our Blessed Mother's feet! Jesus knows we all needed some maternal love tonight!
I just really think the beginning of my day and the end of my day were planned by my loving father in Heaven! So I will always remember that the feast of our lady of Guadalupe is always a day of tremendous spiritual enlightenment for me. I remember just kneeling in prayer trying to collect my thoughts and the only thing I remember begging God for was Him to sanctify these three boys! I never use that word and so I felt like I was really not praying authentically despite the huge effort I made to make it to church! Yet I realized the Holy Spirit was speaking those words for me and when I looked up the meaning of that word I realized that was my plea.

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This is just now getting posted but was drafted on 12/12/12.

December and January have been very difficult months for our family due to some issues that needs a miracle. I miss blogging and need to update my Christmas pats for memory sake!
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A request with update

The day got much better after I summoned (shamelessly) all of your prayers, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Joseph was miserable today, due to lingering cough/allergies and the medicine the doctor gave him reminded me of his mannerisms after he came out of surgery in May, just inconsolable and not agreeable to discipline in any way (redirection, time in, etc). Then since we got a call from the school for a certain older boy, we were waiting for some serious misguided anger, misbehavior, and dishonesty. We prayed together before addressing the issues and were remarkably calm when discussing them. Nothing short of a miracle, thank you for your prayers. We are continuing to struggle with the discernment of a huge decision affecting on of the boys so any prayers you can continue to spare will not be wasted. I think of St. Monica as I try to have a maternal heart on fire for his soul! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I am having a difficult day. I am losing my cool and really need a new perspective!
I could really use some prayers and we really need extra ones around 3:30 pm.
Thanks in advance!



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Sick Days in pictures

 

This was taken the day the fever finally broke!  Praise the Lord!

We made the most of the sick days and rented movies (Chipmunk Christmas, Mickey’s Christmas Special, and The Polar Express).

We watched the Polar Express together and he loved it and I loved having him to love while I tried to etch those moments into my memory forever.  I love this child with my whole being!  So happy to be his Momma!

Silliness  

This is also the day that I dread, Mondays are really tough in shuffling kids back and forth to CCD.  We even had to leave the house to bring Christmas party supplies to the church and Joseph was insistent to wear his elmo pants, rubber boots, and Cabel.as shirt!  I think his attire brought more smiles to others than I would have imagined and I was grateful.  I choose my battles, people!

LOVE!!!

You can tell he is beginning to feel better!  Unfortunately that night, he began coughing so he is now on a cough medicine and it is making all kinds of junk come out.  Sure hope he is all better by his birthday!

Decorating the Christmas Tree

 

2012 is going make it into the record books for how fast the Christmas tree went up & how fast it came down!

Joseph is a riot around the Christmas tree, but the damage he does by himself is mild compared to the damage he can accomplish when he enlists the assistance of two rotten cats!

I am sure that the tree went up so quickly because I had three great helpers!  I almost think that I wasn’t needed at all, the two older boys kept talking about their old Christmas memories so that was a big bonus!

Our tree last year had almost all of the ornaments on the top, but this year we decided to switch it up and put most of the ornaments on the bottom! 

This picture is really special, but it was probably taken about 1/2 hour before Joseph pulled the tree down on himself a few times :/

Thankfully, we were able to catch it in midair.  Plus it is very light!

Talking about Bebe Jeeesuuusss!

Joseph is working super hard on placing his ornaments just right, I think I will have a broken hearted little boy after the Christmas season ends and the tree is no longer up in the living room!

The younger two trimming the tree!

And the one big boy adding some finishing touches!

Here you go Momma, this one is tired of hanging out on the tree branch!!!

See, two ROTTEN cats!!!  Oh, wait, Joseph calls these two his best buddies

So proud!!!  This is about one hour before I realize I have a very sick little boy on my hands.  He began running a fever of about 103 that night and it continued until Monday afternoon, only giving him Motrin helped him feel better and we did that every three hours!  Felt so bad for our little guy, but his Daddy was sick with the same thing the week before and it just had to run its course!

 

Admiration!

And this is where you will find him when he is not sleeping or eating despite his Daddy’s best efforts and to Daisy’s dismay!  This boy chases that cat like nobody’s business and he stops to kiss her and getting the biggest grin imaginable when she stays still long enough for TWO kisses!

I will spend this feast day

asking God for special graces.
I am praying into existence out next child (EAB or MTB)!!! How is that for trusting that nothing is impossible with God?

