I am almost done with the clomid this cycle. I am so happy, because I have had the wildest range of emotions lately and it did not help that I hurt a tooth and had to hunt down a dentist and have some dental work done yesterday. It came out of nowhere and really hurt. I felt like so whiny, but it was more miserable than the worst cramps I have ever had before. I had to go to a new dentist, but he did well, but I think it needs a little more work bc I am still trying to drink and eat only on one side of my mouth. I don't have dental insurance, so I had to pay a huge amount of money! We are trying so hard to watch our spending so much, but this was necessary.
Today we had a great day! It started out busy, though. I had two little boys, ages 4 and 5 who came by my house with their grandpas this morning and while J was outside with the men, I was watching the two busy and talkative boys! They are both so sweet and BUSY! They had fun trying to "TRAP" Baylie so they could pet her. She loved it! She had fun playing with them, so much so that when they went out to the porch, she cried for them.
In other news, we went to buy new cat bowls today. Simple you say, but they are so adorable. We found a great bargain for some really cute ones at Ross. We had some cute ones before, but poor Baylie was like a little orphan and would eat out of the pathetic little blue bowl we had, so now she & Daisy each have their own food bowl and share one for water. Baylie is a little hog, so Daisy would always just let her win when eating, so we give them each their own bowl. They were only a $1.99 each.
I recently bought a new comforter and sheets for our spare bedroom and it turned out great. My tastes have been changing lately, I love bold colors these days.
Some news to be thankful about is that I think that J is really beginning to understand how much I want to be a mother and that I am fully open to doing that through the miracle of adoption. He has actually been bringing up short comments about what the future will hold for us. I have just been very assertive in expressing myself and I have tried a million different ways to make this crystal clear, but only yesterday do I think he really "Got It". I want to raise children, I don't have to give birth to them for me to love them. I told him that I felt we have been going in opposite directions in regard to building our family for some time. This is not to say that I do not want to being open to life in my own womb, but I want to be able to be open to any life that could possibly be brought into our family. I am not trying to say that I think it is hopeless for me to get pregnant again or possibly bring a new baby to a healthy birth, but I want to know that if that doesn't happen, we can find another way to grow our family. I think he is really getting it because today he acknowledges that we will try a few more months to see how I respond to the meds and then we will go from there. That is his way of saying he is trying to be open. My heart just soared. Baby steps, I am so thankful for them. The prayers must be working. Actually, I have been asking for the intercession of St. Monica recently in regard to helping to restore that common goals that J and I have in our family. She has been a good role model for me lately. I am also praying for St. Gerard's intercession. I am keeping those saints busy!
On a completely different note, we are trying to get ready to have Baylie's front claws removed and the vet keeps suggesting that we get her spayed at the same time. I just have such a hard time making an animal inable to reproduce. Not that we want kittens or plan to let her be an outside cat, I just am so sensitive about this. I feel like our society neuters everything. I am a silly girl. I know that I will have to do this, I just wish I did not feel so concerned about it. Daisy was spayed already when we adopted her. Please someone tell me I am nuts to be worried about this! I think that I am just on fertility awareness overload and need to get my head on straight. I just feel like I am taking something away from her, but I don't want her going into heat all the time either. I wonder if there is anyone else who has ever stressed about this? My insanity is coming through, loud and clear!!!
Anyway, enough rambling, I have to go start dinner. I have been so hungry latley and I don't have anything to blame it on.
I would get the cat spayed...it will only take one time for her to get out of the house...to get pregnant...and she might try to escape more when she is in "heat". We had a cat that howled when she was in heat and she put her butt up in the air...she ended up having three kittens..that's when my parents had her spayed and that all ended. Bo.b Bark.er wasn't all that wrong in endorcing getting your cat spayed or neutered. That is just my humble opinion. Blessings.
ReplyDeletePraise God that your husband is slowly coming around, the intercession of St. Monica is so powerful isn't it? Yeah I agree with prayerfuljourney, she needs to be spayed, this will make her less likely to try and get out of the house. It's the best thing for the cat really.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Her desire to get pregnant is as big as your desire! hahahaha So you might want to spay her before she gets pregnant. Then you have a pregnant cat to be jealous over! hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteLove the room! Great colors!
Even though I have been out of commission I think about you a lot! xxoo
I understand your hesitation to get Baylie spayed. I watched a dog of mine that was spayed before she had any puppies mother a doll before she adopted a stray cat. It was so obvious that she had an innate need to mother. That being said, I think the other girls are right.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad J is coming around. I pray for you two everyday and hope that God fills your arms soon.
Thank you so much for your sweet comments on my blog. Your prayers mean a lot to me. Blessings, LA
Oops, I am not thinking...
ReplyDeleteHere is my email address:
ambermassett@yahoo.com
Hi,
ReplyDeleteWould you mind emailing me so I can get your email address. Thank you so very much!!!!
Many prayers,
Amber
Glad you and your DH are getting on the same page. It's so hard to struggle with all of this and feel alone, too.
ReplyDeleteIn re: cat - OK, I'm probably crossing a line here, but I would advocate spaying her and NOT declawing her. My family had a very large total number of cats when I was growing up, and some of the girl cats became, ahem, ladies before we had the surgery scheduled. The upshot is that they're miserable on a regular basis and get themselves kitty-raped by any boy cats around (which they really don't seem to like), plus they howl all day for days and days. I think they lives more peaceful lives spayed. The declawing, on the other hand, seems cruel to me. There are certain types of furniture you can't have with an indoor cat unless it's very disciplined (rare), but all of ours had their claws and as long as we chose upholstery well it wasn't a problem.
I understand that intentionally making your cat infertile (well, sterile really) is disconcerting when you are IF. I hope that you are able to no longer stress about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that J's heart is starting to open to adoption (Go, St. Monica!). You are in my prayers as always.