Goodness Gracious

I had the day off and tried to spend some time with my mom.

Really, I love my mom, but she hurts my feelings alot. Every conversation seems strained.

My mom deals with a boatload of depression and other issues, but I still sometimes just expect things to not be so difficult. It wore me down and I was unable to deal with it with kindness today because I just really stood up for myself. Now I feel completely vulnerable and guilty. It is really a sad situation and I know she would climb the highest mountain to be able to build better relationships with those around her, but it seems to be just out of her grasp. She made me to be the one with issues and as more conversations unfolded, it appeared that she is fundamentally disappointed with all of the people in her life. I have been praying for her daily in regard to these issues specifically. She is trying. I need to try more, too.

Being pregnant after infertility and two losses I am different than most pregnant women. I tend to talk very little outside of my close circle of friends and my husband about the joys and ultimately the worries of this pregnancy. This is what set her off today because I tend to be a bit overwhelmed when she or other family members talk so much about the baby or my pregnancy. All I can think of is that they were also the hardest to be around after the loss of Sam and Nicky. I remember seeing her or Jessy's parents and just crying to not being able to present them with their new grandbabies after we were all excited to meet them. They did not put this pressure on me, I did it to myself. I understand this, but this is just the truth of the matter. I explained this to her, but she seemed to think that I am trying to diminish her joy.

I did try to let her know that I love her, but that seemed to just be so shallow.

Any constructive suggestions? I want to be joyfully connected to my mom during this time, but today was just so stressful.

Our Saturday

This past week was just nuts, but thankfully Saturday has arrived!!!

Looking back on the last week:

Monday - work and fitting in a visit with the perinatologist who thankfully had pleasant news for us!

Tuesday - wake up at the crack of dawn to be in the first in line at the lab to get progesterone blood draw, wait 1/2 hour for them to spin it so I can mail it to ppvi on my lunch break! Work, work, more work!!

Wednesday- work and feeling really messed up. Don't know what is going on but dizzy in the morning and back pain all day! Could not stay focused but still managed to make it through a crazy day at work. Thankfully at the end of the day the supervisor told me to take the whole day off tomorrow for my appointment and that since things were slowing down, I could start working just 3 days a week if I want - praise God. I love earning extra money, but I was getting beaten down. Joseph and I needed rest! By the way, my sugars were low most of the day which probably made for the less than ideal day!

Thursday - get to sleep good and until around 9 am!!! It was not uninterruped sleep - lots of bathroom trips and positioning issues, plus he seems to like me to move more while I am trying to be still, but the rest was amazing! I ended up going to my doctors appointment which was the first time I was completely unimpressed with her attitude and professionalism! She looked at my laparotomy scar and said "WHO DID THAT TO YOU???" That was the least of my worries compared to the other crap she pulled that day, but I am trying to just trust God here and beleive that she was just having one of her worst days. I am not trying to diminish her behavior because I still can't reconcile that in my head or heart, but I know that Joseph is ok and I am ok, so I am just going to go from there. Yet, honestly my emotions were raw until around 10 pm last night!

Friday- work, work, work!! Thank goodness my paycheck can pay for the house insurance :) Then as I am heading off I see that Dr. H's office calls me with my progesterone levels and they dropped 2 pts in 3 weeks. I was instructed to go back to 2oo units PIO 2xwk. Along with all of the other stuff! I talk to the nurse about the stunt my local ob pulled and she was shocked!!! I still won't say it hear because it just makes me upset. So I am downcast and Jessy and I head to o'charleys for their 2 for $14.99 meals, make a quick trip to Target, Toyrus for birthday gifts, and then visit his family! I am wiped out when we get home and get my shot. I ask him to lay his head on my belly to see if he can hear Joseph's heartbeat and as he was telling me "yes" - Joseph kicked him twice in the head!!! Is it sad that I loved every minute of those moments? He loved it too ;)

