Prayer Buddies - Summer 2011

It is time for the big Prayer Buddy Reveal and I am so happy to have had the honor of praying for this wonderful lady

She is a beautiful woman of God, on fire for serving God and her family as she lives our her vocation as a wife and mother with joy!

My specific prayers for her included asking for the intercession of St. Joseph, St. Anne, and St. Therese, as well as the intercession from Our Blessed Mother.

Joy, you are such a example of living your vocation joyfully! Thank you, you are a blessing to so many.

Granny Fun!

My mom got to come visit Joseph this week! It was like a balm to my soul to see them have so much fun together!

Bear Bottoms

Our great friends from Idaho, Tony & Devan, gave Joseph this adorable 'Bear Bottoms' bed suit. I am a bit partial, but I think he looked adorable in it!

He is just so much fun these days, but tonight he is teething now big time and it has been a great gift to offer up for my prayer buddy :)

While I struggle to be joyful watching him grow up and not want to keep him small, I remind myself that this is what babies do, they grow! Thank you Jesus for allowing me this great gift to watch him grow! We are very blessed to be able to be his parents!

Beach Bum

On 9/11/11, we were in Galveston and brought Joseph to the beach for the first time.




How come the beach is fun until you are ready to leave and you realize that sand sticks to every body part like glue?


Water, sun, and a baby to love and a life to celebrate with my husband - my joy is complete!




No matter how dirty we were when we left, we enjoyed sharing this experience with him!

Last day being 8 months old

I have been so sentimental lately and I know I will miss these stages of precious beginnings! It seems that Joseph is growing up so quickly and while that is what he is supposed to do, I love him being little right now!
Nine months ago today, I was giddy to meet this little guy :) The giddiness is still there!

drifting off to dreamland!

9 months

yesterday Joseph turned 9 months old and we had fun just being together! We went to get our new van detailed, ran to do his 9 month well baby visit, visit Maria & Gianna (Joseph grinned from ear to ear with his dimple proudly shown when Gianna gave him a kiss!), ran to the grocery store and then called it a day!

Bittersweet feelings about my boy growing older.

I love him so much!

He is weighing 19 lbs and is 29 inches :)

Full of energy, fun, and super-snuggly!

Big new change is that he is doing well out in stores, thank the Lord! He was a ham at the market today! He loves to laugh and giggle and still adores books! Yesterday was the first time he looked at the picture on my bedside table and said "Dadada"! It was so sweet.

Finding Summer

A breath of fresh air

brought new life to my soul!

We made a quick trip to Galveston, TX and it was just what I needed!

Sun and water (and this sweet boy) is so good for my soul!

Island, Tears, and Truth

I have been feeling sick. Simple migraine issues that make me feel like I am dying. I cried while putting Joseph to sleep today because the pounding in my head was just breaking me down. I have tears in my eyes right now just letting those words have life and not just live in my thoughts. I feel so helpless, tired, and alone. Even though my house is bustling with chaos, I feel like I am on an island and I am the only one to care for Joseph and I. Occasionally, a few people show up but they make my life a series of actions, no depth. My husband has been working alot, we are new parents to two troubled (very troubled) teens, and I have one very clingy, teething, sweet little boy. It is soul crushing to feel this way. I feel like I can barely keep up, and then God gives me extra strength. I don't like to feel this way and I don't like the words that come out of my mouth at 2 am when I can't seem to sooth my baby back to sleep because I can barely open my eyes because my head hurts too much.

This is not where I want my life to be right now. But living with fertility issues, living within a complicated family, and outliving two of my children have taught me that I don't get to get what I want all the time. Even just every once in a while, is nice, but not expected. For instance, I asked my husband to do one thing for me two nights ago, it never happened and I just fumed internally. He never knew I was upset, only me. I only hurt myself. I am just used to telling my husband what I want/need and he usually accommodates my wishes fairly easy and without thought but right now he is completely worn out too and running on fumes.

I am finding myself upset often and not being able to choose my battles well with the older two boys because it is like they have been raised by wolves, no wolves would have done a better job raising them. This only adds to my grief because I see just how neglected they have been for so long and by members of my own family!!! It makes me sick. It was in 2007 that we started taking a really backseat approach to being it their lives, except their whole family moved in with us in 2008 and it was the worst experience of my life, except for learning to live life with out Nicky. One of them today was in tears because he told me that "I don't know why I keep lying to yall, I don't know why I keep being disrespectful." I told him that I believed him, but it is time to be a new creation, a new way of life has to take root or we will never be able to live in peace and be able to trust him. They have been trained to be bad, liars, thieves, and to be unaccountable for their actions . . . they have been taught that it is ok to live with failure, that it is all they are capable of. Can be we get them out of this rut? I know we cannot, but God can. Hourly, I beg Our Blessed Mother to guide me to be a mother to the three boys in my home. I am suffering, I feel my wounds and vulnerability just being magnified every minute.

