I got to hear our babe's gorgeous heartbeat today!!!
PRAISE GOD!
There was no ultrasound today, so my doctor was hoping to be able to find the babe's heartbeat with just the fetal doppler. At first, she was unable to find it because there was so much static on the little machine. I prayed as I layed on that table and then praise God - Little Bit's heartbeat came out loud and clear! It was miraculous! I was crying, I was so happy! I am just amazed that there is a baby growing in there! I was able to have my aunt (the one who is like a mom to me, but unable to have children of her own) with me and she cried tears of joy today, too! It was so special for her and the very first time she got to ever hear a baby still in the womb's heartbeat! Like I have always said, this baby was not just an answered prayer for my husband and I, but for so many people in my family and beyond. This baby is already changing people's hearts for God!! My aunt told me today that she would sometimes forget to pray during the day because she would get distracted, so she set an alarm at her phone to remind her to pray everyday! I told her that was a great idea and then she told me that she started that when she found out this little baby was coming and so she prays everyday at 10am for the baby and us! God, I knew our child would be an answer many prayers and I thank you for this gift!
My body has changed quite a bit, my belly was always big, but it has changed shapes dramatically and I find it so funny! I have been having such a change in eating patterns (not much of an appetite or just craving healthier choices) so I was pleasantly suprised today that my weight is less now than it was a few weeks ago. I am about the same weight I was for my two surgeries with Dr. H, but now I am 15 weeks pregnant, so I am pleased. I am wearing some maternity clothes and still wearing a few of my stretchy pants! I have always been really well endowed in my chest, but my belly is now poking out further than my chest. It is really weird to see, I am loving ever bit of it! Running to the bathroom has become less frequent and the nasea is improving. I struggled with a terrible headache/sinus problems, but I finally gave in a took a tylenol tonight and feel a relief from the pounding in my temples.
It rained all day here! I was driving home in the rain, could barely see through the windshield, and dealing with a pounding headache so I was praying so hard to just make it home! As soon as I did, I took a hot shower (I forgot to say that before I could drive home I had to get gas in the whipping rain and was wet and messy) and then I was able to relax and do some chores while I was waiting for my meat to defrost for dinner! Thank God, my husband came home and helped me cut it up! I hate the smell of raw meat these days :)
Tomorrow is our 10th Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!
I love my husband so much and everyday is a gift when I get to wake up to his warm embrace :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Exhausted!!!
I am so tired. I did not get home until 8 pm!!
I know that is probably nothing for others, but for me it was pushing it! I was up early, worked a full day, ran a few errands, and then visited my mom at the hospital. We ended up eating wendy's because we did not feel up to cooking!
Today was my last day. I will go back for a few hours on Thurday and Friday to volunteer to train my replacement. Yes, I know this is insane, but I don't know how to say "no".
My doctor's appointment is tomorrow. Praise God! I need to see that this baby is okay :)
I wish I would not be so prone to worry and fear. I am doing better, but sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night worried. So, in all honesty, I am nervous but I keep telling myself that I have been worried before and I was miraculously suprised that the baby was growing like they should!
Have I mentioned that I am so ready to find out if our baby is a boy or girl! I am go happy and can't wait to call them by the name we have chosen!!
St. Therese, St. Gianna, St. Gerard, St. Joseph, and St. Veronica pray for us! Nicky and Sam, pray for us!
I know that is probably nothing for others, but for me it was pushing it! I was up early, worked a full day, ran a few errands, and then visited my mom at the hospital. We ended up eating wendy's because we did not feel up to cooking!
Today was my last day. I will go back for a few hours on Thurday and Friday to volunteer to train my replacement. Yes, I know this is insane, but I don't know how to say "no".
My doctor's appointment is tomorrow. Praise God! I need to see that this baby is okay :)
I wish I would not be so prone to worry and fear. I am doing better, but sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night worried. So, in all honesty, I am nervous but I keep telling myself that I have been worried before and I was miraculously suprised that the baby was growing like they should!
Have I mentioned that I am so ready to find out if our baby is a boy or girl! I am go happy and can't wait to call them by the name we have chosen!!
St. Therese, St. Gianna, St. Gerard, St. Joseph, and St. Veronica pray for us! Nicky and Sam, pray for us!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
7 Quick Takes
Everyone seems to be doing these lately and since I have so many random thoughts going through my head, I thought I would give a try, so here goes:
1. I hurt my shoulder somehow yesterday. I could not sleep comfortably. It seems to be getting better, but I have been storming heaven for help with this. I do not want anything else to be wrong with me!! I should have ice on it right now, I will have to get to that soon!
2. I had to do a blood draw on Tuesday, but it was only after I took my night dose of the compounded progesterone that I remembered I was supposed to skip it to get a true reading of my progesterone level. I was too nervous from thinking my progesterone levels were plummenting, I did the draw anyway and was going to tell the nurse that I accidently took the pill the night before thinking that it would not really make that huge of a difference. Humility - enter here!!! The nurse made the call to me today to tell me that my progesterone levels looked so good I could stop the oral progesterone meds. Then I tell her my mistake and it was like I could here "SHAME ON YOU!!!" The level with the meds still in my system was 32.9! Now I can't even feel relieved because I don't know how long the meds stay in my system. It was about 12 hours between the draw and the last dose, so if there are any great ideas that might be able to bring me peace, please share!
3. I just told my husband that my blood pressure must be so much better these days because I am working in such a more pleasant work environment. My character has been tested in fire, but I am still here, so I think all is well. I only have four more working days there. They asked me to come back and train my replacement and I clearly told them I could not do that. The reason I can't do that is because my insurance runs out on June 30, 2010. I need to qualify for LAMOMS and we can just barely make the financial cut-off with just my husband's income at only 40 hours a week. It I keep bringing in any type of income we will be over the limit. It is like a catch 22. We need money and I am capable of working right now and willing to help, but the need to qualify for maternity care is paramount right now. Please pray that we can qualify for that. The only back up plan I have to go to the awesome doctor who offered to provide free medical care for me and the baby, but that will not include hospital costs, etc. So anyway, I have put together a training binder to help the new person out. All the people in the office will be NEW and no one else really knows how the system works. I hav been able to help train the new Assistant Director, but I could only do what I could. There is so much to learn and it will take awhile!
4. I have been such a lazy bum. I barely return calls or texts because I am just so wiped out all the time. I go to bed early every night! I don't get naps since I leave around 7 am and don't get home until 5:30 pm daily. I know that will change soon, so we will see what will happen then :)
5. This will make most of you laugh! I was telling someone today that we where we live they will NOT deliver mail to our home, like in a REAL mailbox. They make us have post office box and every year we have to verify that we still live at our residence because since the post office box is mandatory, it is FREE! It is one of my biggest pet peeves about where I live!