Which brings me to SATURDAY! Yah - the weekend has arrived!! We are up and at'em at 6:30 am going to our Godson's flag football game (5-6 year olds) that Jessy is helping to coach! Here are a few photos! There are 8 boys and 1 girl on the football team. Who is Jessy's newest sidekick?? The sweet little girl! Toward the end of the game she said "Mr. Jessy! I think I am finally understanting that white line over there! When I have the ball and run across that line, they are supposed to stop chasing me! Why are they still chasing me?? Those boys ar ROUGH, are all boys that rough, Mr. Jessy?" Loved every minute of it!! So precious! I hope you enjoyed the pictures! Jessy is in the turquoise shirt and khacki shorts! Our Godson is #13! Go, D! In the top photo, D is there with his Dad my (brother-in law) in the gold shirt!

Happy Mail Day!

Something has changed. I can't put my finger on it, but your body cannot know that you have magically entered the third trimester and just want to fall apart, can it? I am getting lower back pain which can be relieved with relaxation, but really is bothersome. Humility has come to my door saying "Stretching pains are HERE!!! Like it or not!" For the longest time, I thought I had just hit a plateau and it would be easier from now on . . . . hahahaha! Is anyone laughing with me out there? I can't get over how quickly the transition from feeling vibrant to feeling concerned all over again happened. I am hoping this is just a phase that passes quickly, because it is not easy to handle.

Yet . . . I got the best pick-me-up gift in the mail today from my great friend Maria (check out her blog "Living in LewisLand" on my blogroll). I have never seen this book before but it is AWESOME and such a timely gift! Believe it or not, I came home today from my doctor's appointment and laid in bed and read the whole book - praying for baby Joseph!

I love it and the special card and pictures that came with it, thanks Maria!!!

Speaking of my doctor's appointment. I left there today with the most lost feeling in the world. Really forlorn - I don't really want to get into the reasoning because it is just not sitting right with me right now. I will have to follow-up on it and stand up for what Joseph and I need. That is really all I can say about it right now without driving myself nuts.

I will start working just part time starting next week. I had today off for my doctor's appointment so I hope things continue to go well.

2lbs7oz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is right, Joseph already weighs 2lbs 7oz!!!

I am blown away!!!

I feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted from my shoulders, praise God!

Joseph is growing and doing well! His heart looks great, beating at 156bpm. I got to see all his precious fingers and toes! It was a beautiful moment to know which body parts are kicking/punching me where ;) I loved seeing him all over again!

They did a very intensive u/s with the u/s specialist and then the perinatologist came in and was so kind! They were all so kind and compassionate of my anxiety level. He is measuring at 28w1d and they said that he could arrive around December 12!!!!!!! Yes, that is the day I dreamed he would actually come because it is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Not that he will arrive that day, he could come before or later, but just seeing that day was a confirmation of sorts for me! I am so thankful - my heart is just singing praises to my God and all of the saints in heaven intercededing for us in prayer! Thank you all for praying for us! I aprreciate it so much!

I guess with his size - it is no wonder I feel him so much! Thank you Jesus!

The doctor was pleased with my sugar levels (esp. my fasting am ones) and he seems to think that the gestational diabetes will be managed well with diet and exercise! So very thankful He said that thyroid issues were the least of my worries right now, that the gestational diabetes is the beast to beat :) He was thankful for my good recordkeeping and he called our baby a "Miracle Baby" Everyone there did and they are absolutely right! He encouraged me to raise our Joseph to be a good citizen and not spoil him and to tell myself that we had him just like anyone else has a baby! I loved that because that is my biggest concern to not spoil him just because we waited so long for him! Know what I mean? He will be showered with loved, but we aim to balance that with appropriate Christ-like discipline!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I will go and see the perinatologist.

I have managed to think as little as possible as I can about this so that I am not filled with worry or fear.

I am trying to think of this appointment as Joseph's appointment and I am just bringing him in to see a doctor to make sure he is developing well and that I am providing a safe environment for him to grow in for the next three months or so!

I just have to trust God right now.