The joy of my life is Joseph. I try so hard to be a good mother, but I am failing miserably at that as well. I cannot get him to sleep alone in his own bed for more than 40 minutes at night or 30 minutes during the day. He will sleep all night in our bed, or nap for two hours on me during the day, but no sleep is happening if he is in his crib. It is making me very grouchy and I only did it to myself. I can come up with many reasons I held him so much when he was little (reflux, colic, fear of something happening him related to breathing) but I should have figured something out by now. I have no one to blame but myself. I cannot stand to hear him cry for a long time when I can easily comfort him, but he needs to learn to comfort himself at some point. He can sort of soothe himself in our bed, but most likely he has to be rubbing our skin. I have tried to transfer his affection to a lovie, but he wants nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, his crib is in our room for a few reasons and I am not going to be moving it out anytime soon, so I am not sure what to do.

I am finally getting some relief from my migraine, I think it is mostly stress, allergies, etc. I am finally relaxing in my bed, while Joseph sleeps near me. I really hope we can find a solution that works for all of us. I cannot keep up with this way of life. I want to say I am open to suggestions, but I cannot accept any ridicule right now because I am too sensitive. If someone would have told me I would have a co-sleeping baby, I would have argued with them because that is one thing I wanted to avoid, but once again, I wanted to avoid alot of crosses and I still had to bear them. While being able to snuggle with a babe is not the kind of 'cross' I am used to, it is still affecting my life to where I am stressed and feel as though I am a bad mother. I feel like I am going to raise a spoiled babe because I can't get him to sleep alone! Really packing on the pressure here!

I have got to let myself relax. Somehow God will see me through . . . He has never let me down before.


Happy Birthday Mary, Mother of God. You are such a good role model for me! I wish I could have you over for a cup of tea so you could share your wisdom and love with me face to face. I need a motherly woman in my life right now.

My day by the numbers

1. one homemade chicken pot pie that was gobbled up by the three big boys while the little one ate cereal and peaches w/ rice pudding for supper.

2. two wonderful snuggly naps Joseph took today. He slept so peacefully and woke up so happy.

3. the number of times I kicked/ran into the walker that Joseph loves to play by but NOT in.

4. the number of loads of laundry I did today and the number of poopy diapers I changed!

5. the number of times I cleaned the bottles/bowls/etc.

6. the number of times I tried to read the last 20 pages of my book that I am reading. Reading? Me? I never thought I would read again!

7. the number of times (or more) that I nibbles of Joseph's sweet toes!

8. then number of towels I folded for the big boys bathroom.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000
the number of reasons I can come up with for why I love my life. Seriously, even in the hardest moments today . . . I still knew that I am living a blessed life and that all the crosses I carry or have carried are worth the joy God has placed in my life.

Waiting for a bath. , , , ,

While waiting for his bath, Mommy captured some sweet shots.

I cannot believe he is almost as tall as our big tub and he is only 8 1/2 months old.

Love this child, God knew we did not deserve you but I am so thankful He shared you with us.

Oh Boy!

Today has been spent home ALL DAY. That is really nothing new, but what makes today different is that we were ALL home. It was a very rainy day, thanks to Tropical Storm Lee, and so we just holed up in the house. We cleaned house, played games, did laundry, ate, and then ate some more ;)

Now, Jessy, Matthew, and Mitchell are watching the LSU game while Joseph is still crawling around the house like he got some sugar or something! He is pretty much playing a bit on his own which is a new 'thing'. Usually when I am home alone with him during the week, I cannot get out of his line of vision! He took two long naps today, I guess he is feeling the difference in our routine.

He has just been so much fun for all of us lately.


Anyway, today turned out to be a great day.

Father's Day 2011

Nearly three months ago we celebrated my husband's first Father's Day with Joseph.

It was a dream come true to celebrate my husband's vocation to fatherhood.

There are no real words to describe the emotions as I watched my husband experience that day. Really, everyday, since he has met and held his son close to his heart.

I have never really experienced seeing 'fatherhood' lived out joyfully, with purpose, and with a humbled heart. My husband teaches me everyday what the love of our Father in Heaven is like in the flesh. Joseph is so blessed to have his Daddy's arms to wrap him up close every night. Joseph is blessed indeed to have a praying father, too. When I first met Jessy, I knew in my gut that he would be a wonderful dad and even though the road has been rocky to making that dream a reality, we would not take away our suffering if given the opportunity. The waiting has made the days with Joseph that much sweeter.

Jessy is there to love, hold, cherish, guide, and pray for our son. Now, to me, that is the essence of true fatherhood.

There is great joy in celebrating life, even those not in this world anymore. There is great joy in seeing your two loves together.

Strong hands to hold, a soft heart to guide.



A strong man with gentle ways, I know Joseph will always admire his father.

The adoration is mutual, as you can see.

A dream come true, a prayer answered, a life loved.

Our 11th Anniversary

was celebrated two months ago today.
Unlike the 10 previous celebrations, we had a third little face to add to the pictures.


What a blessing to celebrate our love with our answered prayers in our arms.


Only God knew the road that was set before us.


Only God could write a love story so beautiful, so sanctifying.

My husband was definitely worth the wait and so was Joseph!

Yippee!!

cooler weather is bound to find us soon!