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Feast of Saint Nicholas

 

Well, Saint Nicholas sure did spoil some boys from down south today & it completely made their day!  A few gold coins in each shoe, along with a Million dollar candy bar, was enough to put some silly grins on these boys faces early this morning!

Joseph was so fast that I could barely capture any pictures of him, but here are a few of my favorites from this morning that are special to me!

He looks like a 4 year old!  He will only be 2 in 9 days!!  Already over 3 feet tall!

Can you see the determination here?

PURE JOY!!!!!!]

So glad we had a great morning because today was the day he had his follow-up appointment with his awesome ENT, Dr. Williams.  Joseph is not a big fan of his, but I sure am glad that my boy has been so much healthier since his surgery in May!  It turns out his tubes look great and are in good position so we will just follow-up once again in June 2013.  Joseph cried during the exam but he was a champ, really!  I was even able to capture a few pictures with my phone and it shows that we have made great progress in being more peaceful in doctor’s offices.

We were so quick in the doctor’s office that we were able to run to the Cathedral downtown for Mass!  This was the highlight of my day!  Joseph was quite the character for the crowd, but they were quite forgiving!  I haven’t brought him to daily mass there in over a year, so I have to learn a few more tricks to get him to stay quiet.

I think he may have been overstimulated because our home parish is very simple and not as much fun (with echos, haha)!

It was an honor to pray for my Prayer Buddy, my family, and receive Jesus in the Eucharist on the Feast of St. Nicholas, to whom we named our sweet Nicky after. 

So many answered prayers

Tonight I was in awe of God's clear answers to my deepest prayers! Jessy has been on retreat for a few days, so I have been handling the household myself and realizing we are doing ok, but can't wait to have him home again! Anyway, as part of the retreat, there is an opportunity to be present In a special way for our loved ones and as I am standing in the middle of the courtyard - watching my love praise God with every part of his being and showing signs of God's peace on his face while under the canopy of stars, embracing the baby I begged God for, in front of the very chapel I asked God to show favor on us with the gift of a baby plus being surrounded by candlelight! Yes, I am certain tonight has to be one that will reside in my heart as one of the most magnificent of them all, right up there with my wedding night and the birth of Joseph!
Praise God that this night was part of our story! Praise God that our story did not end with us in mourning, as I spent many times in that chapel healing from the losses of our babies and the fear that fight against infertility would never be a part of our yesterday's! So glad God allows us to be in the dark so that we can find our way to His light and He doesn't let our stories end in the darkness! Praise God that He still answers prayers and He still loves to wow us and make us remember He is the true lover of our souls!

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30th day!!!!

I have to honestly say that I am pretty thankful this series is going to be done tonight! It was fun counting my blessings, but somedays I just was too tired to blog! Plus I know whatever readers were left, I pretty much wore them out with my sentiments thankfulness!

All of that aside, after tidying up the living room and kitchen for the 10th time today, I remind myself that I wanted this, begged God for this, and would not want my old life back! I have moments when I completely desire the ability to go potty alone, but one day that opportunity will come again but until then, I choose thankful!


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A winter hat!

 

Joseph received a gift from his great-aunt Melodie (Matthew & Mitchell’s Mom) last weekend and while it is extremely adorable, he cannot stand to wear anything on his head!  Silly kid!  So glad I was able to sneak in two pictures before he knew just how much he really disliked having it on his head It did come with some fine mittens and he was quite smitten with them!

Day 29: 30 days of thanksgiving

Tonight I am grateful for tragedy being defeated! Last
night Joseph, Jessy, and I were in the living room before bedtime (Joseph was up later than usual because he took a random late afternoon nap) when we began to smell something burning, it almost smelled like an electrical fire of the toaster. I always unplug the toaster when it is not in use, so that wasn't it. I was busy keeping Joseph away while Jessy checked out our bedroom and bathroom, upon opening the bedroom door we could definitely smell something burning. It turned out to be our fan and it was very scary! Jessy unplugged it and we removed it right away! No damage to the rest of the house surfaced, but it took a good while to clear the air so we could go to bed. O, thank you God!
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Day 28: 30 days of thankfulness

Tonight I am thankful that sweet Henry will always know that he was loved! Please pray with me for Henry's family as they mourn the loss of their son and brother.
No words can explain how this boy and his purpose has changed the souls of many.
Learn more about their beautiful family at bringinghenryhome.blogspot.com


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Day 27: 30 days of thanksgiving

It's the simple things, like cooking a healthy supper, washing a few loads of dishes, and vacuuming while trying to entertain a toddler, that make me thankful that I have someone to laugh with or cry with when the rest of the family is away at work or school. I am also super grateful for my new flannel sheets :).

