Holy Mass

 

It has become more challenging as the months pass to bring Joseph to Mass.  I never thought much about how hard it is to bring little busy boys to church, but he is teaching me a lot these days.

We have been doing our “Tour of the Diocese” a bit recently because his nap and morning wake up schedule really doesn’t mesh well with our limited mass times at our local church.  We have a very small parish and only a few opportunities for Mass times.  Yet, it seems the situation has gotten worse on the last month and I have just been determined to at least get the big boys to mass each Sunday.  I am just really grasping the idea that we did not just get one child, we received three children in 7 months.  No wonder, we still live in survival mode at times.  I decided today to give myself a break for the high expectations.  I am gonna get a lot wrong, but as long as I get the important things right – we are good!

So all of that rambling we just a preface to say that Joseph is a big ham a mass lately, making it a very unholy experience for his Daddy and I.  So when Joseph took a late nap after a crazy day, I realized if he woke up soon we could go to mass this afternoon and avoid the craziness tomorrow.  There would be less people and this mass is not as lone, maybe a good combo for Joseph.  Hahaha!  He still was a ham, but here are some fun memories of our one hour in church.

• Joseph decides to show off in front of Father Emmanuel – after stopping by the holy water font upon entering the church and doing the sign of the cross, I decide maybe Joseph will like to try to dip his hand in the holy water to practice the sign of the cross.  I know the priest was waiting to chaos and water to splash everywhere in the large font, yet Joseph carefully touched his hand to the water and immediately put this hand to his forehead (that is all he does these days for the blessing at meals and when we pass the church) and looked directly at the tabernacle where Jesus was residing.  I was amazed and I could see the look of wonder on our priest’s face.  Joseph made it look like he did this every day.

• Backtracking a bit – when I woke up Joseph and asked him if he wanted to go bye bye to go to Mass at Church, he lit up like a Christmas tree and went “Yaaa” in his sweet soft voice.  I thought we were hitting the jackpot until I tried to wrangle his squirming body into his carseat to actually get there!

• At one point I was kneeling during prayer and he was checking everybody out and when he noticed the man behind us and how he folded his hands in prayer, he immediately turned around and put his hands in the prayer position, he does this often during meal blessings, but this gentleman reminded him to do it at Mass while Momma was praying and it was a beautiful sight.

• During the consecration, when they ring the bells three times Joseph said very clearly said with wonder “Whoaaaaa” EACH and EVERY time the bells sounded and the WHOLE church heard him because he did not use his inside voice.

• He gave me very loving, tight, full-bodied hugs in mass . . . the kind that remind you all the way down to your core that it is these moments that help you endure the tantrums and tough moments that come with gaining and learning independence in toddlerhood.

• They had two collections at Mass today, he was misbehaving and missed the first one but saw me put the money in and wished he was able to do it, so when the time came for the second collection I hurried and got out a few dollars and handed to him not really sure if he would put it in willingly or not, but when the gentleman came with the basket Joseph eagerly put his dollars in and was so pleased with himself.  It was a moment that I think I will remember for a long time, it was just unexpected and priceless.  Pure joy.

• After communion he was READY to GO!  Like don’t stop at the pew, just get me to the door Momma Ready   so when we got to the pew, the crying began.  Thankfully it was short-lived and when he saw the priest and altar servers lining up to leave the altar he clearly said LOUDLY and SINCERELY where our small church could hear clearly “Bye!!!”  Well, I guess he was done.  haha

• Upon leaving, he greeted everyone and once again reached down into the Holy Water font as I did at the entrance of the church and signed himself in his own unique way and acknowledged the tabernacle.  How does he know this?  He then had an animated visit with Fr. Emmanuel. 

• And one last tidbit, as I received communion, he was a bit miffed that he did not receive the body of Christ as I did and received a blessing instead – I had to pull his hand away from the paten (is that what it is called) that held the other pieces of bread.  I guess he will be excited come First Communion time. 

