This & That . . .

So much has been happening, but I am determined to not be derailed by the terrible situations and focus most of my energy on all the good stuff!!!!!   J and I went to a healing mass last night.  I did not have to beg for him to come, but in all honesty, he was skeptical at first and I told him that we would be the only ones under 35 and we were besides the children who went with their families J   It was nothing that we expected, but we got to receive and adore Jesus!!!!  Amazing.  The priest came from Rwanda and God has graced him in a very special way.  He had 18 members of his family die from the genocide.    He preached about forgiveness.  He even talked about having to forgive God when we wonder where was God when all of these terrible events happen in our lives.   I prayed for so many people – all of my friends who struggle with infertility, pregnancy loss, or adoption loss as well as those waiting to adopt and all those will have to carry this cross in the future!  I prayed for a dear friend who had an injured arm and will have surgery this week and then I prayed for my father in law with his leg pains.  I prayed for my Mom and all of my family who are experiencing medical problems and I prayed for myself and my husband to one day celebrate a new child conceived and destined for our family!  I went in with my right area/ovary area feeling a bit like it was burning and that is the only way I could describe it.  It was not really burning, but there was something definite going on in there.  Throughout the mass, I sensed relief.  I don't know what will come of it, but I do know that I found healing for my spirit and in dealing with the craziness I have with some of the difficult relationships in my life.  Oh, I wante to add that at the end, the priest said that somehow by the grace of God he can hear the prayers for healing that we asked for and he then listed some of the prayers he heard and asked people to acknowleged their prayers.  I kept waiting to see if my prayer was heard.  He mentioned the two things about my fil an friend and then later he said that "couples who has sexual diseases (I am guessing this would include IF related illnesses) were healed by God.  Praying!!!!   J and I are in a happy place.  We have been laughing so much and this was the first cycle that I haven't been wanting to throw myself under a bus when cd 1 came and I had no baby to look forward too.  I don't feel the need to give up, but last night I was brought to tears that I have a beautiful womb and a very worrisome tube.  IVF would seem like such a solution if I hadn't been formed to know that it negates the procreative power of God and the life-giving offer our ourselves as spouses in love.   We are super excited about taking a trip to WDW and it can't come soon enough!  Actually it is JUST around the corner!!!  This opportunity has given us a new lease on life and trusting that God's plans are better!  We have been talking about other things not related to IF or adoption.  Not that these are bad things, it is just that we need a break from it!!   The situation at work has taken a turn and I don't know what will come of it.  I keep trying to trust that I did the best that I could with what I had to work with and that it took courage to ask for outside help.  They offered us to have mediation and we have to agree on a mediator.  They gave us four choices.  The situation was very hard to accept yesterday and I was sad and then upset at how I was treated when I was told about this plan.  I keep trusting that "God is with me".  "I set before you life & death, blessings and curses; CHOOSE LIFE, so that you and your children will live!"  Deuteronomy 30:19