Bewildered

I am so confused with my charting. So confused with my body signals. Today is cd35, p+14 (from what we marked at p), and I did see the slightest bit of pink today so we can't count it as cd 1 yet. I am having odd issues with the girls being super sensitive. I don't know if this has something to do with a new pms symptom developing or what. I just know that I am so tired. Just drained from all of this hoping, wondering, and just plain wanting to be a mother to a baby right now. Although, that may not be what God desires for me. He may have just needed us to get those two precious souls to heaven.

I am really ready to move on, figure out a new game plan. Not stop ttc. Just broaden my life and bring in other things/people/missions to enhance all that I offer to God.

My sweet husband was so very hoepful for this cycle and mentioned after mass yesterday saying that "signs" were everywhere answering his prayers that now is not hte time to give up. Wow, my heart just about broke right then and there with not having the best body parts in all the world to offer to him and growing our family. He doesn't often talk like this and his hope was just so full, holy, and annointed. Wow.

The last two nights we had our J's parent's over and we played 'wahoo'. It gets pretty heated up with the girls against the guys, but it has been just what the doctor ordered - bringing us lots of laughter and dispeling our worries. Praise God, he always knows when to send us good gifts!

Let us keep praying for Mrs.blondies! I remember my first night after the second surgery and that the pain was really hard to bear, thank goodness for the comforting pain pump ;) It was walking for the first time that was so hard, so keep her in your prayers and that all of the nurses been very kind to her!