Freaking out with Update

Update: Our test was negative and I would be amiss to not share that this was very disappointing news for both of us. I am not really suprised . . . I have been on NO medications. Nothing. I was just very hopeful and while there are a million and one reasons to say that, ideally, we are not ready to add to our family just yet, I was praying so hard that God had other plans!! I am one blessed girl, I get to love my little guy lots tonight and snuggle close and remember just what a beautiful miracle he is to my heart every single day of my life!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I am sitting here just plain freaking out. I need to remind myself that fear is not from God. Over the Christmas holidays I slept . . . alot. Jessy was home and I figured I was just catching up on my rest. Got the baby to sleep in his crib also helped the situation. Then my sense of smell hit an all time high recently. Then I cried . . . cried big time over something on the Tod.ay show yesterday. Then my top ladyparts were so sore, sore enough to wear two bras because the pain seemed unreal. Then I did the inevitable. I took a test. Last night, it was negative. I took another one this morning. It did not work. I went back to bed until Joseph woke up. When we both woke up I saw that the test showed a faint positive. But lo and behold it was after the 10 min. window of opportunity. I desperately want another baby. I am simply terrified of EVERYTHING!!! Of possibly losing a baby that I am not sure exists yet. I am achy, have a backache and crampy stomache. Please join me in prayer. On a sidenote, I did not have any more tests to use, so I asked my hubby to pick up one at Wal-mart but he forgot. So he stopped at the dollar store due to my pleading and I told him no one would know him. Well after he asks the lady for some she says they are out and as he is walking away she asks him "Are you from Hayes?" hahaha