6. Today was a cooler day outside, only 88 degrees. It have been around 98 degrees but it felt like 105! The humidity will wear one out quicky!
7. My husband and I will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary! We have a free night at any hotel of our choice, so we are thinking of taking a short trip to celebrate our anniversary the weekend after which happens to fall on the fourth of july weekend! As soon as my husband mentioned this possible trip, I started to remember celebrating the 4th of July in Omaha in 2008!!! Omaha really knows how to celebrate our Independence Day! It was two days after my surgery (the lap with Hilgers), so I was working of moving around pretty well and we went and grabbed some good food and then watched all of the fireworks!! It was the most fireworks I had ever seen in one night, it was just fabulous!!! So not all memories of Omaha were painful ones ;)
1. I hurt my shoulder somehow yesterday. I could not sleep comfortably. It seems to be getting better, but I have been storming heaven for help with this. I do not want anything else to be wrong with me!! I should have ice on it right now, I will have to get to that soon!
2. I had to do a blood draw on Tuesday, but it was only after I took my night dose of the compounded progesterone that I remembered I was supposed to skip it to get a true reading of my progesterone level. I was too nervous from thinking my progesterone levels were plummenting, I did the draw anyway and was going to tell the nurse that I accidently took the pill the night before thinking that it would not really make that huge of a difference. Humility - enter here!!! The nurse made the call to me today to tell me that my progesterone levels looked so good I could stop the oral progesterone meds. Then I tell her my mistake and it was like I could here "SHAME ON YOU!!!" The level with the meds still in my system was 32.9! Now I can't even feel relieved because I don't know how long the meds stay in my system. It was about 12 hours between the draw and the last dose, so if there are any great ideas that might be able to bring me peace, please share!
3. I just told my husband that my blood pressure must be so much better these days because I am working in such a more pleasant work environment. My character has been tested in fire, but I am still here, so I think all is well. I only have four more working days there. They asked me to come back and train my replacement and I clearly told them I could not do that. The reason I can't do that is because my insurance runs out on June 30, 2010. I need to qualify for LAMOMS and we can just barely make the financial cut-off with just my husband's income at only 40 hours a week. It I keep bringing in any type of income we will be over the limit. It is like a catch 22. We need money and I am capable of working right now and willing to help, but the need to qualify for maternity care is paramount right now. Please pray that we can qualify for that. The only back up plan I have to go to the awesome doctor who offered to provide free medical care for me and the baby, but that will not include hospital costs, etc. So anyway, I have put together a training binder to help the new person out. All the people in the office will be NEW and no one else really knows how the system works. I hav been able to help train the new Assistant Director, but I could only do what I could. There is so much to learn and it will take awhile!
4. I have been such a lazy bum. I barely return calls or texts because I am just so wiped out all the time. I go to bed early every night! I don't get naps since I leave around 7 am and don't get home until 5:30 pm daily. I know that will change soon, so we will see what will happen then :)
5. This will make most of you laugh! I was telling someone today that we where we live they will NOT deliver mail to our home, like in a REAL mailbox. They make us have post office box and every year we have to verify that we still live at our residence because since the post office box is mandatory, it is FREE! It is one of my biggest pet peeves about where I live!
6. Today was a cooler day outside, only 88 degrees. It have been around 98 degrees but it felt like 105! The humidity will wear one out quicky!
7. My husband and I will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary! We have a free night at any hotel of our choice, so we are thinking of taking a short trip to celebrate our anniversary the weekend after which happens to fall on the fourth of july weekend! As soon as my husband mentioned this possible trip, I started to remember celebrating the 4th of July in Omaha in 2008!!! Omaha really knows how to celebrate our Independence Day! It was two days after my surgery (the lap with Hilgers), so I was working of moving around pretty well and we went and grabbed some good food and then watched all of the fireworks!! It was the most fireworks I had ever seen in one night, it was just fabulous!!! So not all memories of Omaha were painful ones ;)
Monday, June 21, 2010
SIX
I have only six more working days left!!!!
I am so ready to be done, not to miss the income, but to just not have to deal with the drama and craziness!
I have to admit I am very anxious about the future in regard to being able to pay the bills without my income, but I am trying to take it all one day at a time.
I look foward to being able to take care of little bit and myself!
Yesterday was a bit scary because I thought that I saw some spotting. It was barely nothing and I told my husband if I called the doctor she would tell me to relax. Funny how specific our prayers can get sometimes. I was asking God to please keep my cervix CLOSED and to keep my progesterone levels up enough so that this baby LIVES!!! So we missed mass and I crawled back in bed for awhile and just slept off the anxiousness. I did have a few stretching pains (I hope that is what it was) and I mainly get them getting in/out of bed. Later that day, I read that at this stage, sudden changes in positioning can make you stretch more. I don't know, but I did feel comforted by it. After a couple of hours we did go see my father-in-law and my step-dad for Father's Day! It turned out to be a beautiful day, but I did stay anxious most of the day. I try not to talk about the anxiety I am experiencing because I don't even want to put it all in words because I don't want to appear unbelieving in God's miracles and ability to see us through to a live birth to this precious child!
Please allow me a moment to brag . . .
(beware - mushy stuff ahead related to celebrating my husband on Father's Day)
My mom and aunt did something very special for my husband for this Father's Day. They each bought him a card and my mom got him a girl's outfit and a boy's outfit that with a cute qoute about their daddy. I was most suprised and pleased by his reaction! It made my day ;) He was just thrilled and on cloud nine saying that sometimes "I am still having a hard time believing this is really happening!" Beautiful!
I got him a special flashlight (the man loves flashlights) and a cute baby gown that says "I love my Daddy." The flashlight represented that he is a guiding light for our family! I also said a Novena to Saint Joseph (thanks Mrs. Blondies) for my sweet husband and ended it on Father's Day.
I really was very aware of how hurtful Father's Day can be for those who have lost their father or for Fathers who have lost their children and especially for those couples who struggle like we did for so many years with the desire to become a Father. I felt bad about missing mass yesterday, but my husband did not. I think he was still not really wanting to go to church for Father's Day because all of it is still so fresh . . . all of the pain, all of the desire to be a dad. I did not push the issue, but I do beleive that he is thrilled about what is on the horizon - but we are still painfully aware that we are still early in the pregnancy and we can take NOTHING for granted.
Dearest Abba,
I ask you to bless our family with trust in your divine will! AMEN.
I am so ready to be done, not to miss the income, but to just not have to deal with the drama and craziness!
I have to admit I am very anxious about the future in regard to being able to pay the bills without my income, but I am trying to take it all one day at a time.
I look foward to being able to take care of little bit and myself!
