Mountain Climbing

I was on my way home from work this afternoon and I heard this amazing song from Sanctus Real called "Whatever Your Doing (Something Heavenly)" and the chorus has sort of been my mantra for the last month! Today I just really meditated on the lyrics and prayed them within the deep recesses of my heart and realized that I am actually trying to really surrender to God's will and I am starting feel a little anxiety! A link to the lyrics is here: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/sanctus-real-lyrics/whatever-you_re-doing-(Something-heavenly)-lyrics.html . There is a line that asks "Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessy over these hills?" I want so much to believe that I am doing everything to follow God's will! I equate following God's will to mountain climbing! To be a skilled mountain climber you have to condition your body by being healthy and of a strong mind! You have to have fierce determination to make it to the top! You have to calculate every move you make, knowing when to move or when to hold still and wait! I am so hopeful at this time, that I can't help but wonder if the bottom is going to fall out from under me and I will disappoint those around me by not becoming pregnant soon enough, if ever! I guess that this line of thinking wormed it's into my thougts at lunch today! At work, they prepare a lunch for all of the staff and we gather together for the meal and just connect with one another in conversation on something other than work. Well, it is only my second day back to work after my recent surgery and the priest I work with is quite sure that I will be pregnant sometime before Christmas and then I will leave and never come back to work! They really missed me and are so hopeful that we will conceive very soon, but they are not ready for me to leave my job for good! They continued to tease me, good naturedly, of course, about placing bets on when we will be blessed with a baby! While I appreciate their prayers and encouragement, it was a bit overwhelming and I suddenly felt alot of pressure to be successful in ttc. I really believe that God has placed such faith-filled and encouraging people in my path for a reason. I am so thankful for having them in my life, in fact, I am going to make them a suprise dessert for tomorrow's lunch! The ladies in the kitchen are always feeding us so well and I want to do something to show them how much I appreciate all that they do for us! So my prayer at this time is that God will give me the determination to of a mountain climber and help me to know when to move foward when he calls me foward!