Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Prayers Needed
I don't know why but I am really struggling with faith today. Faith that God is leading me and I am following him. I am battling a war of spirits right now and having a difficult time keeping my mouth shut and kind at work today. Not good for working for the Lord and the people of God. Please pray. I am not in a good place and I don't even know what to think of my cycle anymore or any remote chance I will ever be blessed with children. I just keep discovering that DH and I share different dreams and it is stressing me out. I don't even have the will to argue anymore. I have been devoting so much more time to prayer and I can see why. I need all of the armor of God for this battle surrounding me. God will deliver me from this darkness. I keep thinking that I am on the verge of being surrounded by miracles, but I have to surrender this time to make it there. There is nothing essentially wrong with my husband, we just have differend opinions on adoption and this is so hard for me to accept. I may be making this so big and to God it is all part of his plan and that he wants us to have children through my own life-giving womb. I don't know, but it is not making it any easier to understand. I just feel that ever since I have completely started to make a determined attempt to step up my prayer life and devotion to a sacramental marriage and my life-giving vocation, I have been bombarded! Literally! I need my sword and shield. Just saying it all relieving in a way. I try so hard to have a good attitude and I am so sensitive that just the demenor of a person near me can change my perception. I know this is not of God and I have to figure out a way to handle it.
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Marriage sure it hard huh? It takes so much work. I would suggest talking to your husband, let him know how your feeling. Maybe he'll need some time to process your thoughts or maybe he'll be able to tell you how he's feeling. Men and woman are so different.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck with everything!
I will try and offer up my suffering for your husband's heart on adoption. (trust me, there's still lots of suffering from this flu bug!)
ReplyDeleteI did have a thought, though. Try and find some really cool adoption blogs online, with extra cute kids. Let him peruse those blogs to see what adoption really looks like, not what is in his head, that is probably based on fear or misconceptions about adoption.
I can't imagine the difficulty when you don't agree with your spouse on adoption. I pray you will both come together in God's time.
Remember, God has a perfect plan for your family, and He is leading you there, step by step.
Life I am so sorry! This happened to me on Friday! I was all alone and DH was out of town and all of a sudden I was bombarded with thoughts of my husband cheating on me. At one point I started to believe those nasty thoughts. I know my DH was not cheating on me, or ever would cheat on me, but it was an attack on the devil.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are able to differentiate. Of course he would want to attack a solid Catholic marriage! Keep your head up!
We can pull out our uterus together, I am always up for that!
Wow, it is hard to keep the fighting against the evil one, isn't it? Let the graces of the Lord flow onto your marriage! Sounds like you need some marrital bonding...how about you come up with 3 things that are bonding and let your DH come up with 3 things and rank them together and do at least one tonight!
ReplyDeleteI'm lifting you up in prayer tonight, friend.
ReplyDelete