Yesterday was a bit scary because I thought that I saw some spotting. It was barely nothing and I told my husband if I called the doctor she would tell me to relax. Funny how specific our prayers can get sometimes. I was asking God to please keep my cervix CLOSED and to keep my progesterone levels up enough so that this baby LIVES!!! So we missed mass and I crawled back in bed for awhile and just slept off the anxiousness. I did have a few stretching pains (I hope that is what it was) and I mainly get them getting in/out of bed. Later that day, I read that at this stage, sudden changes in positioning can make you stretch more. I don't know, but I did feel comforted by it. After a couple of hours we did go see my father-in-law and my step-dad for Father's Day! It turned out to be a beautiful day, but I did stay anxious most of the day. I try not to talk about the anxiety I am experiencing because I don't even want to put it all in words because I don't want to appear unbelieving in God's miracles and ability to see us through to a live birth to this precious child!
Please allow me a moment to brag . . .
(beware - mushy stuff ahead related to celebrating my husband on Father's Day)
My mom and aunt did something very special for my husband for this Father's Day. They each bought him a card and my mom got him a girl's outfit and a boy's outfit that with a cute qoute about their daddy. I was most suprised and pleased by his reaction! It made my day ;) He was just thrilled and on cloud nine saying that sometimes "I am still having a hard time believing this is really happening!" Beautiful!
I got him a special flashlight (the man loves flashlights) and a cute baby gown that says "I love my Daddy." The flashlight represented that he is a guiding light for our family! I also said a Novena to Saint Joseph (thanks Mrs. Blondies) for my sweet husband and ended it on Father's Day.
I really was very aware of how hurtful Father's Day can be for those who have lost their father or for Fathers who have lost their children and especially for those couples who struggle like we did for so many years with the desire to become a Father. I felt bad about missing mass yesterday, but my husband did not. I think he was still not really wanting to go to church for Father's Day because all of it is still so fresh . . . all of the pain, all of the desire to be a dad. I did not push the issue, but I do beleive that he is thrilled about what is on the horizon - but we are still painfully aware that we are still early in the pregnancy and we can take NOTHING for granted.
Dearest Abba,
I ask you to bless our family with trust in your divine will! AMEN.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
My Faith journey . . . so far!
It is Father’s Day weekend and I can’t think of a better time to sit and write out my Faith Story and how I find incredible joy in my heavenly Father!
I want to begin by saying, I have always been aware of the fact that my Mom chose to give me life despite hardship or the fact that I was not planned by her, but by God.
I never recall having a father in my life as a young child. I knew that I had a huge family that loved me, a Mom, grandma, and lots of aunts and uncles. From my earliest memories, I thought that was just how our family was meant to be. I did not spend a lot of time with my mom, but I was almost always in the care of a loving relative, to which I am most grateful. Even then, I was being held in the palm of God’s hand. My Mom worked a lot, drank a lot, and argued with my family a lot. Because of our poverty, we moved around a lot and I was enrolled in many different schools. One day my mom was able to get on a public housing list and we finally got a house of our own. A cute two bedroom house within walking distance to a pretty good school. I was entering the second grade at this time. Since my mom worked as a bartender, my Aunt came to live with us and she would take me to school, feed me, and help me with homework. It took me a long time to realize that my Mom was providing the best way she knew how to at the time. I missed her, but this is only the beginning of the story.
The summer before my fourth grade year, my Mom met my stepdad. I was smitten. He was kind, listened to me and my mom, and took time to do family things with us. It was with him, that I got to spend more time with my Mom and that helped us out a lot. They eventually married and we moved to his house. They never could have any other children, but I was the apple of their eyes. I had never encountered Church, Jesus, or God before this time. I had been told how to say night prayers, but I did not know who God was or why I would go to him trusting that he loved me enough to listen. With the marriage of my Mom and Stepdad, we started to go to church with my Stepdad and his family, **gasp** they were Catholic. I was bored out of my mind those first few years, I would count the bricks on the walls during the homilies. Once I finished elementary school, my family became very concerned about keeping me in public school because we lived in a terrible school district. So my family made the sacrifice to send me, a unbaptized Catholic girl, to a very modest Catholic school. I was like a fish out of water . . . it weighed on my self esteem. I did not really fit in and it was challenging to make friends. I eventually made friends and it was during this time at this school I learned my first lessons about faith and about a loving father who cared about me enough to send his son to die for me. It was the first time I was told about sin and how I receive absolution for those sins. So this non-catholic girl goes to confession! That was probably the most important thing I could have ever done, I felt a change in my heart –a peace that I had never experienced before. I would continue to learn about the catholic faith and the Trinity, but I would remain unbaptized. I also had two of the best grandparents in the world praying for me and setting a good, catholic example for me. They were such amazing people and I would see them every afternoon after school because they lived across from the school and I would stay there every afternoon until my family got off of work. By the way, my mom was able to get a job at a school and gave up drinking and working as a bartender. My stepdad provided well for us and we were a happy family.
I finished my time at the catholic school and once again we had to choose a school for me to go to for high school. My family couldn’t afford to send me to the only catholic high school in our hometown, so I was sent to a very protestant Christian school. It was during my freshman year, that I was really growing in my Catholic faith and even though my mom was not catholic she would bring me to church every Sunday and I joined the youth group! Finally, a place I fit in! That was a turning point for me.
I joined the youth group and had an awesome youth leader, made some really great friends and deeply desired to be baptized into the catholic faith. My family was supportive of this, so I began to meet with a priest weekly to prepare for the sacrament of Baptism and First Communion. I was 14 years old at this time. In December 1991, I was baptized!!! I was so excited and on fire for Jesus! The next day, I received my first Holy Communion. I began to volunteer for the church and continued to go to many catholic youth events, which fostered my growing faith! Now, becoming Catholic was not too popular with my peers at the Christian School. I was always under attack for my beliefs and challenged. Now this was not a bad thing, it was a very good thing. I would go to CCD every Wednesday with new questions on how to defend my faith. This helped me to never feel the need to attack another's faith or religion. I learned so much from my peers that were not catholic that I hoped I helped them see that we can all live peacefully together and respect our differences and celebrate all that we have in commone. This process really cemented my faith and allowed me to go to a new level that few of my peers in the Catholic church were encountering. I would go to these great Catholic retreats where I would just be buoyed in hope that God was eternally concerned for my well being and then I began to lead some of these retreats.
During the summer before my Junior year, I was able to go see the Pope and there was a transformation that happened in my soul and I have never looked back. It was just the preparation I needed to face the hardships that were coming my way. It was during my junior year that we found out that my stepdad had a terminal illness and it was a tremendous strain on the family. He got better for a time, but relapsed and we were devastated when he passed away during my senior year. I ended up stop playing sports and became very academic, I was on and off again with my boyfriend of 3 years and just restless and sad. My mom resumed her partying lifestyle and I was home alone a great deal of the time. Even during this time, my faith grew leaps and bounds and it was the first time of many that I learned that grace sometimes grows in darkness and that God’s hand is always protecting us from the fall, if we just trust Him.
