the hsg is tomorrow
I am certainly not thrilled and really told God that I am not happy that I am still on this roller coaster.
I just want to move on.
I don't want to be trying to get pregnant when I should still be pregnant.
I have been giving myself a pretty good pity party the past two days! My emotions are all over the place and I am a holy terror to live with right now. I haven't felt this low in a long time.
Part of it was brought on when my mom pressured me to make a decision on how we were planning to spend the holidays. I clearly told her when it was obvious that only the blunt truth would work that I am not looking foward to the holidays. I want to actually go on vacation for Christmas.
Avoiding is what I am really desiring right now. I want to avoid so many things and today, just thinking of these things would bring tears to my eyes.
I am having a huge battle right now. I am having such a hard time trusting that God is in all of this.
I believe that I will not be in this place for long, but it just makes me understand just a little bit of the suffering of Mother Theresa and her soul's dark nights.
The highlight of Friday is that I am off and once the test is over, I can bring Baylie home.
Oh it just breaks my heart that you have to go through all this right now. I'll be praying that your hsg go wells and then you can relax at home with sweet Bailey...
ReplyDeleteI completely understand what you mean about going on vacation for the holidays!!!!
Praying for you,
Amber
I'm praying for you. I know that feeling entirely too well.
ReplyDeleteIt's belated, but I'm glad Baylie made it through the surgery with flying colors. It always worries my when my little nutters are away from me at the vet for any length of time.
You're not avoiding if you go on vacation for Christmas. You're healing. Do what YOU need to do for you, to feel good physically and emotionally. Christmas is about the birth of our Lord, not a family dinner or presents. You can do those things anytime. Good luck with your hsg, then go snuggle with little Baylie.
ReplyDeleteYou can come visit us for Christmas. I promise no small children will be there, just me, D and my 20-year old brother. I hope your HSG goes/went well. I'm glad to hear you are going to be able to pick up Baylie soon. Seriously, you and J can come for Christmas. It's close enough that you don't have to drive too far.
ReplyDeleteHey girl, I'm praying for you today. Hope the HSG went well and that you are resting comfortably at home with your feet up! Thinking of you.
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