He seemed to do better with me by myself at mass with him than with Jessy and the older boys because when we are all there together he tries to go from one to another A LOT.  So now they will go to Mass at 7 am tomorrow while Joseph and I sleep in, hopefully :)

A few memories from the very beginning of his faith journey!

Bottle

I am almost ashamed to admit this but we are still weaning Joseph off the bottle. I know most people get rid of the bottle at a year, Joseph always like his bottle and to be honest we don't generally do what everybody else does if it doesn't work for us.

As you all know, in the beginning the bottle was my arch enemy! I wanted with all of my being to nurse him and despite our huge effort he just never latched. When we did surrender to using pumped milk in bottles it was a task to find the right nipples for him. The only one that worked was the playtex drop-ins and easy flow ones. After my supply dwindled to nothing, we used formula. Another big step for this momma. He stayed on formula until about 16 months because he thrived on the stage two stuff and still turned his nose up to regular milk. We kept introducing regular milk to him for months and finally he decided he liked it. So now we were one step closer right?

It still took lots if time. He never, ever liked sippy cups, we went straight to straws and cups, but he would still take a bottle 2-3 times a day, especially if he was sick or teething.
Now we are down to one bottle at bedtime. The best thing a friend told me when I talked to her if my shame of not weaning him earlier was "why are you so worried about, if he was nursed he probably would still be nursing 1-2 times daily for comfort anyway". This brought peace to my battered heart. So tonight, I could've given him his last bottle. It is bittersweet. I love my cuddles that go along with it, but hope that we are doing the right things at the right times. He is an amazing boy, I truly am thankful to God for his great favor in sharing him with us.

He is pure gift.

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Same old feelings

Just a reality check and reminder that AF still stinks and cd 1 and cd 2 really do need to reside elsewhere!
They sure know how to ruin a girls day, especially when she dreamed of getting surprised with a blessed 'positive'. What am I thinking anyway? I keep thinking that we should try when I am 38 or 39. Haha, tell God your plans right?
I seriously went to bed last night saying it will be perfectly fine if Joseph is our only living child (I have the two older boys but I am sure they'll be hanging around that much after the move out after school thus making Joseph feel like an only child around 6 years old). I just seriously hate the emotions cd1 sends you, hope today is better!

On a sidenote, I finally got into see the local endocrinologist and their office was welcoming, professional, and it seems they know their stuff about thyroid and insulin. Praise The Lord! I basically told them what my diagnosis would be and because of my history and experience, they believed me, which is rare! When sharing my story of how I found healing for a time that allowed us the miracle if Joseph, they all (the doctor and two nurse practitioners) just said "well whoever this doctor is, he sure knew what he was doing". Could not say it better myself! The reason I sought help from a local endocrinologist was because I could tell my thyroid was completely messed up again and that my pcos symptoms were returning! I was miserable, cold all the time, gaining weight at an alarming pace, and craving carbs all day! That appr was last week and I learned my tsh levels were crazy high, as well as my insulin! Scary stuff.
The doctor explained a new way to approach food and it is remarkable! I changed how I fed my body the next day, started a synthroid, and glucophage (yesterday) and have already seen 5 pounds melt away!! I am so happy about that! The weight I have gained in the last year was overwhelming. After Joseph, the pregnant weight + 15 lbs or so melted off quick, but then about 60 came later and quickly! I hope I can keep getting better, it nice seeing my body responding to my new meds and my new ideas on feeding my body!


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Nighttime sweetness

During night time prayer tonight I was all done with our prayers when Joseph signs "more". We prayed another 10 Hail Marys and then he was satisfied! That had to make Mama Mary proud! I sure was proud!
Just before you think he is totally angelic, I need to disclose this tidbit! He did not want to get a blessing and he surely did want to give one tonight, something else new to us so I asked and signed "please" and he nearly rolled his eyes as if to say "oh, she thinks she is slick!" It worked like charm though, for both me and his Daddy!