By the time I graduated, I was still growing in my faith but I was unable to go away to college like I dreamed. I needed to stay home and care for my Mom. She was fragile and the only family I had left so I wanted to try to keep that relationship growing. I ended up going to a local university and getting a degree in psychology. I spent the majority of my time in service to the church in some way or another. I did a lot of volunteer work/ministry for the university Catholic Student Center and worked as a youth minister for money to pay for gas, tuition, etc. I had a multitude of jobs. At one time, I worked three jobs, went to school, and did all of my volunteer work.
One of the most difficult times during this time was when the ICE STORM came in and stopped our lives or so it seemed. We were without electricity for many days and fortunately we had a gas stove to cook meals. It gave my Mom and I a lot of time to talk. It was during this time that I was really wanting to search for my father that I never knew and meet him. I just wanted to lay eyes on him and know why he never wished to know me. Well, to make a long story short, my mom ended up telling me that the father listed on my birth certificate was not my real father and that she had been raped and I was conceived during that most difficult time in her life. I was blown away and shook up a great deal. Fortunately, I had a great set of spiritual directors who helped me to learn to appreciate my Mom’s ultimate sacrifice of choosing life for me, but also learning that no matter how or when I was conceived GOD wanted me here! This growth took a great deal of time to acquire, but it has made me who I am today. I never look at one soul and forget that God wanted them to be a part of our world. I was wanted more by God than by anyone else, and I am grateful that my Mom turned out to want me too! It turned out my biological father died before I was born, so I never met him. I pray that he made peace with God. This reveal of how I was conceived helped me to understand that pain and hurt my mom endured and it helped me appreciate all the things she had done right and forgive all the things I felt she had done that seemed not so motherly during my growing up years. We now have a much better relationship!
It turns out that staying home for college was God’s will for me. I met some of the most wonderful people and I still am friends with the best of them. During my last year, I wanted to try to move out of my Mom’s house, she was remarrying a man with two teenage sons and the space was very limited. I tried to get a better paying job and found one, but was still unable to afford to move out on my own. When I went to apply for this better paying job, I was in the parking lot and I heard a voice tell me that I would meet my husband there.
I thought that I was finally going crazy. I went in and interviewed, got the job, and then met the boss. I thought to myself, God you must have a funny sense of humor! I only met men who I thought were old enough to be my father. Then one day, out of the clear blue sky, my future husband walked into the showroom and the rest was history. We hit it off right away and less than eight months later we were engaged. I was determined to finish my classes and do well in my biology classes that were kicking me in the pants, so we planned the wedding for July 2000!
I was never so happy to finish school because I was ready to become a wife and eventually a mother! We began our wedding preparation and our wedding was perfect! We still laugh about the silly things that happened that day!
We were living on a modest income, so before we married we bought an affordable house in the country and spent many of the months before the wedding remodeling the home so it would be ready for us to move into once we were married. I loved that little house! So much love in putting it all together. We were married for barely two months when I noticed I was spotting after being intimate. We were not using any form of contraception and were fully open to life, but I was unsure what was going on, so I called the doctor. We were both virgins when we married and for some reason, I could not understand why only now my period was acting abnormal. I was pregnant – already! I thought for some reason it would take us awhile. I was ecstatic and scared because I knew that bleeding and pregnancy don’t usually go hand in hand. So they began the process of checking hcg levels. The first draw was on a Friday and we prayed like crazy people that our baby would grow and live! Monday’s draw showed that I was already miscarrying. We were both heartbroken and so the beginning of our marriage was filled with sorrow for a long time. We continued to be open to life, but my body was clearly not healthy and we spent the next 7 years trying to find answers to help us! The process was long, hard, expensive, and full of desolation. We still grew in faith, but it was at a much slower pace. Suffering was our teacher. God was our only consolation!
We met a lady who offered to teach us CrMS and make a referral to Dr. Hilgers. That was in 2007. She was just having her seventh child and so the process for the referral took awhile, but by then we knew that we were on the right track to better help for me. My husband had to really push for this because I just wanted to adopt! I was ready to be a mom yesterday and this process with Dr. Hilgers was NOT a fast one. We were accepted as his patient in 9/07, in January 2008 they called and scheduled surgery after my hormone profile was completed. He started me on t3 immediately. My lap was set for July 2, 2008, so we spent our 8th anniversary in Omaha and I was doing a bowel prep J Not so much romance happening there! The lap successfully showed us that I had severe endo, lots of adhesions, and pcos. I needed an additional surgery to correct these issues. Before my first surgery, I would bleed heavy for nearly 60 days at a time and then go awhile without a period, but after surgery I was finally having regular cycles with the assistance of post peak progesterone support.
My second surgery was scheduled for Sept 13, 2008. September was crazy for SWLA that year and in two weeks we evacuated twice for hurricanes. Once for Gustav and the next for Ike. When we left for Ike, we just made our way to Omaha. We knew we already had hotel rooms. We spent one night in Little Rock (with both our families) and one night in the worst hotel ever in Kansas City. I was never so happy to be in Omaha! This surgery was so hard though and I remember crying and begging God to please use this to bring me healing and to bring us babies!
Six months after that surgery, we were blown away to find out we were pregnant. I had a hard time with this pregnancy, but was still thrilled. That pregnancy ended up in a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and I just cried out to God “WHY”! My spirit suffered so much, I had to force myself to praise God during that storm. I knew I needed him, but I could not understand that in his all-powerful ways, why he allowed that baby grow in the wrong place. I just knew that if he willed the baby to be moved to my womb, they baby would have been moved. I had to eventually come to terms with the fact that God knew this was happening and allowed it for some reason.
Two months later, when I was chatting with Dr. Hilgers, he told me that the loss of the left tube (it was the one most severely damaged from endo) was probably going to improve our chances of having a healthy pregnancy from this point on. I had to force myself to trust his words. So I took several months to heal and then we started to TTC again. My husband was certain that we were not called to adoption yet and this caused a lot of pain in my life, but I still gave myself to him and God by being open to life. Once again, during the Easter season, we found out we are pregnant again! We went nearly 8 years with no pregnancy and then two pregnancies in one year. I was guarded with this new pregnancy, but God has allowed this one to grow in the right place and to continue to grow. I am still amazed that God is allowing us to become parents in the flesh and my most sincere prayer is that he will prepare us to be good examples for this child, that our faith will lead them to grow their faith and find the assurance we found in serving Christ, not man. I am amazed at life, but most importantly the giver of life. Our lives have not been without suffering, but it has also not been without joy!
Even with the cross of losing my job at one of the most important times in my life and when I need it the most, God is calling me to stretch and trust him and His will. I believe that this, too, is going to be a good thing, simply because I have learned that God has never left us in a pit – forsaken. He always redeems those who seek redemption!
