I was looking so foward to today. I had talked to my sil and asked her if we could take our godson to take some pictures for part of his birthday present. We did this because he has had no pictures taken and will be one shortly. He has a few pictures that I have taken with my camera, but they kept saying they wanted to do it, but did not have the money. We invited her and the baby's daddy for it too, but it made the morning very stressful for me. Not because of their presence, but for the way that act and talk. In passing the time as we waited for the photographer, she felt the need to tell me that her friend is finally having a boy. She and I had Christmas season due dates and this is her fourth child with the third father. So, of course, the SIL decides that it is still natural to tell me that now her friend can have her tubes tied bc they they finally got their boy after three girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, the best thing I could possibly do was be silent bc the words that would have come out of my mouth were full of vile and fire. I wanted to tell her to give a message to her friend from me and this is what I would have said: "If you do not want to have another baby, don't have SEX! Practice restraint. A tube, two well funtioning tubes are PRICELESS!!!! Don't damage a perfectly good body part. Fertility is a gift when it used with sacredness."
I also had a huge fight with my husband this morning bc I just get so frustrated even having to listen to these people who refuse to learn new ways of respecting their bodies. Another absurd comment was made when she was looking at a picture of a young couple with a newborn on the wall of the portrait studio. She said they did not even look old enough to be married. I thought, and you were. Old enough is not just about an age, it is about a maturity.
So in letting go of this after we parted ways, we were plenty occupied in chasing after a very mobile 11 mo. old. We have been running nonstop all morning. Now I know what my friends who have little ones really mean when they say it is always busy motion!!!
We have had a great day overall and the pictures turned out fantastic! We got one with him sitting on a milk crate with hay all around and in front of a big red barn door and then one of him in the silver washtub with bubbles and duckie before he had enough.
Baylie is worn smooth out from all of his chasing, Daisy is an old pro and hid under the bed for a few hours. I felt like we were running a zoo! I wondered in my heart how mothers and fathers do it with twins, triplets, even quads! God's blessing must be overflowing!
I feel like a lot of us are struggling deeply and I think it is because the holidays are upon us.
ReplyDeleteAnother season with empty wombs & empty arms. It has to be affecting us.
There is always one thing that is comforting, at least I'm not alone in my grief! That is horrible to say, but when we are hurting we know we have a sister in Christ who is hurting as much as we are. And in some sick way, I find that comforting!
Love what you would have said! I bet the pics are adorable!!!
It was very sweet of you to pay for the pictures for your godson. I'm sorry being with SIL was so rough; I'm astounded the things people will say to people even when they know about a painful situation someone has dealt with. It's so hard to see children with unstable family situations when you are trying so hard and have a loving and faithful family to provide.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you.
I hear comments like that too and I just burn inside...I'm one who says nothing also...I'm sure what I would like to say and what would come out of my mouth in rashness could be very different and probably not very Christian like. Why do people think it's okay to say stuff like that to whomever they want? Doesn't your SIL know you've been struggling through so much to be a parent yourself? I think she did not have her "thinking cap" on today.
ReplyDeleteThat is wonderful that you were able to get those precious picts of your godson done today. Ignore the comments and relish in all the blessings you do have. Blessings.
My heart goes out to you my dear, because I absolutely know what it is like to have someone constantly making comments like that. One of the hardest comments that I have had to hear a lot recently is, I wasn't ever supposed to be able to get pregnant and have children. This of course coming from 2 women who had no treatments to go through and then gave birth to twins each! UGH!!! Oh how I am biting my lip right now. No, I know that I have never said anything that I have thought or would have like to, however, my thoughts and comments probably would not be very christian like either. My usual comment is this... "People who have children are very blessed and sometimes don't realize just how much a blessing that would be to others."
ReplyDeleteJust know that I am right there with you in all of your emotions and pray for you daily. Every Sunday I say a special prayer for all of us ladies out here trying to do God's will and hurting because one of the ways we feel called to serve him is by being a mommy.
You are so sweet and your SIL is especially blessed to have you in her life. Hopefully she realizes that and has thanked you for the gift that you gave her by getting precious pictures taken of her little boy and also being this precious little boy's God parents.
Hugs and blessings,
Stacey