Waiting

I am waiting for a new cycle to start.

Cd 1 was on 10/28 (so it is cd32), p was 11/13 so today is p+16.

My temp dropped this morning, but I am not too sure how reliable this is at this point. I woke up with pain on my right side and took an advil certain that cd 1 was imminent, but it has not shown up yet and while I hope and pray that I would be lucky enough to be late for a reason, I am just not so sure. I think the Advil caused the drop in temp.

I really don't want to let my mind get ahead of where I am physically.

We had an amazing Thanksgiving celebration with family and it was a nice suprise to be in good spirits. We did lots of home projects this holiday weekend and just spent some fun time together cooking, watching movies and just enjoying each other. It has been such a blessing to enjoy our time off together. On Saturday, we put up our tree and it was so easy this time. We had been given the christmas tree my Aunt had and it was just 3 pieces and was pre-lit. It seems very special to have this part of her with us. She loved the holidays! The tree is simply decorated and we only put up decorations that the cats could not break, since Baylie is still a kitten and we wanted to get her used to it and not risk breaking any of our special ornaments. I really want to make a special ornament for Nicky. I am thinking a little "n" that I can decorate and add a star too. We got one for Sam a long time and I want a special one for Nicky. I really like the one that Ann from Building a Nest got.

Anyway, I realized the next morning that in my determination to not be grumpy or sad for Christmas, I did speed pass the "waiting" period of Advent. It made me think that I am just not so great at waiting for much of anything. I am just so impatient with so many things - like getting stuck in traffic, waiting to see a doctor, waiting for blood work or the labs to be done, the list could go on. I prayed this morning that God would help me to wait well. I told God that I will not throw a hissy fit if I am not pregnant right now and I would not throw a fit if I did in fact get pregnant and lose another baby. I heard someone say today that they are just in pieces. What a beautiful way to describe their brokeness. I beleive that I am in pieces for a purpose and I am asking God to help me understand that I can wait on Him and trust that His plans are the best.