My heart aches

there are really no words to express the deep anxiety I have experienced the last 4 days.


Joseph is not doing well adjusting to school and is trying his hardest to refuse to return.


I am not sure if he is just struggling like most kids struggle with this type of transition or if it is something more.


My spirit could not even find the words to pray, just heart pains placed at Jesus' feet.

I am overwhelmed.  Trying to think of starting work in the next 10 days, orientation in three days.

His behavior has been in a state of regression since starting school.  That on top of having developed a cold that was the main reason he was home on Friday.

Dearest Abba,
Please lead us down the path that will be right for our family.  Please help us find the support we need to help our boy, help us, Lord, meet the needs of our family.  Amen.

First day of School

 

We captured these blurry shots but I still adore each one!!!

He was super excited to show off his lunch box!!!

Funny faces   Are you done yet???

All of this sweetness, ready for school!

A big first

 

Joseph started his first day of Pre-Kindergarten today!

He was so excited and very happy to be heading to school this morning.  His Momma, on the other hand, had emotions all over the place.  It helped so much that he was thrilled and not sad in any way.  I really do believe he will do well, he sat down with 3-4 other boys his age and began to color before he I left. 

I think what really did me in was that I did not kiss him before I walked out of the classroom.  I can come up with a million reasons why I did not.  Primarily, was because when I was leaving I told him “Bye” and he shot his had up to give me a high five along with a huge smile on his face that conveyed to me “I am here, this is what I have always waited for . . .”  I also did not want to make it harder on him, which was ridiculous because he was not having any problems at all!!!  Or, maybe I just did not want to embarrass him.  No matter what the reasoning was, I have regretted it the whole walk to the car, the whole ride home, and even now while I sit here and type this post.  Nothing will stop me from smothering him in kisses this afternoon when I pick him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The weather is crazy storming right now and we had to put on raincoats, etc to get to the car, to the school, and to the classroom.  Lightening, thunder, pouring rain.  It was so bad this morning that when we woke Joseph up he said “it is raining outside.”  I told him that when it rains on your first day of school it means lots of blessings are coming down for you.  He grinned and giggled while saying “Wow, Momma, that is A LOT of blessings!!”  Your are right, baby Boy!  For you and for all of your friends!

Jessy was a complete life saver today!  As always, he took care of us in such a loving and kind way before we even had a chance to think of things, he was taking care of it!  He got Joseph and I rain coats, packed Joseph’s lunch, helped me get him dressed, dropped us off in the long circle before the storm swept us away.  When I refer to this morning as pure craziness, I mean this weather was nuts for a first day of school experience,  however, I am grateful we have a vehicle to drive him to school and did not have to wait on a bus, or walk in the rain.  Such blessings, I tell you!  Jessy is so proud of Joseph and thrilled for him that he is excited for school.  Joseph sure loves his DaddyO!!!

Here is a sweet picture of Joseph with his new teacher, Mrs. Webb!

Many prayers for a day full of blessings, joy, fun, and new friendships while learning! 

My new lunch box!!!!

 

Joseph seems to be thrilled to be going to Pre-K soon and he found his lunch box and packed a few treats and could not wait to eat them tonight!  I am smitten with this little guy!

Silly giggles with Granny!

 

Granny came to visit and we played lots of fun games, but Joseph’s had a ball marching to the beat of his own drum

Meet & Greet

In this whole parenting thing, life can get overwhelming, unbalanced, and feel so rushed.  However, for this very brief moment in time, I want to cherish this very real lively boy who fills my days with so much goodness and even challenges.  The challenges have just been immense today, so I have cherished the sweet moments so much more.  

Here is a memory from this afternoon that I can't quite put words to because the reality of time marching on brings great sadness to my Momma's heart.  {deep breath}

On our way to meet & greet with the new teacher.  So thankful God has shared him with us!  He was very excited and when returning home he kicked off his shoes and said "whew, what a school day!" Ljke he was completely exhausted!

To go to sleep j had to use my imagination to tell him a story about the Bernstein Bears' Beach trip.  

Good night friends, this momma is drained, emotionally!

Bubbly Boy

 

Joseph has been having a ball with the new freedom of having a small bathroom that he enjoys using more often these days!  He gets excited to take a bath and had a ball playing in the bubbles Sunday! 

I adore this sweet kid!  Last night he lost his first tooth, tomorrow he begins pre-k.  My heart is proud and tattered as I instinctively want to cling to him and keep him close to me for always!

All in one day....

Whew!  What a wild ride yesterday ;)

We did some things at home, went to Zaleigh's birthday party, and then came home to a crazy storm, no electricity for few hours, then bath, supper, more play & the bed time.  Joseph wanted to do prayers in the living room so we did and he asked God to bless us (with Holy water), we prayed, brushed teeth, and went to read his stories in bed.  All of the sudden he excitedly proclaimed "I got it out!!!!  Oh, oh, oh!!!!  Look I got my tooth out.  Combine that with the fact is STILL MY BABY at four (4 years 8 months today) and will start preschool this week has me all emotional and lonesome for my itty bitty "baby Joseph"!

He was very excited to put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy but he took some time to ask the tooth fairy "Dear Tooth Fairy, please let me keep my tooth, thank you."  While trying to telling graciously that we don't say prayers to the tooth fairy (he had assumed his prayer folded hands, etc to have his talk with the tooth fairy he sincerely asked me "well, how will they know my words, then?"  Aww, be still my heart.

Finally got my growing, sweet boy back to bed and answered a thousand questions, read a story, and then he fell asleep.  Oh how my heart aches and is proud for him all at the same time!

We did get an extra (almost) three months with this tooth.  He had bit into a lollipop in May after a haircut, Momma freaked out, brought him to the dentist the next day, etc.  The dentist did x Rays and it showed his permanent bottom teeth were beginning to push up, this helped loosen the bottom baby teeth a bit.  

I will always love this boy to the moon and back!!!!!!!!

Giddy up cowboy!!!

 

Joseph went to his friend’s, Zaleigh’s, birthday party this weekend and loved the stick horses his Aunt Laurie made for everyone.