I want to begin by saying, I have always been aware of the fact that my Mom chose to give me life despite hardship or the fact that I was not planned by her, but by God.
I never recall having a father in my life as a young child. I knew that I had a huge family that loved me, a Mom, grandma, and lots of aunts and uncles. From my earliest memories, I thought that was just how our family was meant to be. I did not spend a lot of time with my mom, but I was almost always in the care of a loving relative, to which I am most grateful. Even then, I was being held in the palm of God’s hand. My Mom worked a lot, drank a lot, and argued with my family a lot. Because of our poverty, we moved around a lot and I was enrolled in many different schools. One day my mom was able to get on a public housing list and we finally got a house of our own. A cute two bedroom house within walking distance to a pretty good school. I was entering the second grade at this time. Since my mom worked as a bartender, my Aunt came to live with us and she would take me to school, feed me, and help me with homework. It took me a long time to realize that my Mom was providing the best way she knew how to at the time. I missed her, but this is only the beginning of the story.
The summer before my fourth grade year, my Mom met my stepdad. I was smitten. He was kind, listened to me and my mom, and took time to do family things with us. It was with him, that I got to spend more time with my Mom and that helped us out a lot. They eventually married and we moved to his house. They never could have any other children, but I was the apple of their eyes. I had never encountered Church, Jesus, or God before this time. I had been told how to say night prayers, but I did not know who God was or why I would go to him trusting that he loved me enough to listen. With the marriage of my Mom and Stepdad, we started to go to church with my Stepdad and his family, **gasp** they were Catholic. I was bored out of my mind those first few years, I would count the bricks on the walls during the homilies. Once I finished elementary school, my family became very concerned about keeping me in public school because we lived in a terrible school district. So my family made the sacrifice to send me, a unbaptized Catholic girl, to a very modest Catholic school. I was like a fish out of water . . . it weighed on my self esteem. I did not really fit in and it was challenging to make friends. I eventually made friends and it was during this time at this school I learned my first lessons about faith and about a loving father who cared about me enough to send his son to die for me. It was the first time I was told about sin and how I receive absolution for those sins. So this non-catholic girl goes to confession! That was probably the most important thing I could have ever done, I felt a change in my heart –a peace that I had never experienced before. I would continue to learn about the catholic faith and the Trinity, but I would remain unbaptized. I also had two of the best grandparents in the world praying for me and setting a good, catholic example for me. They were such amazing people and I would see them every afternoon after school because they lived across from the school and I would stay there every afternoon until my family got off of work. By the way, my mom was able to get a job at a school and gave up drinking and working as a bartender. My stepdad provided well for us and we were a happy family.
I finished my time at the catholic school and once again we had to choose a school for me to go to for high school. My family couldn’t afford to send me to the only catholic high school in our hometown, so I was sent to a very protestant Christian school. It was during my freshman year, that I was really growing in my Catholic faith and even though my mom was not catholic she would bring me to church every Sunday and I joined the youth group! Finally, a place I fit in! That was a turning point for me.
I joined the youth group and had an awesome youth leader, made some really great friends and deeply desired to be baptized into the catholic faith. My family was supportive of this, so I began to meet with a priest weekly to prepare for the sacrament of Baptism and First Communion. I was 14 years old at this time. In December 1991, I was baptized!!! I was so excited and on fire for Jesus! The next day, I received my first Holy Communion. I began to volunteer for the church and continued to go to many catholic youth events, which fostered my growing faith! Now, becoming Catholic was not too popular with my peers at the Christian School. I was always under attack for my beliefs and challenged. Now this was not a bad thing, it was a very good thing. I would go to CCD every Wednesday with new questions on how to defend my faith. This helped me to never feel the need to attack another's faith or religion. I learned so much from my peers that were not catholic that I hoped I helped them see that we can all live peacefully together and respect our differences and celebrate all that we have in commone. This process really cemented my faith and allowed me to go to a new level that few of my peers in the Catholic church were encountering. I would go to these great Catholic retreats where I would just be buoyed in hope that God was eternally concerned for my well being and then I began to lead some of these retreats.
During the summer before my Junior year, I was able to go see the Pope and there was a transformation that happened in my soul and I have never looked back. It was just the preparation I needed to face the hardships that were coming my way. It was during my junior year that we found out that my stepdad had a terminal illness and it was a tremendous strain on the family. He got better for a time, but relapsed and we were devastated when he passed away during my senior year. I ended up stop playing sports and became very academic, I was on and off again with my boyfriend of 3 years and just restless and sad. My mom resumed her partying lifestyle and I was home alone a great deal of the time. Even during this time, my faith grew leaps and bounds and it was the first time of many that I learned that grace sometimes grows in darkness and that God’s hand is always protecting us from the fall, if we just trust Him.
By the time I graduated, I was still growing in my faith but I was unable to go away to college like I dreamed. I needed to stay home and care for my Mom. She was fragile and the only family I had left so I wanted to try to keep that relationship growing. I ended up going to a local university and getting a degree in psychology. I spent the majority of my time in service to the church in some way or another. I did a lot of volunteer work/ministry for the university Catholic Student Center and worked as a youth minister for money to pay for gas, tuition, etc. I had a multitude of jobs. At one time, I worked three jobs, went to school, and did all of my volunteer work.
One of the most difficult times during this time was when the ICE STORM came in and stopped our lives or so it seemed. We were without electricity for many days and fortunately we had a gas stove to cook meals. It gave my Mom and I a lot of time to talk. It was during this time that I was really wanting to search for my father that I never knew and meet him. I just wanted to lay eyes on him and know why he never wished to know me. Well, to make a long story short, my mom ended up telling me that the father listed on my birth certificate was not my real father and that she had been raped and I was conceived during that most difficult time in her life. I was blown away and shook up a great deal. Fortunately, I had a great set of spiritual directors who helped me to learn to appreciate my Mom’s ultimate sacrifice of choosing life for me, but also learning that no matter how or when I was conceived GOD wanted me here! This growth took a great deal of time to acquire, but it has made me who I am today. I never look at one soul and forget that God wanted them to be a part of our world. I was wanted more by God than by anyone else, and I am grateful that my Mom turned out to want me too! It turned out my biological father died before I was born, so I never met him. I pray that he made peace with God. This reveal of how I was conceived helped me to understand that pain and hurt my mom endured and it helped me appreciate all the things she had done right and forgive all the things I felt she had done that seemed not so motherly during my growing up years. We now have a much better relationship!
It turns out that staying home for college was God’s will for me. I met some of the most wonderful people and I still am friends with the best of them. During my last year, I wanted to try to move out of my Mom’s house, she was remarrying a man with two teenage sons and the space was very limited. I tried to get a better paying job and found one, but was still unable to afford to move out on my own. When I went to apply for this better paying job, I was in the parking lot and I heard a voice tell me that I would meet my husband there.
