f/u doctor's appt

Today was okay. It helped that my mom was with me today. My doctor's office waiting room was as terrible as I anticipated. Once they called me back, they put me in the ultrasound room, so there were a few tears there. Then another short wait for the doctor, but once he came in, he took his time with me and answered all of my questions. I asked him what all of it looked like and he showed me the pictures from the surgery. He had taken one of my ruptured tube before he removed it along (I don't want to go into too many details, there are painful to share and to hear)with what it looked like after the removal of the tube and the baby (although they refer to it as tissue). I asked him how this recent surgery would affect my overall fertility and he explained that I probably will have a 25% less likely chance to conceive again. So given the fact that Dr. Hilgers said I had a 90% chance to conceive in 12-18 months following my Sept 08 surgery, that would mean I would have about a 60% chance to conceive agian. Is that likely? I hope so. I really do, even though I am feeling scared to get pregnant again. Maybe I will feel different in a few months. Let's hope and pray so.
When I explained to the doctor that I was having trouble going to sleep at night and he gave me a low-dose sleep medicine that is anti-anxiety med. I am very cautious to take anything that would be habit forming. Yet I am thankful that he was understanding of where I was coming from. He listened very well and patiently. I explained that I would go to be tired, but lay awake for about 3 hours before falling asleep and that it was hard for me to dispel memories of the day I was sick when I am in my bedroom bc that is where all of the drama happened. I do find myself feeling better everyday though. He did say however that I could experience the "baby blues" or post-partum emotions. He wants me to be very clear with him about how I am feeling so he can monitor this, though. We talked about the stages of grief and he seems to believe that the emotions I am feeling is normal bc I did experience the loss of a pregnancy.
I do have to say you all gave me such great support, along with the support of my family and friends, that I feel so encouraged to just let nature take its course, especially with the grieving process. Thank you all for your suggestions to help me in prayer. I did pray a decade of the rosary last night. I kept focusing on the annunciation. It helped me to ponder the thoughts of Mary as she was surely confused as to what the future held for her.
On a side note, I am about to drive my sweet husband crazy with all of the talk about my fears, struggles, and worries. I am going to start journaling again soon. I believe it will help.
God's blessings to you all and thank you for your prayers!