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Day 26: 30 days of thankfulness

I am thankful that it is the little things that make my family happy! Most of our Christmas decorations are in a storage building so I keep finding some of the things we still have around here to use to brighten up our home. Yesterday it was some simple window clings for the storm door. Joseph loved helping to put the snowmen, reindeer, and stockings on the glass and it was enough to keep him entertained for a bit! Today I pulled out some of our garland (made of mini mittens & sweaters) and put them around the door frames in the kitchen! He was so excited and kept calling them his "mitts"! I am happy tonight and for that I am extremely grateful!
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Day 25: 30 days of thanksgiving

I am thankful for Joseph's growing vocabulary! He chatters a lot but only a small amount is understood by one of us! Today we were visiting his uncle DJ and as I was telling him to bring me something he should've been playing with he brought it to me quickly and as I said "thank you" he nonchalantly said "you welcome". It was a first for but Jessy said he did that the other day!
He is now beginning to ask for his favorite foods by name, pizza (pizza-pizza, pizza-pie) and cookie (which he clearly learned from Copkie Monster from the song "c is for cookie".
He started a few days ago putting to signs together and saying a few two word utterances, primarily "more please". I think he is going through a big transition/ growth development because he is somewhat irritable at times and completing falling apart at other times. I think that "2" is going to be a very dramatic year! Good thing he is cute!

Day 24: 30 days of thanksgiving

Today I am grateful for free family activities! We took the family to a free trip at our local airport (Chennault air base) to see rare old fighter planes, special helicopters, and antique cars! Really sounds strange but everyone loved it! Since we did not have to pay for admission and they provided free drinks, we were able to splurge on getting the big boys ice cream, boudin, and gumbo! Jessy and I shared an awesome funnel cake with Joseph! Great day spent outside in beautiful weather, so thankful!


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Day 23: 30 days of thanksgiving

I am thankful for happy boys! Jessy took the big boys to the woods to deer hunt today! Joseph and I hung out and then looked at Christmas lights! Fun times for us all and the best part was seeing the joy in each of their faces as they shared their stories from their day! These are the boys I remember! Joseph looked liked he was given big box of chocolates when they all walked in the door, lots of love shared here today!

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Day 23: 30 days of thanksgiving

 

I am thankful for a heart that is filled with peace tonight.  I looked at this picture and reminded that the strong waters just soften my edges,  praise God!

Day 21: 30 day of thanksgiving

I am so grateful for amazing friends, old memories that make us laugh like crazy, and just knowing that when they make it all the way from Idaho back to Louisiana it is like nothing has ever changed! We sure do love the Courville family! We are truly blessed to be able to call you friends!

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Day 20: 30 days of thankfulness

I am very grateful for my ability to hold my tongue (sometimes I fail miserably). I am so thankful that I have learned that nothing good comes from being sarcastic, pompous, or plain rude in my conversations and responses to people who choose to be unkind! There are times when I mess up, but today it occurred to me that many hurt feelings have been avoided by me trying to imitate St Therese and her little way. I am grateful that I know when to just let the other person stew in their ugliness and be able to avoid falling into their stirring pot! Sometimes, I jump right on in - what a waste! I just really believe that kind words find a welcoming ear and mean words come from a troubled heart.

I have been finding myself wanting to lash out at others about some things that mean a lot to me, but hopefully by letting God tend to it, all will work its way out in His time.

God, bless my hurting family, I am thankful you are there for us! Amen.

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Day 19: 30 days of thanksgiving

Today I am so thankful to have a warm, soft bed to sleep in and a freezer and pantry filled with food to keep my family fed! Running water and electricity are very popular on my thankful list too!


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Day 18: 30 days of thanksgiving

I was really shocked after I woke up from a 2 hour nap today! Not only was it the best nap I can remember in so long, but was a deep and restful snooze and Joseph slept right beside me!
I was telling Jessy that this was the best Sunday I have had nearly 2 years! Last night Joseph slept 13 hours straight which gave me plenty if time to visit my husband, blog, and sleep for more than 5 hours! We woke up to a super happy boy with just a just a few minutes to get everyone ready for mass! We all made to church, we all stayed for the duration of mass (Joseph is showing good progress in regard to behavior in mass), went grocery shopping, got gas, filled our bellies and still had plenty of time to rest and nap before going to visit family. A perfect Sunday, I am so thankful!