Speaking of God, Joseph loves going to Mass and jumps every time the music begins. He is fun already, but the little parties at 4:17 in the morning have to be my favorite! Where does this kid get his schedule from because it is not mine!! He tends to have his favorite moments and during the week, before my husband leaves for the day we always give one another a blessing for the day and when Joseph receives his blessing - he responds immediately to his Daddy.

I love it. I am living in joy more than despair these days and it is an amazing transformation. I told my spiritual director the other day that "It just takes my breath away that I get to even experience these moments."

I am concerned that this blog may not be as reader friendly to those who find reading about pregnancy too difficult. Today at mass, I wondered if there were any women who would look at me (finally looking pregnant) and have the same pain in their heart that I experienced every time I would see a pregnant belly and wonder if I would ever have the chance to grow round with a baby. I pray so diligently for those who share this journey with me.

I would appreciate your prayers for a successful visit tomorrow with the specialist. I just want Joseph to be healty and free of danger. Know that you all remain in my prayers.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

Fickle Nursery Designer!!

For the longest time the last two weeks I have been struggling with which direction to go in for the nursery. In all honesty, we are pretty simple people, but this is something we have dreamed of preparing for over 10 years now. That was alot of time to dream.

We wanted something fun, yet affordable. We did not need alot, but we (maybe I should say I) wanted everything to coordinate. So with that being said, I ended up spending a little more than I should have on a COORDINATNG valence, for crying out loud! In all honesty, we have spent very little, but it seems like every decision was a big commitment - so funny! I guess I just want everything to be perfect and to reflect a fun, loving environment!

Initially, I bought an adorable valence when we visited Babi.esr.us a few weeks ago - it was for the bargain price of $4.99! Then when we strolled the store before we left, we actually found a cute little design that we both liked! We ended up buying wall decals. Well it turns out they did not match the bargain curtain, so tonight I ordered the new valence that will coordinate with wall decals.

We have the nursery cleared out and Joseph's closet is getting full, already.

Here is what it looks like so far. It will likely be another two months before we get the crib in there, but we have all the material for Joseph's grandpa to build the dresser/changing table. I am enjoying these days - it all takes my breath away! I am still so stunned and humbled that we are allowed to experience this joy after so many years of waiting and longing.

Please know that you all remain in my prayers! Your special intentions have become my own special intentions!

Irony

Today as I am celebrating life, there was a family who lost their precious 13 year old son.

My heart has been heavy for them all day long.

I have been relishing in all the movements of my growing baby and I just was shaken to the core by the untimely loss of this young boy. Wondering how do you instill in each child's precious souls that they are so valuable in God's eyes and your most precious gift from Him?

Parenting is so hard. I cannot imagine what these parents are feeling at this time. Please join me prayer for his precious soul and that these parents can somehow feel the love of God in this most terrible tragedy.

The back story is that there was a little boy who died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound at a local catholic school this morning.

Mary, Mother of God, hold this young boy close to your heart! Surround him with love eternal! Pray with me for all the other family members, staff, and fellow students, as well as all those who will be ministering to those suffering.

10 Suprising Things About Me!

Well, I am jumping on the bandwagon! Here goes ~

1. I hate to go shoe shopping. I will wear out a pair of shoes until they are falling apart because finding my size is so difficult! I wear a size 11W! The funniest part is that my best friend has the same problem and wears one shoe size larger than I do! We are also both just one inch shy of being six feet tall!

2. I always hated being tall!!!! Now I am thankful for it when I reaching to the tops of the cabinets!

3. I was born in CO! I loved being able to go back there to see Pope John Paul II for World Youth Day when I was in high school.

4. I hate mopping!!!! I would rather doing any other chore and put that one off for as long as I can get away with it!

5. I am very shy. I am very private and this has been difficult, even with family!

6. I am hopelessly pathetic at doing anything related to modern technology. I hate dealing with the dvd player, etc because I just hate dealing with all those remotes!