I thought that I was finally going crazy. I went in and interviewed, got the job, and then met the boss. I thought to myself, God you must have a funny sense of humor! I only met men who I thought were old enough to be my father. Then one day, out of the clear blue sky, my future husband walked into the showroom and the rest was history. We hit it off right away and less than eight months later we were engaged. I was determined to finish my classes and do well in my biology classes that were kicking me in the pants, so we planned the wedding for July 2000!
I was never so happy to finish school because I was ready to become a wife and eventually a mother! We began our wedding preparation and our wedding was perfect! We still laugh about the silly things that happened that day!
We were living on a modest income, so before we married we bought an affordable house in the country and spent many of the months before the wedding remodeling the home so it would be ready for us to move into once we were married. I loved that little house! So much love in putting it all together. We were married for barely two months when I noticed I was spotting after being intimate. We were not using any form of contraception and were fully open to life, but I was unsure what was going on, so I called the doctor. We were both virgins when we married and for some reason, I could not understand why only now my period was acting abnormal. I was pregnant – already! I thought for some reason it would take us awhile. I was ecstatic and scared because I knew that bleeding and pregnancy don’t usually go hand in hand. So they began the process of checking hcg levels. The first draw was on a Friday and we prayed like crazy people that our baby would grow and live! Monday’s draw showed that I was already miscarrying. We were both heartbroken and so the beginning of our marriage was filled with sorrow for a long time. We continued to be open to life, but my body was clearly not healthy and we spent the next 7 years trying to find answers to help us! The process was long, hard, expensive, and full of desolation. We still grew in faith, but it was at a much slower pace. Suffering was our teacher. God was our only consolation!
We met a lady who offered to teach us CrMS and make a referral to Dr. Hilgers. That was in 2007. She was just having her seventh child and so the process for the referral took awhile, but by then we knew that we were on the right track to better help for me. My husband had to really push for this because I just wanted to adopt! I was ready to be a mom yesterday and this process with Dr. Hilgers was NOT a fast one. We were accepted as his patient in 9/07, in January 2008 they called and scheduled surgery after my hormone profile was completed. He started me on t3 immediately. My lap was set for July 2, 2008, so we spent our 8th anniversary in Omaha and I was doing a bowel prep J Not so much romance happening there! The lap successfully showed us that I had severe endo, lots of adhesions, and pcos. I needed an additional surgery to correct these issues. Before my first surgery, I would bleed heavy for nearly 60 days at a time and then go awhile without a period, but after surgery I was finally having regular cycles with the assistance of post peak progesterone support.
My second surgery was scheduled for Sept 13, 2008. September was crazy for SWLA that year and in two weeks we evacuated twice for hurricanes. Once for Gustav and the next for Ike. When we left for Ike, we just made our way to Omaha. We knew we already had hotel rooms. We spent one night in Little Rock (with both our families) and one night in the worst hotel ever in Kansas City. I was never so happy to be in Omaha! This surgery was so hard though and I remember crying and begging God to please use this to bring me healing and to bring us babies!
Six months after that surgery, we were blown away to find out we were pregnant. I had a hard time with this pregnancy, but was still thrilled. That pregnancy ended up in a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and I just cried out to God “WHY”! My spirit suffered so much, I had to force myself to praise God during that storm. I knew I needed him, but I could not understand that in his all-powerful ways, why he allowed that baby grow in the wrong place. I just knew that if he willed the baby to be moved to my womb, they baby would have been moved. I had to eventually come to terms with the fact that God knew this was happening and allowed it for some reason.
Two months later, when I was chatting with Dr. Hilgers, he told me that the loss of the left tube (it was the one most severely damaged from endo) was probably going to improve our chances of having a healthy pregnancy from this point on. I had to force myself to trust his words. So I took several months to heal and then we started to TTC again. My husband was certain that we were not called to adoption yet and this caused a lot of pain in my life, but I still gave myself to him and God by being open to life. Once again, during the Easter season, we found out we are pregnant again! We went nearly 8 years with no pregnancy and then two pregnancies in one year. I was guarded with this new pregnancy, but God has allowed this one to grow in the right place and to continue to grow. I am still amazed that God is allowing us to become parents in the flesh and my most sincere prayer is that he will prepare us to be good examples for this child, that our faith will lead them to grow their faith and find the assurance we found in serving Christ, not man. I am amazed at life, but most importantly the giver of life. Our lives have not been without suffering, but it has also not been without joy!
Even with the cross of losing my job at one of the most important times in my life and when I need it the most, God is calling me to stretch and trust him and His will. I believe that this, too, is going to be a good thing, simply because I have learned that God has never left us in a pit – forsaken. He always redeems those who seek redemption!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Check out my loot :)
Last night, we get a call from my mother in law that says a neighbor of theirs told them about this great garage sale near their house and that it had so many good baby items for great prices. She thought I could stop there on my way to work. Well, I took off a comp day today and was planning to sleep in and make arrangements with unemployment, etc. Well, I ended up getting up at 6 am and making the 20 minute drive to the garage sale and it was worth getting out of bed! This lady had some really awesome baby gear, baby boy clothing, and the cutest ever little nursery set for sale. The set had whales (Lily and Ives, I think), but definitely for a sweet boy! I loved it, but we are just getting neutral things now.
Check out my loot:
That's right, the pictures may not do it justice!!
Check out my loot:
That's right, the pictures may not do it justice!!I got a boppy (brand new condition) with two beautiful, neutral covers, a bumbo (neutral color), a weighted pad/pillow (these are used to help position babies who may be born a little premature), 3 sweet baby caps, 1 hooded Noah's Ark towel, a mobil with fish (with lights for the ceiling and the base plays soft music - I forgot to take a picture of this), and 27 baby outfits all for the whopping price of ...............................................$20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unbelievable, I am just so thankful! Two of the top things on my list were a bumbo and a boppy! When I worked as a special instructor, I just knew that these are the necessities to help with some early motor development skills. No, there are not really necessary, just helpful and all of this stuff is in great shape! People may think it is weird to be buying all this neutral stuff (it is so hard to find) but we can use it for Little Bit (I can't waith until we can all them by their name) and if we are ever blessed with another child we can reuse these same items no matter what the gender!!
Since the garage sale was in the country, I was the only one there and I shopped for about an hour. It turns out the lady had two sons. She casually mentioned that she was living in FL when the first one was about two and she had a huge garage sale and sold everything and the next day found out she was pregnant!!! She said it was the last thing they expected because the doctors told her she shouldn't have any more children and they were not trying. She said she had such a difficult pregnancy and had congestive heart failure with her first that they were actually not planning to have any more children - not because they did not want more but because her body was not able to handle the strain of pregnancy. Well, the second pregnancy turned out well, but she did tell me that she had to deliver both of her babies at 32 weeks because she has two small uterus(s). They had to be delivered early. She only lived in our neighborhood for about two weeks and just got an ob and heart doctor before she delievered her second child. She said they were still just so suprised with the second baby because it took them over 10 years to conceive their first child! That is when I shared my story. I felt like I had an instant friend! Someone who understood, life after IF, of being nervous throughout a pregnancy!! She was an awesome person with an awesome story, I left there thinking that God can bring something out of nothing and bring our dreams to life!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
PRAiSE GOD!!
