Reflections on the shower & more

I was so very emotional on the day of the shower for Baby Joseph. I remember thinking that for the last 10 years, I have gone to nearly every single baby shower for family and friends with tears in my eyes and my emotions on my sleeves and I am now going to one for our baby in the exact same emotional state.

I really never anticipated that the wonder and awe of reaching this moment in my life would create such a wide array of emotions, so I was surprised. I even had my husband take some time to pray a blessing over Joseph and I before we left home and he anointed us with Holy Water with the blessing. My heart did flip flops the whole way there and I was able to pray 2 rosaries while going there. I even had some extra time, so I went to my favorite little adoration chapel and prayed prayers of thanksgiving for baby Joseph and for the journey that led us to him. I prayed prayers for our blogging community and anyone who was suffering that day with the reality of loss and less than ideal fertility.

I remember walking in feeling like Sam and Nicky were both right there beside me, while Joseph rested peacefully under my heart. I cried. My tears caused others to cry - all tears of joy! Joy from being able to celebrate life! Joy to be able to celebrate new beginning! Joy from many answered prayers. The room was filled with the loving presence of my family's prayer warriors, that alone was worth celebrating!

Joseph's very existence shows the world that God does create goodness and joy from suffering and ashes. A year ago, I was suffering so much from the emotional grief of anticipating the arrival of our expected due date for Nicky that I was unbearable to be around. My focus was on God, but I could not find joy for a long time as I begged him to reveal his plan for our family and why it was necessary for my husband and I to suffer such a tragic loss after waiting so long for new life to be conceived from our love. It was on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe last year, 12-12-09, that God poured out his grace and mercy on me and allowed to me to experience peace in a very real way and approach the upcoming celebration of the birth of his Son, Jesus, with great and true joy. Now, nearly one year later, I am writing this feeling a growing boy in my womb. As undeserving as we are to be his parents, we are so grateful to know him so intimately already just because our love for him is already so great. I can't even imagine how much more in love we are going to be with him once we are able to know him even more fully and see in him the image of our God.

Still waiting, still trusting, and still filled with hope that we will meet this little guy soon and watch him grow up!

God, our Father, you are the author of life. We praise you and thank you for the life of Joseph and for preparing us to be his parents. We ask for your grace to be holy as we lead him to know you! Amen.

Sidenote:

I can't seem to get the pictures from the shower uploaded here, so if you are fb friends with me, you can find them there! Blessings to you all!