7. My favorite job ever was being a Special Instructor Teacher for children 0-3 who were experiencing developmental delays. I loved every minute of it!

8. I always stop in my tracks to admire flowers of every kind, just remembering that St. Therese reveals her prayers for me in those moments! Big or little, I love them all!

9. When J and I were preparing for marriage, my grandma asked me "How many kids do you want to have?" I responded boldly "EIGHT!" I always wanted a big family, but I have no idea where that number came from! Later, J and I talked more about it and I think he was suprised to say the least! hahhaa

10. I love to decorate, but I love to have everything (EVERYTHING) coordinate! This is the reason I am still struggling with how to decorate the nursery!

If you haven't done this list yet, take some time to do it! It is fun to learn new things about each other!

100 DAYS!!!!

We have only about 100 days left until we meet little Joseph!

We are so excited and yet sometimes still just brought to silence in utter amazement at this incredible blessing.

Everyday, I am thankful for this little boy getting stronger.

I find myselft doing everything I can to just enjoy each day, loving him right where he is.

We were in mass yesterday afternoon and I just marveled at the fact that in around 3 months or a tad more we will be carrying a baby in our arms, seeing them face to face. Listening to their whimpers, their soft breathing. It has been such a journey to get to this moment that I still feel like I watching it happen to someone else.

I will sing God's praises.

In other news, we went to mass last night so we could be home all day! How sad is that? We also ran all our errands, did the grocery run, rented two movies, and plan to catch up on housework, do some more cleaning in the nursery, and cook a big pot of red beans and sausage - some to eat today and some to stick in the freezer for when we need an easy meal!

I hope you all enjoy a beautiful and restful Sunday!

Update

Praise God, everything went well yesterday. I felt fine and went to the appointments with the nutritionist and GDM educator. They are both RNs and very aware of what I should be doing to keep Joseph and myself healthy.

They were both so very kind and set me at ease very quickly. In order to meet with them at the hospital I am using for delivery, I had to go through admitting and be sent up to the Labor and Delivery Unit. I really felt out of place there and worried. I had a armband and everything. The admitting staff told me that I had to sign waivers just in case the nurses decided to admit me to the hospital today. They mentioned that sometimes happens. Alarm bells go off!

It turns out that I am still not really eating enough food, carbs included. Yet the foods I have been trying to incorporate more into my diet like milk and orange juice raise my sugar levls very quickly because they are absorbed so fast. They told me to try to combine certain types of food, like break and peanut butter because the protein slows down the digestion so that the sugar levels from the bread don't cause a quick rise in my blood sugar. I found out that 4 oz of oj is considered 1 carb serving and one cup of milk (skim) is 1 carb serving. I am to stay away from the juices for awhile to see if this is a factor my changing sugar levels.

When they taught me how to use the new glucose monitoring device, I was suprised that my sugar levels were within the normal limits that my doctor wants to see for me. I tested for the rest of the day and they were all within the normal limits. I am supposed to test four times a day - upon waking (fasting), two hours after breakfast, two hours after lunch, and two hours after supper. All day long they were where they needed to be, yet this morning my fasting blood sugar was elevated above what they want for a fasting level. In fact, it was one point higher than the draw after supper last night. I don't understand that, but that was the same one that was highest for the 3 hr GTT. I will have to ask my doctor about that if it becomes a trend.

From what I can tell from their education and documents that they gave me, since I was severely PCOS (I had double OWR's because of PCOS) and insulin resistant before getting pregnant it was highly likely that I would develop gestational diabetes. Mainly because pregancy hormones from the growing placenta tend to block the normal function of the insulin in breaking down sugar and using it for fuel. My body already had to work hard to overcome this without the additional "blocking" from the placenta.

I will deal with GDM anyday as long as my baby stays healthy and I am grateful that I even have a reason to be having to deal with this. Praise God that Joseph has been letting me know he is growing and moving, it settles my heart so much and causes great joy.

