Attitude

I have been so impatient lately! Really bad . . . really!

I even fussed at Se.ars today because I had to walk around the whole ground level of the store because no one was at a working register. When I did find a worker near a register, she told me she would take me at a register further away in a different section. I was really pathetic! To top it all off, the sweet lady gave me an additional 15% off to make up for making me hunt down someone to check me out. I guess she felt sorry for me with my big waddle, but I was able to buy a cute maternity top for $9.25! I think I was just overdoing it today and my body and mind were just worn down. Yet, even if I am worn down, I need to keep it to myself.

There has been a high amount of stress in my life lately and I am probably even more stressed simply trying hard to not let the stress worry me like crazy.

My mom is in the hospital again. Poor thing, this is the third time this year that she has had to be in the hospital. Her health has really diminished a great deal over the last few years and she has been having a great difficulty walking and starting to fall and two sundays ago, she fell and broke/crushed an area behind her knee and had to be rushed to the hospital. She is on disablity and did not receive great medical care right away and was very limited in getting transportation, so they finally admitted her yesterday to the hospital, once she was able to see a doctor who could possibly help her in the way she needs. The really sad part is that she needs to keep her leg immoblilized for the next six weeks and will likely be put in a rehab facility because she needs a higher level of medical attention than what she could get at home, yet they may end up having to get home health if insurance doesn't approve the rehab facitlity.

She was in tears knowing that she would almost surely miss the baby shower and who knows if she will be able to go to the hospital when the baby is born. I keep telling her that we need her to take care of herself first and that there will be time for her to spoil and love on Joseph. Yet, I am sad about the times she won't be there to celebrate with us.

In my defense, before the Se.ars episode, I had did my blood draw, spent a few hours with my mom at the hospital, watched a deplorable hospital staff not want to help my mom with her bathroom needs and then after I leave I call her to see how the situation worked out after I left and could barely hear the words she was saying because she was crying so hard because they did not treat her well and I had to call the head nurse to report the issue and then FINALLY she got the medical equiment she needed and pain meds. No matter what . . . the situation is terrible.

The past 10 days have just been hard to see my Mom look like my grandma in her last stages. Thankfully, I got to really talk to my spiritual director about all of this last week and Joseph is the only reason I so determined to take it easy and make my biggest priority all about keeping him safe and sound!

I pray I keep my attitude in check, it can happen, right???