Little Bit is GROWING!!!!!!!
I am still just utterly amazed! Great strong heartbeat, 159!!! The image below is not really clear, but I still love every bit of this itty bitty baby!!
I am still just utterly amazed! Great strong heartbeat, 159!!! The image below is not really clear, but I still love every bit of this itty bitty baby!!
Friday, June 11, 2010
First of all, thanks for following WBR, Leila and Stacey!
I survived the day! It was so hard. I am the only original office person left that was at work today and we had a ton of people coming in today and things needed to be done. Plus, they already ran an ad for my job, so I had to greet all of the people coming in to fill out applications and answer all the calls related to the job. I felt so bruised and battered emotionally at that time, but I know that I have to take the high road here. There is so much more I want to write, but it is my Friday night and I really need to relax!
My doctor's appointment and u/s is set for Tuesday. I am so nervous. I keep picturing that beautiful heart beating.
I am so tired right now and was so sick this morning with nausea that I was standing in the closet trying to find something to wear that I thought I could barely stand upright. I was clinging to the clothes as if they were holding me up. Nuts, I tell you.
I do have to say that I am finally craving salad and vegetables. I was able to have a healthy dinner tonight and it was so good to do something good for my body. I love all kinds of nuts, so I have been eating those and we have about 5 jars of pickles in the fridge because I kept trying new kinds (cheaper ones) and did not like them so now I finally bought the ones I knew I loved and the jar is almost empty.
I have been dealing with a lot of emotions lately, but I am so happy it the weekend! I get to rest and catch up on the piles around my house. My mom is cooking us dinner on Saturday so I am looking foward to visiting.
I survived the day! It was so hard. I am the only original office person left that was at work today and we had a ton of people coming in today and things needed to be done. Plus, they already ran an ad for my job, so I had to greet all of the people coming in to fill out applications and answer all the calls related to the job. I felt so bruised and battered emotionally at that time, but I know that I have to take the high road here. There is so much more I want to write, but it is my Friday night and I really need to relax!
My doctor's appointment and u/s is set for Tuesday. I am so nervous. I keep picturing that beautiful heart beating.
I am so tired right now and was so sick this morning with nausea that I was standing in the closet trying to find something to wear that I thought I could barely stand upright. I was clinging to the clothes as if they were holding me up. Nuts, I tell you.
I do have to say that I am finally craving salad and vegetables. I was able to have a healthy dinner tonight and it was so good to do something good for my body. I love all kinds of nuts, so I have been eating those and we have about 5 jars of pickles in the fridge because I kept trying new kinds (cheaper ones) and did not like them so now I finally bought the ones I knew I loved and the jar is almost empty.
I have been dealing with a lot of emotions lately, but I am so happy it the weekend! I get to rest and catch up on the piles around my house. My mom is cooking us dinner on Saturday so I am looking foward to visiting.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Grace
I was able to handle my day with grace.
I knew it was coming, but I am still so shook up!
I was told today that my services would no longer be needed at my present employer effective June 30, 2010.
The priest that gave me the letter handled it with great love and compassion and he is the one who we first shared that we were expecting this child I am now carrying and the one who officiated our wedding. He even called my spiritual director to have her available to offer consolation after I met with him. He is greatly concerned about me and our baby, so I tried to not make it any harder than it was already. I am a bit devasted, but trying to find joy in this circumstance. I am trusting that God is in control and will meet all of our needs. The letter stating that I was being laid off said that the "vision for the retreat center has changed and my services are no longer needed."
God is bigger than this and I understand that I was the most dispensible employee they have at this current time. I can't get into too many details as to the official why, but I pray that somehow God will allow holiness will grow there. No one that I currently work with know, so I will have to break the news to them tomorrow.
We should be able to qualify for the LAMOM's program and then I should be able to receive unemployment benefits.
In all things, my baby IS my top priority right now and I pray that nothing disturbs this child living inside of me. I don't think that losing my job is the end of the world, losing a child is the end of the world to me, so God please protect this baby and help me to always, always be a good momma and take care of this little one! This is my prayer!
So sorry that I haven't written my faith story or commented much. I barely have the energy to read the blogs these days, but that should change soon.
I knew it was coming, but I am still so shook up!
I was told today that my services would no longer be needed at my present employer effective June 30, 2010.
The priest that gave me the letter handled it with great love and compassion and he is the one who we first shared that we were expecting this child I am now carrying and the one who officiated our wedding. He even called my spiritual director to have her available to offer consolation after I met with him. He is greatly concerned about me and our baby, so I tried to not make it any harder than it was already. I am a bit devasted, but trying to find joy in this circumstance. I am trusting that God is in control and will meet all of our needs. The letter stating that I was being laid off said that the "vision for the retreat center has changed and my services are no longer needed."
God is bigger than this and I understand that I was the most dispensible employee they have at this current time. I can't get into too many details as to the official why, but I pray that somehow God will allow holiness will grow there. No one that I currently work with know, so I will have to break the news to them tomorrow.
We should be able to qualify for the LAMOM's program and then I should be able to receive unemployment benefits.
In all things, my baby IS my top priority right now and I pray that nothing disturbs this child living inside of me. I don't think that losing my job is the end of the world, losing a child is the end of the world to me, so God please protect this baby and help me to always, always be a good momma and take care of this little one! This is my prayer!
So sorry that I haven't written my faith story or commented much. I barely have the energy to read the blogs these days, but that should change soon.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Gather The People
"Gather The People" was sung as the entrance hymn at mass this morning.
Here is the chorus:
Gather the people,
Enter the feast,
All are invited the greatest and least.
The banquet is ready, now to be shared.
Join in the heavenly feast that God has prepaere.
(by Dan Shutte)
It struck me that I am at the heavenly feast in my life at this very moment.
While I have been taking so long to wrap my mind around the miracle that is growing in my womb, I finally realize why the awe has not worn off! This is our heavenly feast that God has prepared for us. The banquet is being made ready . . . it will be shared.
I have been so aware that I am still grieving the loss of Nicky AND eargerly anticipating the arrival of a new healthy baby. I am getting so hopeful, excited, and am finding that I am having more confidience every day. It makes me a bit nervous to be so hopeful right now, but it is the best gift I can give my baby right now.
