Overwhelmed - updated!

I have been so overwhelmed.

I am still battling that sinus headache (possibly a migraine) and even though meds help soften the pain, it has not ever gone all away.

I had a miserable day being preached at about how to handle conflict. Seriously, I use to teach people and families how to handle conflict. So, lo and behold, when I had a conflict, I did all the things right and nothing was resolved. After all of the so called "lesson" for the day, we were encouraged to go to holy Mass together. My spirit was so grieved knowing that I am going to have to accept the injustice or walk away and try to let go of bitterness, I nearly wept throughout the mass. I tried very hard to not be revealing with my emotions. I think I was able to minimize the tears.

I am on cd 7, have been taking the clomid (50 mg) since Saturday because I forgot to take it on Friday night and I am just wondering how much of my hormones are aiding my muddled feelings, sensitivity, and desperate plea to God to just have mercy on me, bring me healing, and helping me to trust in the future He has planned for me.

We have been watching "Life, Unexpected" and tonight I just cried because of Lux's letter to Santa begging for parents, not perfect parents - just kind ones! She kept saying in the show that nobody wanted her, she wanted almost anyone to love her and no one showed up to love her claim her, help give her a future. She mentioned that when Santa found them to let them know she was waiting for them.

Waiting . . .

I am waiting for God to choose for me to become a mother of a child here on earth. Today at holy Mass, we prayed for all orphans, why does my heart feel so broken up when I realize that God could use me to bind up the broken hearts of orphans and yet I am still here. I will continue to pray until I am called to do more.

Sometimes really good things/people come along in really messed up ways. Yes, the story of my life and I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that the end of the story of my life WILL have a happy ending. It has too!

As of today, I woke up with no headache :) I just took the dose of clomid so we will see if this could have been aiding it, but I really think it is the terrible way my body deals with stress and it had been one stressful day yesterday.