Giving God my little bit!

Grace has landed in my life. It was always there, it was just helping me to get through the grime I was surrounded in at the time. Everything I went through last week, every single emotion, every single tear was necessary! All of it was laying the groundwork for hope to be renewed in my heart. I wanted to be sure to post this positive new outlook because I truly feel like I have been given such a blessing in having others really help me to find a treasure of hope again.
Like I had mentioned in my post on Saturday, I was going to meet a lady and my CrMS instructor for a small gathering and part of the reason I was going was to listen to this other lady's story about her experience with surviving an ectopic pregnancy. The trauma she experienced was so similar to my own, that as I was listening to her story tears streamed down my cheeks because it is the kind of trauma you would never want anyone else to have to experience. Her situation was was different in some pivitol ways. I believe that her whole mission in sharing this painful part of her past was to allow me to see that you can make it past this. She was so kind in both listening and sharing. She ended up losing an ovary and tube, but she still had hope that God would honor her willingness to be open to life. She went on to recover although she was just as close or closer to death than I was. She continued to chart with some form of NFP, but not Creighton because it was not really established yet or she had not learned about it yet. She continued to ttc and had several miscarriages. Well, to make a long story short she went on to have four children, all healthy. She did mention that she had to take the same meds I am on to be able to concieve and she did have to take the progesterone meds to keep the pregnanies going. At this time she was using Napro to help her ttc and in maintaining her pregnancies. Her words of comfort helped me to release some of my sorrow. We talked of so many things of suffering, dreams, and vocations to motherhood. She and my other friend affirmed and recognized this driving force and dream, calling to be a mother. I was explaining to them that this has always been my dream. Some girls dreams of career, travel, and fame . . . .but I have ALWAYS dreamed of having a having a large family. They understood. They each stuggled, each survived, each trusted, and were given the desire of their hearts. I needed to hear that someone has been succussful with one tube. It was a great honor to meet this special lady. She shared with me a gem of hope and comfort. She was comforted after her loss by hearing from a lady that believed that all children who are torn from their parents hearts, arms, or wombs are taken into the arms of Our Holy Mother and held so close to her Immuclate Heart that they grow in her heart and act as powerful intercessors for their parents. The very same thing alot of you have told me in the last two months:)
So I left my friend's home feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt hopeful that God was not finished with me yet. J was so excited to see me with hope shining in my eyes again.
And if that was not enough of a gift, Mass today was Amazing. I knew that it was the Feast of St. Ann and Jochim, so that made it very special for me, but today's readings really reminded me of God's nature to take the little that is given and making it into something phenomenal. In the first reading, we reflected on how there seemed to be so little food and so many to feed, but when it was offered and blessed, it was enough!! Then in the gospel we listened to story of the five barley loaves and two fish feeding over 5000 with enough to be left over. I went to mass a the Cathedral where J and I were married and the priest there was so filled with the Holy Spirit and reminded that us the if we give God our little bit, God can do amazing things when we get out of his way and let Him do His work. He asked us "What is your little bit that you can offer God?" All week I focused on what I did not have. I recognized in Mass that My one tube is my little bit. I can't not try. I have to give God all that I have and even though in my mind it is a little bit, it could just be enough for Him to bring new life into our family. God can use my little bit, if I will just get out of His way.
I have been taken, blessed, broken, and given. Only God knows what is in store for me, but I have found that He is worthy of my trust. I can believe in God every day of the week, but I have to trust Him everyday of the week, too!