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What to do . .

What’s a toddler to do when his Cozy Coupe has no radio???

 

Well, he sneaks into Mama & Daddy’s room, digs under the bed to find the one the big boys were punished from and installs it, of course!

All in the blink of an eye.

And then you weep because you and the radio can’t both fit in the Cozy Coupe

21 months

 

 

Our boy is growing up.  It seems like only yesterday we were meeting him for the first time!  These fun pictures were taken before I left for the concert on the Saturday he turned 21 months old.  I gave him a big kiss with my lipstick on (I hardly ever wear makeup anymore) and couldn’t resist capturing a few pictures.

Haha – big ole smooch!

Here he is thinking “Where do you think you are running off to, Mama?”

At 21 months, Joseph is weighing 32 lbs and is 36 1/2 inches tall.  He looks like he is 3 or 4 years old!  He is talking so much more these days and understands everything that he is told to do.  He loves to serve others and enjoys giving hugs and kisses!  He gets excited to give us blessings at night and likes to fold his little hands for prayer.

As with any toddler, he is making his will known and testing boundaries, whew!  He sure is one determined little man and funny too.  He likes to surprise us and tickle us.

He is currently on a pj pants strike and slept in just a diaper and shirt for the first time last night.  He slept 11 hours, praise the lord!

This has really been a big developmental stage for him and he loves to build towers of blocks, work on his tools, send/receive mail at his mailbox, and is a huge fan of Brother Francis.

We have also been doing lots of coloring!

 

It has been so much fun the last few months with his overall health so much better and him sleeping more and for longer periods of time.  I am still not quite ready to have a two year old so I am thankful we have another 3 months to get used to that idea!

I figured it out . . . .sort of

 

Dear Joseph,

On Saturday evening, your Momo and I went to see Alabama in concert.  I was very excited and nervous, as it was the first real time I have been away from you for that long (5 hours) and for something that was just fun!  You also turned 21 months old that day.  It was a day filled with celebration and joy!  You did great with Dadddy and the change really helped you two to bond even more!  You even let him put you to sleep, this was a big step for you!  We were so proud of you.

While Momma was away, she was learning new things too!  One thing that I learned was my whole purpose is in being your mama and what I will focus our life around from here on out.  I already try to do this, but it just seemed like God revealed a special gem to me to let me know that motherhood is not rocket science and that I will get a lot of things wrong, but this lesson was the one that has to stick at all costs!  The lesson I am referring to is how I can help prepare you for heaven.

At our concert, they sang a gospel song that I have always loved and would sing with my own grandmother.  The gospel song was “Will the circle be unbroken.”  Here are the lyrics:

I was standing by my window
On a cold and cloudy day
When I saw the hearse come rollin'
For to take my mother away.

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

I told the undertaker:
"undertaker, please drive slow,
For this body you are haulin'
Lord, I hate to see her go".

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

Well I followed close behind her,
Tried to hold up and be brave,
But I could not hide my sorrow
When they laid her in the grave

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

I went back home, my home was lonesome,
Missed my mother she was gone.
All my brothers and sisters crying
In our home so sad and alone.

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

We sang the songs of childhood,
Hymns of faith that made us strong,
Ones that our mother had taught us,
Hear the angels sing along

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

It was in those soft moments that I knew that I would serve you well by simply teaching you that life may be fun here yet the best is yet to come.  Heaven is our home, love is present here on earth, yet love in heaven is abundant – overflowing!  Our goal in this life is to be welcomed into heaven by the Prince of Peace, embraced in the arms that stretched out on the cross for us, welcomed into the embrace of the saints and our Momma Mary.  Heaven is the reward, heaven is the prize.  That home is better!  I may get lots of things wrong, but I pray that I can always remind you that Heaven is our destination . . .and it is a worthy fight to strive to get there!!!