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Day 17: 30 Days of Thanksgiving

 

Today as I was trying to discipline myself to write this post, I came across this picture.  Those of you who know about how to chart using the Creighton Model, you can clearly see how sick I was back in 2007/2008!  I started charting in 2007 when God decided to put in on a special lady’s heart to make the time to teach me the method.  I had really only known her for professional reasons but she did know a bit about how much I wanted to have children and she told me that when she was in prayer, God asked her to make the time to teach me the method even when her life was a whirlwind!  She was obedient and even though it took time, my heart will forever be thankful!

With her help and the help from PPVI along with Dr. Hilgers, my cycles improved, I began to have periods of fertility (HOORAY) and we were able to conceive two miracles with their assistance.  So thankful for restored health and babies that we can love forever, one here on earth with us and one more in heaven enjoy the presence of God with their older brother/sister!

Day 16: 30 days of thanksgiving

Today I was beyond thankful for naptime!
I love my little boy but sometimes his ability to rest and recharge is the only this momma can rest!


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Day 15: 30 days of thankfulness

I am thankful today that I have a husband who listens to my worries! I was near tears this morning feeling like the whole world was against me and one conversation with him and one good cleaning if the fridge later, I found my coping skills again!

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Day 14: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

I am thankful for cousins!  Joseph has two awesome boy cousins and one sweet girl cousin!  He is just getting to the fun age of being able to play a big with them and he sure does adore it!!!

Being an only child I love having two awesome nephews and a super sweet niece!  They have always brightened up our days and are the icing on the cake for family celebrations!!

Day 13: 30 Days of Thankfulness

Today (and everyday) I am grateful for that glorious moment when I see the headlights coming up the driveway and I can tell Joseph "lets go to the door and see who us home!" Definitely the highlight of our day! Even the big boys get cranky when daddy works late!
By the way, what is it about that last hour before your husband comes home and the kids look like they are falling apart at the seams?? Tonight we changed 5 poopy diapers in about 30 minutes! So glad that after the 5th one he was good and so much happier! After that he ate half of my bowl of chicken & sausage gumbo! Love this family and how they eat up all my meals! Must be starving boys or something, not all my cooking is awesome!

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Day 12: 30 days of thankfulness

Today I am grateful that my job is at home. I sometimes forget about the sacredness of the call to be a stay at home momma, it feels very isolating at times and your sacrifices very forgetful to the ones you love the most. Yet today when I woke up to a coughing,congested baby I was so grateful that I would be the one to be there for him when he looked confused about why he felt so out of sorts!
I am grateful that I did not have to call a disgruntled boss and ask for the day off to take care of my child. I am very grateful for my husband who works hard to allow for me robe there for our boys.
No stage or role in life is easy but this one has the most rewards!!

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Day 11: 30 days of thankfulness

I am utterly exhausted, but I am here to write that I am thankful for kind neighbors and the four new tires on my van.
Last night, Jessy, Joseph, and I were going to run to town for a few errands and return home quickly but we only made a short distance before we found ourselves trying to figure out all the new warning signal lights that were coming on! We pulled our and consulted the Manuel only to discover it said we were low in our tire pressure, we checked the time and thought we had enough to get to a station to air it up some because I also needed gas. We make it 1/4 of a mile and we have a full flat on the right side in the front. Thankfully there was a old abandoned driveway on the country highway but it was pitch black - absolutely no street lights. We got out our tools that come with the van to get the spare out and the tool from the dealership is the wrong size so were stuck! No roadside assistance that I could future out, we were supposed to have one with the dealership but I did not have the number. Way to be prepared, right! Thankfully, Joseph was super calm and there was a good breeze in the air and so the Mosquitos were not out. We ended up having to call our neighbors and friends and we were so grateful for them coming I bring Joseph and I home and to let Jessy get the rift tools and then stay there with him while he changed the tire. It wasn't so much the quick way they accepted our plea for help, but their cheerfulness in helping us! It really reminded me of how God desires all of us to be cheerful I give of ourselves to others and to him! This encounter really inspired me and challenged me to be more generous with my time, talent, and treasure!
Well, now we have four awesome new tires and for that I am super grateful too!!!
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Day 10: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

Today I am thankful for my sweet godson, G! 

He is a truly funny boy and were so honored to be asked to be his godparents!  He always melts my heart and has some fabulous way to make you laugh out loud every single time you see him!

His blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes are endearing, but is his personality that will make you feel like you have met the coolest kid in the world when you are in his presence!  I love how he is all boy and nothing can change that!  I wish we got to spend more time with him and that he and his family did not live so far away, but that just makes our time together so much more special.

I remember seeing his Momma and Daddy at the hospital before he was born.  I remember it was the most calm I had ever been in a delivery room as and IF girl for 8 whole years.  I just could see myself there one day, ready to meet my own child one day soon.  I had my surgery with Dr. Hilgers less than one month after G’s birth and we were so filled with hope that one day little G would be playing with our own child! 

On the day he was born, Jessy and I were at the hospital, praying in the waiting room.  By far, this was the most difficult pregnancy my friend had and it took awhile but we knew our role was to pray this child to a healthy, safe birth!  I will never forget holding him for the first time in moments after his birth!  A truly unforgettable moment for us!  Sweet G, you will be forever loved by us!  We are so grateful to be able to be a part of your life and to love you!

Day 9: 30 Days of Thankfulness

 

You know, I have been thinking about the older boys so much and what it is that I carry in my heart for them.  No matter what, I am thankful for them.  But it takes a picture like this one to make me realize that what my heart is learning is so much bigger than myself.  I could not believe how far they have come.  I was looking for one of my earliest digital photographs of the boys to capture the love I remember that overflowed immensely and was struck by their expressions, their clothing, to sadness in their faces.  I think there is more to this picture than just not wanting to take a picture. 

This week it hit me like a ton of brick, these boys have always been mine.  I remember when my aunt was pregnant with Matthew, I was thrilled.  His parents experienced infertility and one loss before he arrived and he was a long-awaited gift.  I was just in my second year at the university, but I would stop by just to be in my Aunt’s presence as she was pregnant with him, similar to Mother Mary’s visit to Elizabeth.  My aunt was excited but never really understood my connection to this child I have never met.  I loved him for the moment he was just a little whisper of God’s promise.  He came amid shouts of joy and was the center of his parents world.  Our whole family adored him. 

Just barely six months later, my Aunt found herself pregnant again and there was quite the little baby boom in October of that year that was due to the big blessing of a IceStorm that January.  Even with Mitchell, I felt the same kind of connection with him, I loved him from the moment we knew of his existence.  Their family was very busy for awhile while they learned to have a newborn and 15 month old at the same time.  I saw less of them for awhile.  Yet, in 1999, we were given a significant role in caring for both both boys when their father became very ill.  Jessy I started dating in Jauary of that year, my Uncle Greg got sick that August and died a few weeks later.  Jessy helped me a lot with them when they were toddlers and my friends in college always laughed at me because I always had two carseats in my car from that time on.

Mitchell was barely two and Matthew just turned three when we held them tight at Our Lady Queen of Heaven for their Daddy’s funeral.  I still never thought we would be the ones to raise this boys.  In the years that followed, the boys were sometimes with us, with their grandparents, and their aunts and uncles while their Mom tried to learn to handle the grief of becoming a widow in her early 30’s and learning to be a single parent.  I really think that she tried her best but her body was weak, her spirit tired, and her choices reflected that she was just worn-out and exhausted.  Raising boys is hard, raising boys with ADHD and other behavior concerns can wipe someone’s spirit quick.  My aunt was never in the best of health and she quickly declined when she battled breast cancer, severe heart conditions that led to strokes, and mental health issues.

So as I have been battling to choose to love these children because these days it just doesn’t come automatically I needed to be able to pull up those deep feelings of love that I have always had for them.  We find ourselves able to get along well with Matthew, the older one, but the younger one is deeply resentful and as I spoke with the counselor yesterday this is just going to be the best that he can give us right now.  I am trying so hard to build relationship with them and thankfully one is responding to that.  We are just going to have to still love Mitchell, just like we always have but we have to not let him know that his ways of shutting us out are bothering us.  The counselor seems to think that since he knows it bothers us, that is the only way he is feeling he has some power in the situation of not living with his Momma anymore.  We did not take them away, we took them in.  There is a HUGE difference there.  This realization is helpful for me when I am going crazy with an extremely moody toddler, a moody teenager, and my own emotions feel wacky because of my hormones. 

So today I am thankful we can see the incredible difference from these boys (above) to these boys (below)!

Is it just me or do these boys seem as difference as night and day from before?

You know some people tell me we must be doing a good job with these boys and I know that they mean well, but I truly can think of a million ways I can better show them love, show them a servant's heart, exemplify Christ.