In regular news, we went to a few garage sales this weekend. I was looking for nice, clean, neutral baby thigs. I found some really cute infant outfits, some swaddling blankets and some gorgeous new chairs for our dining room table. We got such a bargain. We only paid $30 a chair and they are nearly new and when I researched the serial/model numbers they go for about $390 a pair. Can't beat that. We love them and they are so comfortable. We weren't looking for them, but it was a super find. The swaddle blankets are awesome, but I am not sure they will be nearly as good as the miracle blanket I heard about and want so bad.
In good news, we were told that my husband's parents would like to buy the baby's crib. I was so excited, but it will be awhile before we buy it.
I did get the chance to find one we liked and set up an online registry at Wal.mart. There is not much on there yet, but I was just playing around today and set up the registry. I know it is soon, but I just wanted to see what stood out to us.
I have not had time to post, we had company staying at our house since we got back from New Orleans, plus I am staying so tired. I have been taking a nap every single day.
I don't know if I mentioned it before, but my local doctor was wanting to stop my Glucophage and progesterone meds at around 12 weeks. I talked with the nurses at PPVI and Dr. Hilgers seems to thinks the Gluchophage will help me not develop gestational diabetes and they adamently agree with me that we need to continue to monitor the progesterone levels and supplement with meds as needed. They are going to send a fax explaining the need for me to continue these meds to my local doctor. I hope this doesn't upset her, I don't intend to question her judgment, I just want to do what is best for both my baby and I.
I have been enjoying reading everyone's faith story. I do plan to share mine soon! I am so glad Leila suggested this. I will be writing mine soon, but with limited computer time, I will be doing it in a day or so! I have felt like I have not any "down" time lately and I know this is only a taste of what is to come ;)
I can't beleive I am getting closer to twelve weeks pregnant, I pray that this pregnancy leads to a healthy baby that we can take home and watch grow up!!
Here is the chorus:
Gather the people,
Enter the feast,
All are invited the greatest and least.
The banquet is ready, now to be shared.
Join in the heavenly feast that God has prepaere.
(by Dan Shutte)
It struck me that I am at the heavenly feast in my life at this very moment.
While I have been taking so long to wrap my mind around the miracle that is growing in my womb, I finally realize why the awe has not worn off! This is our heavenly feast that God has prepared for us. The banquet is being made ready . . . it will be shared.
I have been so aware that I am still grieving the loss of Nicky AND eargerly anticipating the arrival of a new healthy baby. I am getting so hopeful, excited, and am finding that I am having more confidience every day. It makes me a bit nervous to be so hopeful right now, but it is the best gift I can give my baby right now.
In regular news, we went to a few garage sales this weekend. I was looking for nice, clean, neutral baby thigs. I found some really cute infant outfits, some swaddling blankets and some gorgeous new chairs for our dining room table. We got such a bargain. We only paid $30 a chair and they are nearly new and when I researched the serial/model numbers they go for about $390 a pair. Can't beat that. We love them and they are so comfortable. We weren't looking for them, but it was a super find. The swaddle blankets are awesome, but I am not sure they will be nearly as good as the miracle blanket I heard about and want so bad.
In good news, we were told that my husband's parents would like to buy the baby's crib. I was so excited, but it will be awhile before we buy it.
I did get the chance to find one we liked and set up an online registry at Wal.mart. There is not much on there yet, but I was just playing around today and set up the registry. I know it is soon, but I just wanted to see what stood out to us.
I have not had time to post, we had company staying at our house since we got back from New Orleans, plus I am staying so tired. I have been taking a nap every single day.
I don't know if I mentioned it before, but my local doctor was wanting to stop my Glucophage and progesterone meds at around 12 weeks. I talked with the nurses at PPVI and Dr. Hilgers seems to thinks the Gluchophage will help me not develop gestational diabetes and they adamently agree with me that we need to continue to monitor the progesterone levels and supplement with meds as needed. They are going to send a fax explaining the need for me to continue these meds to my local doctor. I hope this doesn't upset her, I don't intend to question her judgment, I just want to do what is best for both my baby and I.
I have been enjoying reading everyone's faith story. I do plan to share mine soon! I am so glad Leila suggested this. I will be writing mine soon, but with limited computer time, I will be doing it in a day or so! I have felt like I have not any "down" time lately and I know this is only a taste of what is to come ;)
I can't beleive I am getting closer to twelve weeks pregnant, I pray that this pregnancy leads to a healthy baby that we can take home and watch grow up!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Quick Update!!
We are currently in New Orleans and I writing from the hotel, we just got back from the hospital. My FIL is doing better and the heart surgery was successful!!! Praise God!! It has been a super long day!!! We are all so exhausted!! Thanks for your prayers!!
We had to leave quickly and I never got to update about the u/s from Tuesday! I was a complete baskecase, I don't know when the fear will go away. It is not exactly fear, just an awareness that God is in control and I am not ;)
Little Bit was squirming around and I got to see and hear their precious heartbeat, there is nothing more miraculous. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. This child is a complete gift, not one we deserve but hopefullhy one we are entrusted to care for for many, many years!!! The heartbeat was 170!!! I was on cloud 12 at that point :)
On Sunday, I got a crazy pain on my left side and it was so bothersome that it was tough to sleep or get comfortable enough to sleep. I talked to the doctor about it and the talked to me about it being scar tissue from the removal of my left tube a year ago! I did not know it could hurt so bad!! I thought it was a severe gas bubble, but it never passed. She said "At least you get a baby out of this pain!" At that moment, I knew I had the right doctor! I have been offering up all the discomfort and pain for all of the beautiful couples praying for their miracle. She said the pain could last throughout the pregnancy and I thought it is a small price to pay, but it is finally easing up, praise God.
St. Gerard, St. Gianna, St. Therese, thank you for covering us in prayer!
We had to leave quickly and I never got to update about the u/s from Tuesday! I was a complete baskecase, I don't know when the fear will go away. It is not exactly fear, just an awareness that God is in control and I am not ;)
Little Bit was squirming around and I got to see and hear their precious heartbeat, there is nothing more miraculous. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. This child is a complete gift, not one we deserve but hopefullhy one we are entrusted to care for for many, many years!!! The heartbeat was 170!!! I was on cloud 12 at that point :)
On Sunday, I got a crazy pain on my left side and it was so bothersome that it was tough to sleep or get comfortable enough to sleep. I talked to the doctor about it and the talked to me about it being scar tissue from the removal of my left tube a year ago! I did not know it could hurt so bad!! I thought it was a severe gas bubble, but it never passed. She said "At least you get a baby out of this pain!" At that moment, I knew I had the right doctor! I have been offering up all the discomfort and pain for all of the beautiful couples praying for their miracle. She said the pain could last throughout the pregnancy and I thought it is a small price to pay, but it is finally easing up, praise God.
St. Gerard, St. Gianna, St. Therese, thank you for covering us in prayer!
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