Saturday, February 6, 2010

A blessing of friendship, indeed!

I was able to meet Mrs. Blondies today and she is so kind and friendly. There is so much grace in being able to meet a fellow blogger in real life and immediatley be comfortable like you've been friends for 10+ years!

Since we both live in the same state, we were able to meet in the middle of the state for tea and a lovely lunch. Yet, as always, it was the conversation that was the best part. It was an added treat to fully understand where we have both been and how much we both dream of growing our families as God wills.

I was so excited, I even brought my camera and did not even get to take our picture
:(. I was really feeling out of sorts today with a miserable sinus headache and my head just kept throbbing. If I stayed very still, the throbbing would settle down. I had taken a mucinex at 6:30 am but it did not relieve the symptoms, so before I headed home I stopped and got some tylenol sinus and by the time I arrived home, I was feeling a bit better. I hope I wasn't a lousy partner for lunch today, I did not want to cancel since I was looking so foward to meeting her, so I was going to make that trip no matter what! The drive was not bad at all and I am hoping we can do it again sometime!

Really, she has such a fun nature and generous spirit, that I can't wait to see her become a mother too, since you can see that it would just be the best gift God could give her!

A priest friend of mine who is very wise and much older than us told me one day that he had some dear friends that suffered through IF for many years and they were never able to have a good match for adoption, but that they lived very full lives. As he was sharing this with me, not shared for sadness sake, but he was telling me that he never understood why some of the most beautiful, generous, kind women have to battle IF. That comment has always stayed with me. Each time I read all of my fellow bloggers stories and when I get the pleasure to meet other women who also experience the struggle to attain good fertility, I remember his comment.

Why is it, I wonder? Is it our suffering, the one that unites us, that God used to create in us compassionate hearts that desire to serve God more than own agendas, our own dreams? Is it our suffering that causes us to pause before being unkind, acting selfishly, or causing more harm to a troubled soul? Just maybe that kind, older priest was on to something, but maaybe I did not understand what the point was he was trying to teach me. It just might be our cross, the crushing burden of desiring motherhood despite flawed fertility, that makes the women that carry that cross bravely more beautiful, generous, and kind. God's creation is made manifest in our suffering, He is renewing our spirits daily!

6 comments:

  1. My parish priest admitted that when he talks about IF couples..he often thinks of my dh and I. He told me that I do carry IF with grace. I never thought about it like that. I'm glad I carry it outwardly with grace and not with big IF "scarlet" letters. Ha! It's nice when a priest can offer some words of wisdom and hope that life can be fulfilling without children.

    That is wonderful that you were able to meet a fellow blogger. I'm sure it's pretty special. I sometimes wish I had a girlfriend around me that I can talk to face to face about IF. I have one friend who never had children of her own but she did adopt from Kor.ea. SHe's pretty awesome..however very busy. Her husband owns a few businesses that keep them busy.

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  2. My Priest looks at me just as dumbfounded as I talk to him about how incredibly confused I am about my IF. He always says I don't understand it! :) Ha! It even stumps him! hahaha

    I'm so excited you were able to meet Mrs. B. :) That is fantastic.

    I also wanted to mention that when I saw my headache specialist he told me that migraines come in the form of "sinus headaches" and it has to do with the specific mirgraine. He said that people often mistake them for sinus headaches because they have all the same characteristics. If I remember correctly.

    So just incase...I wanted to mention to you they have medicine for it...I know all you need is another doctor right? :)

    I know that sometimes when I start to get a headache I notice I sneeze and become congested as well....

    But I can tell you my headaches have not gotten worse then moderate on my new founded medication. It's such a relief to feel relief within 30-45 minutes of taking that little pill.

    So just in case, I wanted to share that information with you.... :)

    Hope you feel better....

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  3. Yay! So glad that you tow were able to meet up! :)

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  4. I'm so glad that you were able to meet up with Mrs. Blondies! Isn't it so great to meet blog friends IRL????

    I do have to admit that I haven't talked to our parish priest about our IF. I'm sure that there are many couples that talk to him regarding their TTC struggles -- we have quite a few adopted kids in the parish and also some older parents. You are so lucky to have such a good relationship with your priest!

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  5. I always hesitate before commenting on any of your blogs because I am not IF, and I always feel unworthy. I really was moved by what you said, LIM, about how the IF cross changes you in many good and profound ways. You ladies with IF are so incredibly holy in your outlook, so open to carrying the cross of IF. Don't misunderstand, I know that you get angry and sad and even despairing, but you never walk away from God (you could!) and you always grow deeper and deeper in your love for Him, abandoning yourselves to Him. He remains your rock. This is so inspiring, and it's why I cannot stay away from these blogs. You all have so much to teach me about being faithful, being trusting, and growing in holiness.

    I truly consider these blogs to be sacred space, and I can tell you that the grace just emanates from all of them. Thank you, thank you, for making me a better Catholic just by reading. I pray for you all daily for you to soon have babies in your arms, and I ask for your prayers too, because I believe your prayers to be extremely powerful before the Throne of God.

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  6. LIM - I am glad you got to meet Mrs. Blondies this weekend! It is fun! Thankful and I got to meet up on Saturday too - what a blessing! I really liked your reflection on how the IF cross changes us - you are so right. I sometimes would like to think I am owed my own little pity party. Like when I heard recently that a dear friend of mine who has a 28 month old, a 9 month old, and then just found out she was pregnant and is 20 weeks along! (No, she had no clue that she was pregnant and she just assumed her period had stayed away because she was nursing the baby). But then, I step back and think no - I am not owed anything because you know what, I have already been given everything I need by the Lord - faith, grace for the asking and plenty of other opportunities to do His will. (Typing it out doesn't make it any easier to swallow, but I figure if I keep a positive attitude and one full of gratitude, it will make getting the type of news as mentioned above easier to bear - because I will be bearing it with love.) Sorry for the long ramble and thanks for this post. Oh and to Leila - I like your comments on the various blogs and I think you have a wonderful perspective! God Bless!

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