I am not a young mama, I am not in the best health but I am hoping to be here for you for a long, long time!  You really are my sunshine, you warm my heart every day!  I love you, for all-ways!

Love,

Momma

A beautiful day to play!

Last week I had to bring Joseph to the doctor. Something was not right and it was more than just teething and his cold symptoms kept lingering as well as a fever that would come and go randomly.
You couldn't just look at him and know he felt bad but he just was not himself. Ears were good, throat looked good so we did some blood work and found out he was having dealing with a nasty viral infection and his allergy count showed very high. His doctor was very concerned with his allergies and I explained that the reason we hardly did fun things outside was because we always had a sick boy afterwards. He did not respond the meds she gave him before so we tried a different one with a very small dose and it is helping. She also told us to get an air purifier for at least his sleep area and to always remove his shoes at the door after outside play and to always wipe him down with a wet rag and change his clothes after outside play so that he would not have to keep breathing in those allergens when he is inside. She said to be sure to do this before naps so that the allergens don't get on his sheets or blankets.
Well, we finally went to get and air purifier today at Lowes and afterwards I brought him to a park for 45 minutes! He loved it and it was gated and not on grass! I hope this helps the allergies not bother him.
Do y'all use an air purifier in your home? If so, what kind? It is overwhelming trying to choose one and they are not inexpensive!!





































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My superstar!

We had a busy Friday with just enough time to get up and have breakfast before bringing Mitchell to an appointment, so when we came home Joseph wanted to stay home!! After the first appointment we made our way home for a nap and lunch before having to bring Matthew to a eye appointment! I work real hard to make these moments positive and so as I woke him up with a cheerful smile, I started out pretending to stretch to wake up! He immediately smiles without even cracking open his eyelids ;). As I slowly wake him he snuggles close and I ask him if he wants to go bye bye to get Matthew and he shocked me by nodding "no" and clearly saying "I seep"! He says it another two times so it wasn't a fluke! I loved it! I love his voice, his ability to know his choice, and his booming communication skills! He is very good at signs and he is beginning to say the words as he signs them! He is making his personality known and it is fun to know him in this new way! We had a rough week with illnesses for Jessy, Joseph and I and finally we are all better, I hope for good!
So anyway after he finally got up from his nap, he found these sad looking sunglasses and refused to part with them! I thought it was ironic that we were going to the doctor for Matthews eye appointment to get a new script for glasses since he broke his last pair and now Joseph was sporting some broken glasses!





Love this crazy nut - all on his last day being 20 months!!! Where is the time going?
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I really should

Start potty training!



He only shared a bit with the potty so far, but I loved how he sat fully clothed backwards on the frog potty!

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Things have not been good on the home front with the two big boys and it is leaving Jessy and I feeling fragmented, disconnected, and tired.
The big boys have made progress but the areas that still need huge attention is just not getting any better and I am losing my faith and patience with them!
Last Friday, I chatted with Leila and felt so much better! The issues with these boys are huge! My patience is worn out! Not a good combo, praise God for a happy boy that keeps me with smiles and hope!
Tonight i just said something ugly to Jessy even though he is doing his best too! Praying that God will bless us in a powerful way!



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Our Lady Help of Christians

Today we explored a beautiful and welcoming church a few towns over!


I got the bright idea to get out his monkey backpack and explore the neighborhood while Matthew saw his counselor.


I have always wanted to go to this parish but so glad that Joseph was with me to behold its beauty!


The front doors were locked so we were just going to walk around the grounds and Joseph found some open doors on the side of the church!


It was as if Jesus knew we were on our way, there was even some soft music inviting us in! We admired the stations of the cross, spoke with St Joseph and Mary and took some special time to pray before the Blessed Sacrament.


It was dark and holy! Joseph was very reverent and while we were the only people talking, we felt God's presence in a very special way.


I love this view of mine, my Jesus and my boy!

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