Sunday, February 15, 2009
Healing Graces
Just a quick update to say that I am feeling better. A little more balanced. I also was reminded this morning to be a imitator of Christ in all things. I think yesterday was my day of sweating blood . . .in my venting, crying, and screaming at the reality that is my life. All day today I felt ashamed for my lack of faith, selfishness, and inability to be happy with the gifts I do have in my life. I was so ashamed of my behavior yesterday. So this morning I went to confession and I expained my shame and sin of being so angry with God and any offensive, faithless comments I may have said in my sadness and bitterness. I just felt like such I was showing no faith in God's healing plan for my life. My priest simply said that he would like for me to never think of my self as lacking faith or being lukewarm as I experience these emotions. He acknowledged that this is hard and then gave me absolution. Let me also say that the tears have been fewer today. Except for when I was in cofession and at the beginning of Mass. Graces were abounding today! Praise the Lord to whom all good blessings flow!
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Oh I'm so glad that you are feeling better!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to experience the healing of reconciliation... I missed Mass last week and couldn't make it to confession yet. I am REALLY lacking the physical person of Christ in my soul right now, so I'm going to try to stalk my priest tomorrow and get him to give me a quick confessional. I always feel just as you described after being absolved.
Sorry to hear that you had a rough Saturday. I certainly have had my share of them. It is good to know that today things are better and brighter for you. What your priest says is true, you are worthy and I believe that everyone has emotions like this at different times and trials in their life. It is how God is able to shine His light for us. Hold onto that faith, it is certainly remarkable. There is such peace about your blogging that I feel when I read it. It gives me a lot of inspiration to keep going and moving forward through the trials that I face. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings,
Stacey
The power of confession! I would die without it! :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you feel better! The red stain is a crashing of dreams that hope envokes every single month! I hate it! ;)
I honestly can tell you though each month I get so excited for you! Even though it doesn't turn out the way we hope, it truly is fun and hopeful! :)
Gosh...I can't count the times IF has put me in the confessional. the patient priests listen and try to give me spiritual "er". They give me some suggestions and often tell me not to give up. One priest told me that when he talks about good couples not being able to have children...he is often talking about my hubby and I. Last time we talked, he told me to save as much money as I can and go the International route for adoption. That route is just not in our hearts right now. We talk about foster care but then we hear some awful foster story and then we question if that is right for us. We just keep praying and hoping for our answer...whatever that may be. Blessings!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you are feeling better!! I hope your spirtits are still high.
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