Feeling Better

I am finally feeling better. Yesterday was horrible, but today is so much better.
I did have some more red spotting yesterday morning and immediately got back in bed and waited until 9am to call the nurse to let her know the brown spotting was continuing (vl, btw) and that I did have some red spotting that morning. She talked with the doctor and they decided I needed a very early utrasound. I am not sure that there is anything that they can see yet. So I dutifully found a ride and cried before my aunt came to get me. I had to go to a local hospital bc my doctor's was closing for the day when the orders were sent out. Well, to make a long story short, I don't think the lady who did the ultrasound new what she was looking for at this early stage in pregnancy. Dr. H told them to look for a fetal pole. It may still be too early for a heartbeat. Well, they did not tell me anything at the hospital so I had to wait for nurse to call me back. Keep in mind that part of the ultrasound was done vaginally and I thought for sure she was trying to find my throat. I was so scared but kept trying to remind myself that God is in control of this situation and my worrying is not going to add or take away from the outcome. I say tried, but I had to keep reminding myself that I was a faithful woman and whatever cross God has set before me, I will be able to handle, by His grace. I don't if it will be gracefully though. So anyway, when the nurse calls me back with the results, she is blown away at their lack of professionalism. She said the results were lacking a great deal. They said in their report that it could be that it is too early to see a growing baby yet, or it could be a missed abortion, or it could be an ectopic pregnancy. It took me nearly all night to get past these terrible thoughts and there was so much fear in my heart that I did not like how I was feeling. My husband was worried, but still very optimistic. So the nurse told me to have Jessy give me another prog. shot last night and that I would need to take some vaginal prog meds starting tonight. Overall, this is the best I have felt in days. I think the prog. shot is working. I have been able to get out of bed and have no red bleeding and I have been drinking so much water, I am staying in the bathroom. My least favorite place to be. I was able to actually eat some breakfast and actually got hungry for lunch. I had a chicken sandwich and some baked chips. I feel like a new woman. What I am afraid of is that on monday that want me to do another quan. beta hcg test to see how that is rising. This is how they found out last time that I was miscarrying, but I keep thinking I have a very agressived doctor and nurse working on my behalf and already I am further along. I just keep praying that we can see some evidence of our little one on Thursday when we have our second ultrasound at my doctor's office. I know that you are all praying so hard for us and I am so very grateful. I have a blessed St. Gianna medal that was touched to her gloves at the shrine and I have been placing that and another gift that was blessed in Jesesulem on my womb when I am lying down.
By the way, when I got home from the ultrasound yesterday and got on my porch there was a beautiful green dragonfly on my porch and the acorn is still right in front of my Mary statue where I put it one Saturday. I hope I am not being foolishly optimistic, I just know that I am being called to be faithful right now!
Since I have found myself with so much more reflective time, I praying for you all! Thanks for your support. You all are truly a gift that God has graciously shared with me. I had asked God to send me friends who could truly understand where I was at in my life and he answered that prayerr through this blog. I would have never imagined. I never thought I would blog, but it is almost like a life source now. God bless you all!