In other news, I will see the perinatologist on 9/20 and I am feeling better about it. Being able to see where I will need to be going yesterday and how nice the staff is at the hospital have settled some of my anxiety. I am nervous that there will be somethings that might suprise, but I am praying that this is just a normal precaution. I was afraid that the t3 or the new synthroid might have created problems for baby Joseph but I have to trust that God is overseeing all of the care we are receiving.

There was a song last night that came on as I was driving home by Jeremy Camp that just reminded me that God is with me and my family - our faith has led us here and will continue to lead us. Here are the lyrics that express the stirrings of my heart.

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Chorus:
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, yeah, ya

(Chorus)

Well I'm broken, but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken, pouring Your words of grace

(Chorus x2)
Well hallelujah, hallelu(I will walk by faith)
Well hallelujah, hallelu(I will walk by faith)
I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith

Thanks for all of your encouraging words and prayers. They are working :) Now I have to catch up on all the blogs. Life has been super busy and I am always so tired after working. Keeping you all in prayer and specifically offering up lots for my beautiful friends still trusting God to grow their families as He sees fit.

Worries

I had what I thought would be an uneventful appointment today with my local ob.

Well, that is never the case is it?

She gave me some information about the GD. I will be meeting with the nutritionist and diabetes educator tomorrow at 11 am.

Then she mentioned that because the thyroid was an issue she wanted me to start seeing a perintologist on 9/20 and f/u routinely with them.

Then start now seeing her every two weeks.

Then at 32 weeks start doing weekly visits and ultrasounds to monitor the baby very closely.

Ultimately, it was the mention of the perintologist that scared me the most.

I am battling not getting down because my body seems so less than ideal for baby Joseph.

Yet, in the end, I am so thankful that he is growing and that I have the opportunity to love him everyday.

Please join me in prayer for Joseph! I would really appreciate them!

FINALLY!!!!

My progesterone is finally rising like it should. I am saying this with great relief (as well as caution)!

I am finally at high zone 2, with a level of 52.9 (24 weeks).

Praise God! My only concern is that they are ready to reduce my PIO IM injections to 100 mg. I am nervous to make the change, I have been feeling my best lately. I want that trend to continue!

Grow, little Joseph!

Last night I asked my husband "Do you ever just dream and get so excited about finally getting to meet your son?" He responded by saying "EVERYDAY!" I love it!

We are getting closer, one day at at time.

There is a song by Mark Schultz named "I am". There is a line that had me in tears this morning.

The line is "I am the one who even knew you - Before your birth - Before you were".

Throughout my years of longing for a child or for the children who made it to heaven before me, this song spoke to my heart in such a powerful way. I always found such great consolation in those words of "I knew you before you were".

Today - I was just brought to tears knowing that Joseph has such a special time of being known so intimately by God right now, be loved by God! Yet, God did not just start to love him, he has loved him since before 'he was'. What a blessed time for Joseph. To be intimately known only by God! With this perspective, I find myself not wanting to rush this stage. This is a beautiful time for Joseph and God. Joseph is already experiencing the most beautiful relationship with God! For that, I am forever grateful!

I never knew . . .

how much fun it would be to go to Babies.R.U.s!

We took a little trip this Sunday to visit our godson and his family and while we were there we made a quick (not really quick) visit to the babies.r.us. We were able to find some coordinating pieces for the nursery and I am just so excited to get started in getting everything ready!

We had the best visit with our dear friends and came home with a vehicle full of baby things for Joseph! We now have some (lots) extra sweet baby boy outfits, a great toy that comes with a remote control to play music near their car seat in the car, a baby crib mattress, and a very generous gift of money to use how we wished to prepare for Joseph's arrival. We used some of the money today getting some new blinds for the nursery from Lowes and plan to use some of it to buy the plywood that we need to make the baby's dresser/changing table. My father-in-law is such a skilled carpenter and will be building it for us so all we have to do is buy the plywood and hardware.

I am utterly amazed at the extreme generousity of so many people in caring for our growing family!

