Yesterday I was working on preparing a prayer service for something that will be on the eve of the Feast of the Annunciation and as I was typing the scriptures down for the hand out, these words jumped out at me: The Lord raises the needy from the dust, lifts the poor from the ash heap, Seats them with princes, the princes of the people. Gives the childless wife a home, the joyful mother of children." (Psalm 1137-9)
This scripture brought tears to my eyes. First of all, just that morning I had take begged God to bring me my period bc I just could not handle if my body reverted back to doing completely abnormal things. I felt like I just could not deal with that in the midst of another negative pregnancy test. I knew that I could handle the not being pregnant yet this cycle, but I really needed to have a new beginning with a new cycle. Well, God did answer my prayers this morning. I was so relieved. What a turnaround???? I cannot even imagine the difference or transformation of different reactions to cd1.
Part of this plea to God was because when I sent in my temps and pulses to Dr. H on Wed. and then I sent in my chart bc I still was having odd mucus patterns and it was completely different from any other cycle I have ever had. The nurse could not give me any encouragement and just told me to wait and see. I asked her if she could give me any ideas what is going on and she literally said "No, I cannot give you any encouragement right now bc we just need to wait and see what happens. Call us if you go past cd 35." Yesterday was cd 35. Can you see why I was pleading with God to let me start a new cycle.
Anyway, this scripture just sent me in an almost downward spiral. Then I immediately took a break and went and sat with Jesus in the adoration chapel for a few minutes. My heart eventually calmed down quickly. I only had a 15 min break, so I was thankful.
Praying for all of us on this journey of transformation from being childless wives into the joyful mothers of children!!!
I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time. I'm glad that you were able to turn immediately to adoration - what a blessing! And I'm glad for you that last cycle is over - hopefully this cycle you'll have a clear peak day! I'm sorry I never posted to you're slacker post - sometimes I'm a bit of a slacker as well - I'm guessing that everyone is from time to time. Peak day is always a little hard to discern with me because I have peak type mucus post peak every month.
ReplyDeleteHang in there - you're in my prayers!
LIM, could you e-mail me? I have a question about something you posted on Sew's blog... advice, I guess on something. Thanks. (My e-mail is linked on my blog).
ReplyDeleteDon't you worry about not emailing me back! :) I completely understand!!! xxoo!!! You had me laughing on your comment on LH blog! OH MY GOSH! I was crying!
ReplyDelete:) :) :) :)
What a beautiful scripture that fills me with so much hope. Sometimes we have to FORCE ourselves to remember that God is in the business of doing miracles on this earth, and that we only have to trust that He will bring it when the time is right, and in His way.
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful soul. I have never met you but that is evident in your daily live experiences with others and the reflections that come from your heart.
You will be a tender, nurturing mother one day ... may the Lord sustain you in His love until then.