Good Weekend

This weekend turned out to be so busy! There is definitely some sleep deprivation going on in this household. I am on cd 19 (I think) and it seems that I am now P+1. Finally there was a P day! I am having a lot of strange feelings around my ovaries and my one tube today. It comes and goes and has been happening for almost this whole cycle. I am really concerned about it, but am so tired of worrying.
We had so much fun spending time with our dear friends and their family this weekend. We celebrated our godson's 1st birthday. We were around some amazing families and people who shared our values, truly a gift and something we don't take for granted anymore. I have been telling J that it would be great that if we would just keep hanging out with our super fertile friends that we would be fertile by osmosis. hahaha. It made it very hard to avoid days of fertility after you have just been so surrounded by fertility? Does this make any sense? It just seems to me that when I am surrounded by babies and little ones, I am so much more on fire to try to have one of my own. Lord, I am ready for you to make a highway in this desert of my body. Make me fertile, please God. I will continue to beg God to bring new life into our family. I am so happy for another blogger shared her happy news of pregnancy. It just gives me so much hope!
One last thought, I had some amazing conversation with my dear friend yesterday and was just so thankful that God uses friends to share his love and insight with us. I told her how I had struggled for a while about wondering if it was prudent to try to conceive again and that I blamed myself for harming my baby and getting angry with my body for it not only failing me, but failing my baby. She unquestionably immediately said "It is prudent to keep trying to be open to life. . .seek it with all your heart . . .beg God" I felt that God just reached down from heaven with another message to get me through the next few hurdles that are surely going to meet me on this journey. Very similiar to the first reading this morning from Mass. We need to be fed to be ready for the journey. I am so thankful for so many that feed me daily with hope, grace, and joy. To God be the glory!