It is just so hard to be on the IF roller coaster for this long!
It is draining to get great blood results and know that it could mean very little in helping you achieve your dream.
It is not that I am losing hope for this cycle or of ever having a BFP or even of growing our family through the miracle of adoption. I am just so over disappointing my husband. He is so hopeful, I am too. Not that I am disappointing him myself, the inability for the two of us to get a BFP is disappointing the two of us.
I am just so hopeful, yet so reserved. There is some mild cramping going on on the left side mainly. It is not bad, just present. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! I am claiming that right now!
I forgot to mention that J got me the most beautiful Christmas gift!!!!!! A beautiful white & yellow gold dragonfly necklace. I was so suprised! He is always so thoughtful in choosing a gift :)
Note: the pic is from our recent trip and the other is one of us from Christmas eve!
What a beautiful necklace! J did a good job!
ReplyDeleteI think that feeling you are letting your husband down every time a new cycle starts is one of the hardest thing about IF. I'm praying for you and Happy New Years!
Awww. cute picture of the 2 of you!
ReplyDeleteI love the Dragonfly and I know that has special meaning to you.
I dread the day when I have no hope left. I think it means a little part of you has died. I'm so with you and know how I always approace "hope" with kid gloves and try to protect myself, BUT hope is so important. Be proud of yourself when you have it. It could be a bfp and, if not, look at the hope of how things are improving. I OV'd on CD 66 and my RE couldn't believe that I was impressed with that. It wasn't great and it didn't end in a PG (was on a ttc break anyway), but the fact that my body actually worked (a) right after a m/c; and (b) in a much shorter time than usual, gave me hope that things were improving.
Mrs. Blondies - Thanks for the prayers! Enjoy your New Year's celebration in your hometown!
ReplyDeleteAnn,
You are right, hope is what keeps us going. I am trying to find hope in the little things! It is true that we are so happy when there is just one thing our body does right :) Happy New Years! I hope that it is full of many blessing!
I just love thoughtful hubbies! I'm sure you'll smile when you wear and touch that necklace. Kuddo's to your dh for getting you something that is so special and close to your heart.
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