Tomorrow

Tomorrow I will go and see the perinatologist.

I have managed to think as little as possible as I can about this so that I am not filled with worry or fear.

I am trying to think of this appointment as Joseph's appointment and I am just bringing him in to see a doctor to make sure he is developing well and that I am providing a safe environment for him to grow in for the next three months or so!

I just have to trust God right now.

Speaking of God, Joseph loves going to Mass and jumps every time the music begins. He is fun already, but the little parties at 4:17 in the morning have to be my favorite! Where does this kid get his schedule from because it is not mine!! He tends to have his favorite moments and during the week, before my husband leaves for the day we always give one another a blessing for the day and when Joseph receives his blessing - he responds immediately to his Daddy.

I love it. I am living in joy more than despair these days and it is an amazing transformation. I told my spiritual director the other day that "It just takes my breath away that I get to even experience these moments."

I am concerned that this blog may not be as reader friendly to those who find reading about pregnancy too difficult. Today at mass, I wondered if there were any women who would look at me (finally looking pregnant) and have the same pain in their heart that I experienced every time I would see a pregnant belly and wonder if I would ever have the chance to grow round with a baby. I pray so diligently for those who share this journey with me.

I would appreciate your prayers for a successful visit tomorrow with the specialist. I just want Joseph to be healty and free of danger. Know that you all remain in my prayers.

St. Joseph, pray for us.