During the night I catch a glimpse of what is on my nightstand, in the shadows of the light from the alarm clock and what I see is a nasal aspirator and a Soo.thie pacifier. My heart overflowed with joy at that exact moment.
I do have some trying times of learning how to best meet Joseph's needs, primarily due to the reflux because the majority of our day revolves around feeding and then the holding upright for a 1/2 hour. He is a wonderful baby and we are so grateful to have him be a part of our family. We are settling into a somewhat pattern of eat, sleep, poo :) The biggest challenge for me is finding time to pump and clean those doggone bottles that is a necessary part of feeding sweet Joseph. I was having trouble getting my milk, but we just live one bottle pumped at a time and then we will just roll with the punches. It is really the best that I can do at this time. I would much rather spend my time playing and holding him rather than pumping and the whole idea of sleeping when they sleep might be great for others, but it is hard for me to accomplish. That is when I can eat, shower, or even go through the mail, etc.
We thought that we had colic issues, too. Thankfully, I think we were wrong. In some way or another, we can always console him, praise God. I do alot of holding and I am not sure if I should be putting him down more, but he doesn't like being down for long. Even in the swing or bouncy chair, he gets a bit restless. In order to sleep, even for a cat nap he has to be swaddled - thankfully we can do this for him.
The N/ap Nanny seems to help him sleep better and for longer periods of time and that means Mama gets to get some rest, too.
During the day, I am so busy caring for him, I have not managed to return many calls, do any thank you cards, or accomplish much of anything. During the week, I was able to cook two suppers and then I tried to make some oatmeal cookies which I hope helped to produce more milk. It seems like such a huge accomplishment when I am able to do at least one-two loads of laundry in between his naps!
I have yet to really go anywhere public with him yet, I am just so cautious to avoid him getting sick and the weather is not so much fun right now in promoting outings with one so small. I am going a bit stir crazy and I miss seeing other people, espceically my friends. My family makes odd comments about Joseph and just seems to cause me to worry more and enjoy their presence less. This makes me sad.
I have gotten to the point that I am so lonely or feeling so isolated that I turn on the tv for noise. That is not me at all. I am learning to adapt. This baby is worth it and when we are able to come and go as we like, look out Tar.get and even my sweet friends who have offered to let us visit them as soon as we are ready to get out of the house.
Even though I am pumping and feeding Joseph with a bottle, I am still the only one feeding him. My husband fed him once for me and I missed it. He did it so I could actually have two hands to eat. That particular day I hadn't managed to eat much and it was late and that affects my milk. Some days we just do what works, that is all we can manage right now. It doesn't help that my husband is now working longer hours and so he might get about 2-3 hours at home for awake time and he is missing Joseph. When he is home, it makes such a difference. He is phenomenal on helping me have all that I need to make each moment easier. I love him so much!
I am so happy for you! I understand the reflux, Charlie had it so bad! It helped to have him on an eat play sleep schedule so that the holding upright was part of our play time and I didn't have to lay him down after eating. It also helped with not having him associate nursing with sleep, which helped later. But there are more than one way to do these things, so these are just ideas that worked for us. Every mama and baby is different. For example, I was never able to sleep when they did either, but as he gets older if you can go to bed earlier, like when they do for the night, it will help. Again, if you can. How old is Joseph now? It will take awhile before you can care for him and do other stuff, it does for all of us. But you will get there, I promise! Also, it never hurts to hold them a lot, but it may help if you have a sling or carrier so you can do it hands free and get some bottles cleaned at the same time if you want. And Medela makes these great steam bags for the microwave. You can use each 20 times and they come with 5 in a pkg. That might save you some time too. I promise you will be able to get out of the house soon and be more social, but I totally agree it is okay to be in survival mode right now. Do what works and know this newborn phase doesn't last forever so it is okay to enjoy and let some other things slide.
ReplyDeletei will keep you in my prayers my dear! You are doing an awesome job!!
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