Confusing

My cycle is off, really off. Not sure what is going on these days, but I do not like it. The last cycle lasted 39 days and I can't really say for sure if a new cycle has started. I mean, seriously, I don't often think that it is late enough to test, only to test and get weird results which results in my getting a bloodtest which only got my hopes of that we were blessed with another baby. Warning - TMI, cycle related. Yesterday I only spotted on the tissue 2 x Today, only a bit on tissue and pad. Really nothing all evenng, no severe cramping - extremely different than my other cycles. It is all very confusing and worrisome that my body has reverted back to being a huge mess. To be quite honest, I second-guessed the blood test for awhile and then rejoiced with the arrival of a need for a red sticker. Honestly, I have never rejoiced for a cd1!! Oh, well. I did get out my charts, so the fun begins. I can't wait to chart awhile and begin the journey in getting help with Dr. H again. Until, I will chase after the cutest boy around!

13 months

Joseph turned thirteen months old today and it was the first time, I did not wake up and know it right off the top of my head! I realized as I was feeding him lunch, he just laughed at me when I told him "Happy 13 months"!! So for the very forgetful and nutty woman that I am, we went yesterday to get his 1 year pictures done, because of course I had to do it while he was still 12 months old :) He just growing and moving and learning so much these days. I am astounded several times a day at how fast he is learning new skills and growing in independence! He is now 26.5 lbs and 31.5 inches, whew, no wonder my back aches these days! He is still a super snuggle bunny and loves to race across the floor in the living room and jump in my lap as fast as he can. He is still doing a few steps here and there, but his main mode of transportion is crawling unless he is using his push toy otherwise he is walking all over the house! He loves to talk and now he is fake sneezing!!! This boy is a character and oh, how I love him! My biggest accomplishment with him lately is trying to give him healthy foods to eat. He is a slow, choosy eater and now is tolerating more vegetables and fruits! Woo HOO!! This thrills me to no end. He is not much of a meat eater at all. Bread on the other hand, is quite addicting for him so we have to be very selective on that when bringing it out! I told my husband yesterday on the way home, "Sometimes I just look at him and think 'we almost missed you.' Meaning it took a great deal of faith and huge process to wait for him and believe me he was so worth the wait!!!

Quick Takes

While I am siting near Joseph sleeping, I decided I have time for a quick takes post. Here goes: 1. The weather here has been really chilly and Joseph's first reaction this morning when we stepped out the door this morning was a very discontented wrinkling of his nose and squishing his eyes :) One more reason to fall in love with him all over again. 2. No one slept last night . . . oh wait, at brief spells, Joseph slept and his Daddy and I did not! I actually made an appointment today to get his ears checked because it seemed (in all of my 3 am alertness) that he was rubbing his ears alot when he was waking up. He saw the doctor and she said his ears looked perfect but that he is getting a few more teeth on each side and on top/bottom so we just need to grin and bear it!! No, really, poor child the ibuprophen did nothing to ease his pain last night. He just wanted me . . . all night long. 3. We had a pregnancy hope (not scare) this week and it has been draining!!! Oh, how my heart dreamed and hoped. I was a bit shaken up about it for many reasons but alas, it is not the time for us. I did, however, unearth all of my charting stuff this week before thinking I could have possibly gotten pregnant. 4. I am still struggling big time with raising two teenage boys who do not seem to understand that we mean what we say and when the expectations we set out for them in the nature of rules is not followed, there will be consequences. The part I am struggling with most is that I am worried about my attitude in dealing with their behavior. I really need some mentors of good christian parents who are doing it right. Parenting is hard, but parenting children who have never been parented before is like climbing Mt. Everest for me!! 5. I really need to get in shape and start eating healthy. I try and then I fail. Food is a huge downfall for me and I need a huge injection of willpower. 6. Last night I was reading about postpartum depression and the use of progesterone support in helping ease the nature of PPD. I have to say that getting those PIO injections in the days that followed Joseph's birth and our coming home were a saving grace for me. I did not necessarily feel 'depressed' but I had lost all appetite (not good for a nursing mom), could not sleep, was excessively worried about Joseph,and was having heart pains. The only way I could describe it then was what I imagined a heart attack would feel like. I explained to one of my aunts when it was happening and she said it sounded like a panic attack. Outwardly, I was calm, but on the inside, I was falling apart and did not know why. I talked to PPVI and got help immediatley and did 5 shots of PIO and felt better immediatley. After the first dose, I was able to eat. Praise God, if you find yourself struggling with this cross, please get help. There is help available. 7. Joseph got his Flu vaccine today and two other vaccine shots. It takes a huge amount of grace for me to do these and schedule those appointments. HUGE!!! I literally pray the majority of the day that there will be no adverse side effects. We do have a fabulous pediatrician that uses an alternative schedule and this brings much peace to my heart. Have a great weekend, everyone! Be assured of my prayers for you all and your families!