Yesterday we took Joseph to a splash park and boy have we been neglectful for not doing so before! Shame on us
Joseph had a fabulous time and we got to visit our friend from Idaho and her three precious children!
Of course my memory card was left at home but I was able to capture and few pics and hope to get some from the Courville’s later!
This little guy is forever teaching me spiritual lessons and today I can completely see how he embraces the gospel in everything he does not because he has heard us preach this to him or anything but because it is just who God has created him to be and what God has called him to do! He has yet been untouched by the brokenness of our world, to him, the world is loving, kind, and just like his creator. I firmly believe that as we age we lose this sense of holiness, this innocence of trusting that the stranger we meet in the store, park, or church only loves us the way our God loves us! When he was little, I would see him gazing off into the lights and I would wonder if the brightness of the light reminded him of the bright purity of his Maker. I love how joy is complete in him and that he never feels like there is a lack of any need being met.
All of these thoughts came to me while looking at these pictures and remembering the one line in the homily this morning that will forever change my heart and how I approach God. The priest told us “You need to love the giver, not the gifts!” He asked us “What miracle are you praying for today?” Just moments ago I was asking God to somehow bless us with another child if it was for the betterment of all of our souls. Then, I hear this message. I don’t know what my reaction would have been if I would have received this message and not have known the joy of being Joseph’s mother! I am afraid that if my journey to growing our family would not have included Joseph, I would have spiraled into a sadness that I have never known or experienced before in my life.
I have been reflecting a lot of growing our family, I feel like a failure a great deal of the time with my home being cluttered, much less tidy than it was before we had three boys living here, and I question whether or not it would even be wise for us to desire, much less receive the huge blessing of another soul to love, nurture, and raise. I feel very inadequate a lot, but I think that comes with the territory of raising two highly animated teenage boys (with significant issues) and a wild goon of a toddler! In all my reflecting I am finding myself so very grateful that God gave us Joseph when he did, not because we had waited long enough but because that wait was good for us! The wait helped cement our marriage, our love, our commitment, our faith, our dependence on God alone, our willful surrender. I often think about what life would look life for us if we did have our first baby, Sam, who would have turned 11 years old this May and wonder if we were able to have had normal fertility, would we have still been adding to our family as our 1oth wedding anniversary approached? That is why I am thankful, that we were still waiting at 9 + years for our miracle because we could have missed him had we been set in another direction and not waiting for God to change our lives, our vocations, and our faith!
So instead of asking God for a miracle only today, I am proclaiming it as a day to praise God for the many miracles he has already blessed us with!
God is the giver I choose to love, today & always! His gifts are amazing, but it is His presence that I depend on!
What a beautiful message!
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