In regard to the gestational diabetes, I will be able to talk directly with my doctor about it on Thursday and I am so ready to just be able to monitor my levels. I have made some changes in my diet and it is going ok. Bread and potatoes are my weakness, though, so I can't wait for the nutritionist to put together a plan for me. I think Joseph is having sugar withdrawls :) I know his mommy is!!! At our friends house, it was so hard to eat well. There were kit.kats, twix, chips, ALL oF IT begging me to indulge! Praise God, I had enough inspiration to stay away from it all! I did have some pizza that evening, but tried to balance it with salad. Breakfast is the hardest for me! I am just not always ready to eat in the morning and I never really enjoyed alot of breakfast foods. From what I can tell, I just don't eat enough small meals a day. Fortunately, we have been doing well keeping fresh veggies that I love so that is going to be fine. I am picky about the fruit I like to eat, so we shall see. Overall, I think it will be a good change for our family. I just pray that Joseph remains healthy and has a safe birth.

I was reminded yesterday at how much it has taken for us to get to this point, God has graciously been by our side the whole time and I know He is standing right beside us now.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

Sam & Nicky, pray for us.

Gestational Diabetes

I finally got to talk to the nurse today, who obviously must have been having a rough day, to get the news that my three hour glucose tolerance test still showed elevated blood glucose levels. They were not outrageous numbers from what I could gather from the little bit of information I could get out of her. It was quick call and she was not receptive to questions. I had done a lot of research the night before, so I was more prepared to get the news.

So the plan is they have scripts waiting for me for a glucose monitor and strips and I have to have those scripts filled before I can meet with the nutritionist from the Diabetes Education Dept at the hospital I will be delivering Joseph.

I think that I was barely over the line, but in all honesty I am just relieved that my doctor got me tested early and will be monitoring us even more closely. I do admit I am a bit sad at having another complication with this pregnancy.

It took us 9 1/2 years to get to this miracle pregnancy.

We have two precious babies in heaven.

I have been dealing with less than optimal progesterone levels and beleive that the supplementation has helped a great deal with keeping this pregnancy going, yet I know it all comes down to the will of God!

I have just been diagnosed with anemia, which I am now taking iron meds for that changing how my stomach is handling things.

I have just realized that my thyroid is not fuctioning as it should and it is not even the part of the thyroid that we have been managing care of for the past 3 years.

I have dealt with a less that typical desire for food and have not gained much weight, but this past week have been packing it on. All of the sudden, I am just feeling like I am growing so large when I was already large. It is starting to get uncomfortable and I (hopefully) have a long way to go.

To top it all off - I just started a pretty decent job when all of these new issues have started to arise. The weirdest thing is that now is when I am just starting to have more energy and starting to not have so many feelings of discomfort in certain areas. For the past two days I have been having the extra iron in my system and taking the synthroid. Today I woke up bright eyed and busy tailed before my husband, made his lunch, ate breakfast, caught up on blogs, and then headed to work, worked a full day, went to dinner with my husband and then came home and crashed. I could not have done that a few weeks ago!!! Major improvement. I was thinking that my progesterone levels were the reason I was starting to feel better, but it seems that it is a big puzzle figuring out what will make this a successful pregnancy for me and for a healthy, live birth for Joseph.

The best part of today . . . . Joseph kicking his Daddy! He said he felt him move the other night, but today, Daddy really got to feel a strong kick right under his palm!

God, please keep your hand of protection on Joseph and help me to be the best mommy I could be to protect this little boy growing right under my heart!

Low is a nice way to say FAIL

How is that for a title?

Yesterday I did the 1 hour glucose test, iron test, thyroid test, and the progesterone draw. I seriously felt like I had an encounter with a vampire! I was wiped out after that, but still went in to work and worked for the next seven hours. I have no idea how I made it through the day. In fact, there were some touch and go moments. I fasted for the draws, so I made sure I grabbed something to eat on the way back to the office. I did not feel so well, but I pushed through mainly sick to my stomach with nausea. I had the weirdest side effect though. I was doing alot of computer work and my right eye seemed to have a black cloud in half of my line of vision. It was scary and it lasted until I went for lunch and once I ate, I felt better.

It was then that I knew I would not hear good results from that glucose test. I had a gut feeling that I will have to do that crazy, miserable 3 hour test.

Then I got a call from Dr. H's office that I missed and when I tried to call back, they were gone for the day. I knew that something had to be wrong my blood results right then. They did not leave a messgae, so I had to wonder about it all night. I knew that they got the results from all my tests except the progesterone, so I was thankfully relieved to not worry about that.

I then head back to work today and first thing when my local ob's office opened I get a call from them telling me that all of the tests I did yesterday were not the best results. A huge not in my stomach formed. Just great.

It turns out my t4 levels were really low (.6), my iron was really low, and that I failed the 1 hour glucose test and would need to do the 3 hour test tomorrow so it would be done before my next appointment with my local ob on 9/9/10. I am not looking foward to it. I remember doing just the two hour test for insulin resistance for Dr. H and was completely wiped out!

So my local doctor told me also told to find a local doctor to manage my thyroid and called me out a Rx for iron. That should really help my fouled up bowels. Just kidding.

So later on in the afternoon, Dr. H's office calls me back and he is concerned about something I did not even know was tested. Apparently that tested my white blood cell count and it was elevated. They did there normal alarming series of questions that makes your freak out about having preterm labor. I have to f/u with my local doctor to ensure there is no UTI or something even though I really don't feel sick or have an infection. I do have days of sinus issues which give me a slight temp, but otherwise I have been feeling better. I do stay tired, but even that was showing some improvement. Working is hard, but I was finding I was doing better every day.

So while I have Dr. H's nurse on the phone I asked her all of my questions and told them I was told to find a doctor to manage my thyroid. She explained to me that t4 has a completely different function to do than the t3, so even though I will still have to stop the t3 meds at 28 weeks, discontinuing that Rx would not affect the t4 levels. I also verified with her what Dr. H believes would be the best time to discontinue the GlucophageXR 1000 mg that I take daily at bedtime. I asked her to ask him directly about this questions because I needed reassurance and direction on what to do.

The nurse from PPVI called me back about 40 minutes later to tell me that he says to stay on the Glucophage throughout the pregnancy and that he is prescribing a synthroid (sp?) for me to take one time a day (in the morning) for the duration of the pregnancy. She reminded me once again to stop the t3 at 28 weeks. Whew. That is alot to take in all in one day. So, I stayed in town until both Rxs were ready.

I tried to not be stressed about it all, but thoughts of worry about why my body seems to be so freaking defective were hard to fend off. I ended up going to the fabric store to look around while I waited for the pharmacy to fill my scripts. I am walking pharmacy - I feel like a lab rat!

The best part of the day was looking for beautiful fabic. I was looking for something that would complement the skirt and bumper I found months ago for the nursery. I found a beautiful swatch, but it still doesn't seem to match!! I still love the fabric, though. I have a wonderful friend who offered to help me make a valence for the room and I would make a little comforter with the same fabric. Only time will tell.

Overall, I am in good spirits. I am so thankful that I can feel Joseph move, that helps to calm my worst fears. The really good thing is that I have two awesome doctors managing my care to promote the best possible health for Joseph and I.

My husband is feeling the stress. He is worried. He got aggravated about the thyroid junk because we all thought it was being managed with the t3 meds. but that just goes to show you that I don't understand the functions of my thyroid very well. Feel free to enlighten me!

Prayers and blessings to you all! My prayers continue for each of you every day!

St. Jospeh, pray for us.

St. Therese, pray for us.

St. Gianna, pray for us.

St. Gerard, pray for us.

St. Elizabeth, pray for us.

St. Ann, pray for us.

St. Veronica, pray for us.

Spiritual Bouquet

This is for all our sisters in Christ who are in the midst of their struggle with infertility, and loss. Know that you have our continued support, love, and prayers.